I walk to the edge again, searching for the truth
Taken by the memories of all that I've been through
If I could hear your voice I know that I would be okay
I know that I've been wrong but I'm begging you to stay,
Won't you stay?
He opened his eyes again to the sun light cutting through the window. He pulled the pillow on his eyes and tried to remember what the hell had happened last night. But he doesn't remember much, only one thing: Sam said goodbye. And this time it was for good. He closed his eyes again and the images of Hell started to play back in his mind, clear, fresh, like he had never got out of there. And now Sam left. He slowly remembered to fight they had, Sam yelling that he lied to him and he really remembers clearly what happened to him in Hell. But Sammy doesn't know what hearing his voice once again does to him.
"Sammy "he starts but his mouth closes again. "I remember okay? Happy now? And if I lied I'm sorry, but Sam I don't want to place my burden on your shoulders. It's mine and mine alone" he says, feeling the tears welling in his eyes. But Sam grabs his bag and shots the door behind him. He yelled with all his force, begged him to stay. He opened the door and looked after his brother and yelled
"Sam I know I've been wrong but please stay with me. I need you to stay with me".
Now in the morning sun he realized why he wanted Sam to stay with him, why he needed his brother so much. And it was need, it was more then need and he knew he would get him back no matter what.
Will you be here or will I be alone
Will I be scared,
You'll teach me how to be strong
and if I fall down will you help me carry on,
I cannot do this alone
He didn't what to spend any more time in the crappy motel room, so he went to a bar next to the small motel. He drank his brains out, trying to forget. And it did help a little. On his way back to the motel, he practically started running, he wondered if Sammy could possibly be back. But he wasn't and the night started falling fast and darkness took over the small room. Tears started running down his face. He didn't even care.
Weeks passed and he was on another job somewhere in California. Small kinda town where everybody knows everyone and secrets are hard to keep. Dean knew he was scared and a big part of him wanted his brother back. He wanted so much to feel Sam's hands on him, back as they were before Stanford and before Hell. The hunt wrong, terribly wrong and Dean Winchester ended, yet once again, in the hospital. He knew he had fallen down and he knew it will keep on going like this, blowing up hunts, even simple salt-burn jobs, if his Sammy wasn't going to be there to catch him when it happened. 'I can't do this alone. God! I need you Sammy' he thought, tears running down from closed eye-lids.
I wish that I could turn back time
just to have one more chance to be the man I need to be,
I pray you'll understand
If I could hear your voice I know that I would be okay
I know that I've been wrong but I'm begging you to stay,
won't you stay?
"Dean" he heard the angelic voice calling his name. The beeping of the machines around him stretched the silence even more. "Dean" the most beautiful voice he had ever heard called his name again, and it felt like heaven, like everything had never happened. His eyes flew open and he saw the most beautiful and pure eyes he had ever seen.
"Sammy" he said his voice soar and a bit harsh. "You came back" the smile one his face widened. Sam rolled his eyes and shock his head. "Well yeah you're in the damn hospital and…" he trailed off.
"Sam I'm sorry. I realized that just after you left. And I would give anything to go back to the way I was before, the man I used to be and the man you need me to be. And I thing I can to it. But, Sammy, I need help. I need your help" tears were rolling down his check again. He felt a strong hand on his face, wiping away the hot tears from his chin and some from his neck. Sam was smiling and at that point, Dean knew that those were the words his little brother wanted to hear.
"I thought that you didn't want me with you any more, Dean. You know after you coming back and all that" he closed his mouth looking straight into the deepest of depths that were his brother's green eyes. He lowered his head and pressed his lips soft on Dean's mouth. They pulled apart quick when the nurse came in carrying the good news. Sam drove the Impala, with Dean on the passenger seat. They pulled into the parking lot of the nearest motel. 'King this time' Dean thought this time as he moved to the front desk.
I need your hand to help me make it through again
Nothing compares to how I feel when I look at you
I am not alone I know you're there.
Sam let the bags fall down to the wooden floor. Dean grabbed the collar of his shirt and pushed him into the door. Sam winced a little as his back hit the door but the feeling passed quickly as his brother's mouth was on his. He parted his lips slightly allowing Dean's tongue to slide into his mouth. He put his hands on Dean's waist and towed him to the bed. They collapsed onto the soft sheets and slipped into unconsciousness, if only for a few hours.
"Sammy" Dean breathed as he ran his fingers up and down his brother's soft, warm back. Sam tilted his head a little from Dean's chest to look at his brothers' face. "You don't know what it means to me to wake up every morning and see you there next to me. And you don't know how the whole world stops in place when you look at me and I feel like nothing has ever happened to me, to us when I look at you. And even if I'm alone, I somehow know that you're there with me" he said looking at his brother's face.
In return Sammy kisses his brothers mouth softly and pulls himself closer to his body. And they both sleep peacefully once again.
