He has everything. Friends, good grades, a football scholarship, a girlfriend that loves him, a loving family. Everything. So why does he feel this way?
That he's not good enough. That he'll never be enough. No matter what he does. No matter how many touchdowns his team scores because of him. No matter how much Wendy loves him. And he loves her.
He does love her. Very much. More than he thought he could love anyone. She was perfect. They used to fight when they were kids, but since then they've grown up quite a bit. They can compromise and have few fights. They concede to each other. They make it work because they love each other.
Her and football are everything to him. Of course, he loves his best friend Kyle too. And Kenny, hell even Cartman though he's a monumental dick.
He can't shake the darkness though. It pesters him at night, when he's alone. Sometimes it poisons their time together. Sometimes he'll snap at her for no good reason. He apologizes immediately and hugs her tightly. She worries about him but doesn't confront him, knowing he'll come to her eventually, when he's ready.
He's tired of feeling this way. So tired.
So he decides to do something about it.
He finds the pills easily enough, in the medicine cabinet. Next he raids the alcohol his parents have stashed away.
On a single sheet of notebook paper, he writes, "I'm sorry".
He takes his items to his bed and sits down. He turns on his Xbox One and sets it to Netflix. He pops a handful of pills and takes a swig of the alcohol. He zones out, watching Terrance and Philip reruns. Tossing back more alcohol and pills every episode. Eventually, his eyes won't stay open. He takes another swig of the alcohol. Not bothering with a handful of pills, they're gone anyway, he thinks. With that, he collapses backwards into his pillow.
The next morning, Sharon finds him. She tries to wake him, looking past the bottle. He's stiff and cold. She starts screaming, alerting Randy and Shelly.
"What is it?!" Randy demands, bursting into the room, taking his wife by the shoulders.
"S-stan, h-he's...," she trailed off into sobs, burying her face into his shoulder.
That was when Shelly found the piece of paper. Her eyes widened and she looked away, her eyes welled with tears.
At last, it dawns on Randy and he joins his wife in crying for their dead son. Soon Shelly joins them and they three-way hug as they cry, lamenting his death.
A few weeks pass and the funeral happens. Wendy cries just as much as Sharon, while Randy sits dry-eyed. He seems almost lifeless. Shelly sheds few tears, but is otherwise composed.
Kyle and Kenny cry and hug each other, while Cartman mutters about them being fags while he fights back tears of his own.
He had everything. Everything. Why would he do this? What could drive him to it?
It appeared, Stan was very sick. He had been clinically depressed, it must have come back and no one paid any attention to it because he had everything going for him. And he never mentioned it to anyone.
Maybe if he had, this could have been avoided. Maybe he would still live. Maybe he could have gotten help. Those things aren't to be known however. He died, taking his own life. At only seventeen. Stan Marsh died of an overdose.
