The light shining through the cracks in the curtains woke Kyoya out of his restless slumber. He groaned as he opened his eyes and was immediately greeted by the too bright sun. Sitting up in bed, he pressed his palms into his eye as the memories from the previous night flooded his mind.
-Kyoya could barely breath as his heart was pounding. Tamaki's tongue slid across his bottom lip. Two years ago he might have hesitated, but this was so familiar to him now he immediately opened his mouth and allowed Tamaki's entrance. The blond's hand reached behind to grasp at the nape of his neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. Kyoya could think of nothing else aside from Tamaki as the Suoh heir removed the Ootori's glasses, placing them on Kyoya's night table, and pushed him into the mattress. Tamaki's free hand gripped his hip while the one around his neck came to unbutton his shirt. Kyoya felt a stir in his stomach in anticipation of what he knew would come. If anyone knew they did this when they were alone… he didn't like to think about that.
Tamaki pulled away from him abruptly to look into his eyes, and the Ootori boy saw the now familiar sadness settled deep within his violet orbs. Kyoya reached out and caressed his cheek.
"What is it, my love? What has got you so down recently?" Kyoya asked. He pondered the warmth he felt every time he held Tamaki this way. He always considered himself straight and yet more and more when he was in the blonde's presence, he felt this warmth in his chest. He never dwelt on it too much, afraid that if he did he would come to conclusions he didn't like.
Tamaki continued to stare deep into his eyes and reached to cover the hand on his cheek. Kyoya's breath hitched as the hand made contact. 'Ridiculous. Why does he have such an affect on me?' He was paralyzed under that tragic gaze.
"I overheard a conversation recently," Tamaki finally said, sitting up and breaking the silence. Kyoya was forced to drop his hand from his cheek.
"What conversation was that?" Kyoya asked, concern lacing his voice as he moved to mimic Tamaki's sitting position.
"Between Fuyumi and your father." Kyoya felt his eyes widen as he realized what that could mean. Fuyumi was the only person he was positive knew about his and Tamaki's relationship. They had been officially an item for two years but they never told anyone because of who their parents were. Not even the Host Club had caught on yet, although he wondered if that new girl Haruhi didn't suspect something. If Tamaki was sad about a conversation between Fuyumi and his father, then that means Fuyumi must have said something to Father about the true nature of their relationship. He couldn't imagine Father being too angry about it. He was the one who told him to get close to Tamaki using any means necessary. Tamaki probably just thought they would have to break up because they had been found out. Kyoya allowed a soothing smile to adorn his features as he leaned forward to press his lips to Tamaki's in a chaste kiss, hand resting on his shoulder.
"Whatever they were speaking about, it doesn't matter. Nothing will change between us," he responded, smile still in place. Tamaki, however was not appeased as he removed Kyoya's hand from his shoulder, holding it in both hands in his lap instead, his head dropped to look at their entwined hands. Kyoya waited patiently for him to respond when he felt something wet fall to his wrist. He realized Tamaki was crying.
"Tamaki, what were they discussing?" Kyoya asked, thinking if he knew exactly what had upset Tamaki about the conversation, he could better ease his mind over it. Tamaki freed one of his hands to wipe the tears from his eyes.
"It seems your father knows about the two of us. Something about one of the maids walking in on us while we were in the pool house last week," Tamaki began. Kyoya nodded, expecting that his father knew. "He was angry about it. He was yelling about you being with another man and was going off about sending you away to boarding school."
Kyoya was shocked about that. He didn't expect his father to be angry about it. If it had been some nobody boy who he was messing around with, sure. He would expect him to be angry at that. Then again he would never have messed around with a boy unless he had something to gain from it, other than physical release. That would mean he was actually gay. But Tamaki wasn't some nobody. He was the heir to the Suoh fortune. The sole heir. He had plenty to gain from a relationship with him; platonic or romantic. Now he understood why Tamaki was so sad. He was afraid Kyoya would be sent away.
"Tamaki…" he said it softly, bringing his free hand to Tamaki's chin, lifting it up so he could look into his eyes. He saw fresh tears there, waiting to be shed. "Tamaki, I'll talk to my father. I won't let him send me away to boarding school. Nothing is going to change bet-" he was cut off by a hollow laugh coming from Tamaki.
"That's not the end of it!" Tamaki spat, knocking Kyoya's hand away, shocking the brunette. "Your darling sister was already at your defense! There won't be any need for you to go to boarding school, didn't you know?! The only reason you've been fucking me is because your father ordered you to get close to me!" Kyoya was so shocked by Tamaki's outburst he couldn't formulate a response, but Tamaki wasn't finished anyway. He continued, his voice steadily gaining volume. "After a bit of convincing from Fuyumi, your father agreed that with me in love with you, the Ootori family would be able to solidify its connections with the Suoh family, which have always been a little shaky! Is this why you've been with me Kyoya?! Is this what you saw between us when I kissed you two years ago?! Is that the only reason you kissed me back?!" Tamaki was standing now, hands balled into fists at his side. The tears were now flowing freely down his cheeks. Kyoya looked into his eyes, unsure of what to say. Violet eyes were begging him to deny it. He knew if he lied, Tamaki would believe him. But he didn't want to lie anymore. Not to him.
"Yes," came his quiet reply. Kyoya felt a sharp pain in his chest as he realized what this confession would mean for them. A humourless laugh escaped him at the irony. Tamaki look appalled as his whole body deflated. He bowed his head as the heart wrenching sobs escaped him.
"So… t-this whole… t-t-time…?" he managed to choke out.
" No Tamaki. Not the whole time. I have enjoyed our times together. I do love you Tamaki." Kyoya spoke softly. He couldn't believe how honest those words were. How easily he had allowed them to pass his lips. Usually when he told Tamaki he loved him, it was because Tamaki had said it first or he was upset about something. The words always felt so wrong in his mouth. Until now.
"I can't believe this!" Tamaki was angry now. "All this time I thought you actually wanted this with me! We're over Kyoya! I'm not going to allow you to use my family name to gain purchase with your father!" Tamaki turned to head down the steps of Kyoya's loft. A hand grabbing his shirt stopped him and he turned back to look at it then along the arm that extended from Kyoya. Now Kyoya was the one in tears.
"Don't. Do. This." Kyoya always managed to keep his cool, even as the tears were streaming down his face. "Tamaki. Don't go," his voice was barely a whisper. Kyoya stood up and wrapped his arms around Tamaki, burying his face in his neck. He allowed a single agonized sob to escape his throat as he silently begged Tamaki to return the embrace. But Tamaki was a statue against him.
"I love you, Tamaki." Tamaki didn't say a word as he disentangle himself from Kyoya and turned to leave once more. He stopped once he reached the stairs and let out an almost smug laugh. Kyoya looked over to him, tears still steadily falling.
"You know, even if you hadn't wanted anything with me, I still would have befriended you. You could have solidified our family connections, even by just being honest with me."
With that Tamaki descended the staircase and moments later Kyoya heard his bedroom door close behind him. He succumbed to the sobs that had been trying to claw their way out of his throat and sunk to the floor. He felt as if his world had just ended. 'Is this what a broken heart feels like?' There was physical pain in his chest as he finally fully realized what he had been trying to ignore. He was in love with Tamaki. He laughed maniacally at the irony once again. He finally figured it out. He had never allowed himself to think about the warmth Tamaki gave him when he was around, but now that he knew he had lost it, he couldn't stand the thought of not being with Tamaki.-
He groaned and fell back into his bed, staring at the ceiling as new tears silently made their way into his ears, the feeling uncomfortable, but he couldn't muster the motivation to move. He had lost everything he never knew he wanted last night. How could he have been so foolish?
A knock on his door downstairs pulled him from his self pity. He wasn't sure how long he had been laying there but he now looked at the clock to realize it was after noon. He groaned once more as he dragged himself out of bed, rubbing the tears from his eyes as he made his way down the stairs to answer the knocking.
"What is it?" he asked with venom in his voice as he opened the door. He just wanted to be left alone.
"Excuse me, Ootori-sama!" the small maid bowed respectfully, very anxious at having to wake up the notoriously grumpy riser. "Your father sent me to retrieve you. He said it's getting late and he wishes to speak with you before he has to leave for a meeting."
It wasn't unusual for his father to wish to see him on Sundays. In fact they had a standing appointment on the first Sunday of the month to discuss Kyoya's school work and different business endeavors the patriarch thought Kyoya could be useful for; namely getting to know the children of business partners who attend Ouran Academy. It was, however, unusual that his father would have a non-family meeting on a Sunday. He usually took them as days to catch up on family matters and paperwork he was unable to complete during the normal work week. Kyoya decided not to dwell too long on it though.
"Very well. Where is he now?"
"He is in his study waiting for you," she responded, clearly relieved he was at least being reasonable. Kyoya nodded as he dismissed her and shut the door. He changed into a button up with the sleeves cut off and a pair of casual jeans before realizing his glasses weren't where he usually left them before bed. He thought back and remembered when Tamaki had removed them.
-The blond's hand reached behind to grasp at the nape of his neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. Kyoya could think of nothing else aside from Tamaki as the Suoh heir removed the Ootori's glasses, placing them on Kyoya's night table, and pushed him into the mattress. -
He gasped as the memory brought about another ache in his chest, tears threatening to spill once more. 'Fuck! Will I never run dry?' he questioned himself while he climbed the staircase once more. Sure enough there they were, right where Tamaki had left them. Kyoya walked over to the night stand and glared at his blurry glasses. He couldn't move them. Not yet. Not when everything was still so fresh. So with blurry vision, he walked back down the steps and exited his room, thinking to himself the last person who exited this room was Tamaki.
He made his way through his massive home to where his father's study was located. The door to the room was securely closed, as it always was but Kyoya knew his father was in there. He stood in front of, not making any movements. He had an idea of what he wanted to talk about, but he wasn't really sure if he was ready to face him just yet. It wasn't like he really had a choice though. So with a heavy heart, he took a deep breath, and knocked on the heavy oak door.
"Come in."
