So this is just a one-shot. I was listening to trespassers william-lie in the sound and I came up with this.

It is not a song fic I just love that song.

So read away and plz review to let me know what you thought about it.

Mucho luv

Lil devilish kitten

This is it! The feeling I wait for every week. The incredible high that keeps me cold, keeps me wanting more. I revel in the shiver that I get or Goosebumps that make their appearance.

My heart beats faster, almost like it is trying to escape. With the amount of blood pumping throughout my body, I should be warm; but I don't want to be.

I only get this once a week, this chance for an escape. I torture myself with desperation. The need is driving me insane. I can't stop seem to stop. every time I try to walk away somehow I get pulled back in. Why do I let it keep happening? Have I no strength? No will power?

I know that it is not only myself that I am hurting and yet; I don't care. Maybe one day it will all change. I need it to change.

" I need you Bella"

Its always the same. I look into his eyes and I'm drowning, the waves are pulling me in. I can't breath, I try to resist to just walk away; but I can't. He knows it and once again I'm cold.

" I want you Bella"

I want him too, I wish I didn't. I breath, relaxed, as soon as our skin makes contact. I lean it too touch my mouth to his, I know what he is going to do before he does it; he pulls away. It always the same 'never on the mouth'. It hurts but I comply because I need him.

" you feel so good Bella"

He's inside me now, a perfect fit. This is what I wait for. The closeness, the feeling of protection, of being wanted, of being loved. Wishful thinking I know. But while he's thrusting inside on bringing me to completion; I can pretend. I'm so close now, he's bringing me to that perfect high.

"that was great as always Bella"

He is getting dressed now, I try to pull him toward me to make him stay; Just a little while longer before reality sets in. He declines, of course. She is waiting for him. She is having dinner with his family. He is going to be with her, to hold her and kiss her.

I need to end this, the pain is just too much.

" you don't mean that, you still want me Bella"

He is right; I still do want him. I don't know how I'm going to survive the week. I know he is using me and he is never going to want more. In the end, he will be with her and I will be left broken with nothing. Until then I will keep my addiction, the cold I will have my perfect high.

I will endure the torture because even though he doesn't love me back,

I am in love with Emmett McCarty Cullen and as long as he says my name, I will lay in the sound.

" Bella"