It's when I see the little dark girl with the spear in her stomach that I get a glimpse of just how human I really am. And I don't like the feeling at all.

An inordinately horrid chill runs down my spine as she screams out for the girl; Katniss, but she doesn't know that who she calls for lies bleeding to death not thirty feet away, by my hand, or more specifically, my sword.

"Marvel! Leave, now," I command, and he obeys because he think's I'm going to give the Capitol a show and he knows he doesn't want to be a part of it.

I wait until he's far enough away that I can no longer hear his footsteps before I kneel down by the girl.

It's an instant before I remember her, she was the one who stole my knife and climbed up to the ceiling of the training arena, she was the one who made a fool of me and now she's dying.

She's dying in front of me, and I care.

I already know that a stab to the stomach is one of the most painful injuries that someone can have, but I also know that dying from this type of injury could take hours.

Rue is one of the unlucky ones.

I remember watching her interview and how she stated that her talent was climbing.

She'd said that she was quick and fast, that's why I suggested a net; trap her on the ground and contain her with a net.

She'd managed to get herself out of it, but just wasn't quick enough to get away from Marvel.

He'd been laying in wait for her, just like I told him, while I waited for the 12 girl; Katniss.

Rue was screaming for the girl from 12, screaming more shrill and desperate than I'd heard anyone scream before, and I waited until she'd come crashing through the trees.

I'd jumped down upon her from a tree that she was so fond of climbing, trees betrayed her.

She didn't even see it coming until my sword was in her throat and she was gasping up blood.

She didn't even cry, and I smiled as she desperately tried to staunch the bleeding, but I left her when I heard the little girl's scream become an agonized cry.

"I know you," she says quietly, her breath was so ragged and I didn't know why I was still there; waiting for her to die, "you're the Tribute from 2."

I nod, and then she shudders, I can see a tear fall from her soft brown eyes, I don't even care what people will think of me now as I reach out and touch her young face.

Yes, she was too young to be here, and I almost wish she wasn't. This isn't a challenge, killing her would have only been slaughter.

"And you're Rue," I respond quietly, she leans into my touch and I feel another human chill roll down my spine, "you took my knife."

Her eyes move from the forest canopy above, to my face and she's scared now. Maybe she thinks I'm going to hurt her, and I realize with a jolt that I'm actually not going to harm her.

Enobaria will be wishing death on me right now, that is, if the Capitol hasn't already cut away to watch more blood and gore.

"You knew?" she whispers, and I nod with a laugh, "Clove told me afterwards, she thought it was really funny."

A smile touches her innocent lips and she now stares at me without fear in her face, though she grimaces from the pain.

"Aren't you going to kill me?"

This time I jolt and I look up to the sky for a moment, scrunching my eyes closed while I listen to her shudder and whimper as the pain increases and she nears death.

"No."

There is a long, drawn out silence and I'm forced to look back down, uncharacteristically scared that she's died, but her soft eyes are watering and she's still looking at me.

"Why not?"

I touch her face again, brushing the tears from her cheeks. I didn't even know I was capable of such tenderness, "because you're too young."

"I'm going…. to die anyway," I cringe as her words become stuttered and a challenge for her, "and you like to… to kill people."

I lean down closer to her and she visibly flinches away, my voice is a whisper and I know that they can't pick it up on the recordings, "I'll tell you a secret, if you want. Honestly, Rue, I really don't. But I have to because I must bring pride to my district."

"You don- don't want to kill?" she whispers back, and I noticed she's stopped crying now, for the moment at least.

I shake my head, "not people like you; not people who don't can't fight back. I don't like killing people if they can't fight back."

She nods slowly, her small frame shuddering with each breath, and her eyes are watering again because I think she knows that she's only got a few minutes of her life left.

"Cato," she shudders and her small, bloody fingers find mine and squeeze gently, I can't help squeeze back, "can you… please?"

Our voices are soft and I am still fairly certain that we can't be heard, I frown slightly, "can I what?"

Her eyes close and her bottom lip is quivering, no one has ever affected me like this. I now understand why they tell us to be cold, unfeeling and distant, I understand now but it's too late; I know I'm not leaving this girl.

"I- it hurts so badly, you know how to kill… I know you do… so, p-please can you help me?" the shock must have been evident on my face, because she squeezes my hand harder.

"Are you sure?" I ask, my heart is pounding and I know my eyes are beginning to water. I've never been afraid of killing someone before; I've never actually felt repulsed by the idea of ending someone's life.

"I know you're meant to be really tough, and mean, but-" she coughed and blood dribbles from her lips, I'm clenching my teeth together now because no way I will allow anyone see me shed a tear for a girl I don't know.

Rue is crying again now, her young face so pinched with pain that I feel a pang go through me. She didn't deserve this; she should never have been her.

"Please?" it's soft, nearly inaudible, but I can hear it through the bubble of blood in her throat.

I nod, squeezing her tiny hand again before I gently sit her up, she whimpers and grips my hand with a near inhuman-like strength.

I find myself whispering to her that it will all be okay soon, that I'm sorry I'm hurting her, that I'll take care of her.

Her back is pressed against my chest, and I can't help but think she is so small and innocent, that she should never have been picked.

Why do I have this affection for this one little dark-skinned girl from Eleven? It's so stupid and weak, I know I'm being totally ridiculous and part of me hates it.

I think that maybe I respect her for showing me up at training, for her ability to avoid detection so far.

I rest my chin on her shoulder, it should have been an awkward fit but for the fact that I'd pulled her into my lap.

She's so dainty, even for a 12 year old, I think as my other hand curls around the blade of the knife in my belt.

I loathe to coat my knife in her blood, I'd so rather it hadn't been her that Marvel had speared.

He's clueless when it comes to aim, I know that if it were me it would have done it fast; even I am not so sadistic that I'd want a helpless girl to suffer.

"Cato," she says, she hunched over now, all but spent as a small amount of blood and saliva dribble from her lips, "promise me – promise me something?"

I usually would not have cared about some Tribute's dying wish, but now I nod; "what?"

"When you… when you kill Thresh, he's the boy from my District," she stammers out, and I'm surprised that she will freely admit that it will be me that kills the boy, "don't- make sure- quickly."

Her words are broken, but I know what she means, she doesn't want him to suffer.

And I know I will give her that because there is no part of me that would not want Clove to die painfully.

"I promise," I squeeze her hand again and I'm glad she can't see me because my cold, unfeeling eyes are watering again.

I position my knife in the correct position so it will slide up between her ribs and I've never felt so sickened to hurt another person, "I don't want you to win," she whispers, her whole body is shaking.

"I know," and I slide my knife into her back easily, and hold it there until I feel her grip on my hand loosen.

Her breath ebbs to a stop and the canon fires, and I realize I'm crying for her and wrap the hand with the blood-covered knife around her, I don't want to let go of her hand just yet.

I look down, shielding my face from the cameras that are waiting to see District 2's bloody, brutal leader fall.

I won't give them that.

Resting her body on the grass, I have the decency to cover her wound with her jacket. I say sorry to her, but only in my mind.

I've already shown too much of myself, I've already made myself vulnerable, the sponsors will be dropping like flies.

Despite this, I stand and watch as they take her body away, her hand is stretched out and blood is dripping off the tiny fingers.

"Bye, Rue," I say under my breath, and wipe her guiltless blood off my hands.

"You're weak, Cato," its Marvel that's behind me, I suspect he's never left. Now he's laughing at me, blissfully unaware of how stupid a mistake that is, "you are pathetic and there is no way you can be our leader now."

I turn to him, my face dry and my eyes unfeeling as I walk towards him and stare directly down at him until I see him quiver.

Then almost a minute later his head severed hits the ground, and his collapses at my feet.

I look once more to the spot where Rue died in my arms then use Marvel's shirt to clean my sword.

Only as I'm walking back to camp do I realize that my knife is still tucked in Rue's jacket and I'm smiling because even in death she's still taken my knife.

Only this time, I'm not angry.


Authors Note:
What even is this?
I'm sorry, I just had Cato and Rue feels.