20 Methods to Annoy and Ignore Suzushiro Haruka

Here's a fic I created just to be blunt about our favorite goldilocks from Mai-Hime. I know I don't like her much in the series of how she feels about Shizuru and what she did to her later on, but I just had to experiment on ways to torment the blonde in a funny way. So please don't flame me, Haruka fans, I just want to try something funny in this one!

Disclaimer: I don't own Mai Hime. They belong to Sunrise, but if I did then I would have Shizuru all to myself and have her "make special friends" with other girls from other anime(Hehehe!). Plus, I don't own anything else mentioned that are not MH-related, like Star Wars, Halo, Gears of War and others.

Tell Haruka that she forgot to set the alarm clock at the exact time to wake up before sleeping. That's why she's mostly late for school even though she's absentminded of everything around her.

Let her know that Fujino "Bubuzuke" Shizuru will always stay number one on top and she'll always be second best.

Ask her if she's really attractive to Shizuru personally. That way, the chestnut-haired will be having lustful rides of herself at night thinking of her passionately, even a picture of Haruka herself besides Natsuki.

Since Haruka's homophobic(as far as I think), terrorize her with dirty lesbian jokes and put on a puppet show of two anime girl figures having exhibition oral sex in front of her. That way, she'll faint from the fallout of it.

Tell Haruka she's the great descendant of Napoleon Bonaparte because they both have loud inflated egos.

Go to Haruka's mansion in the evening. Sneak inside her room quietly and put a lot of used bubblegum all over her goldilocks hair while she's asleep.

And addition of her being asleep, pull out a sharpie black marker and draw cute animal features on her sleepy face, maybe even a panda one on her.

Tell Haruka she needs to take classes from preschool to high school again because of her lousy mispronounced vocabulary even though she thinks she said those words correctly. Okay, maybe even have her take her alphabets for her to start.

While inside the student council room and nobody is there, quickly put dirty strands of cat and dog hair in her tea. Once she comes back and drinks it during break, wait until she yells out in horror of the smell of the tea of said "ingredients" you already put in.

Let Haruka know that if she keeps being a total, ignorant jerk that she is, her voice will change to Darth Vader one day.

Shout at her from afar saying, "You'll always be second best."

Whenever you see portraits of Haruka in her mansion, paint weird expressions and animal ones like you did in method #6.

If Haruka thinks of what she saw in that rock garden house where she assumed of what Shizuru did to Natsuki that night, tell her it was either someone who exactly looks like Shizuru or that her brain was made out of lego blocks.

If she ever is in your face or storms your personal business, be ready to load up tranquilizers in your pistol. They might come in handy shooting those at her, that way she'll shut up and will fall asleep very quickly for 10 hours.

Play Scottish bagpipes very loudly outside her mansion to wake her up very quickly to get to class just in case she doesn't have her alarm clock ready to sound off.

Get Master Chief to intimidate her by having him use live ammunition and shooting them beside her face. That way, he's proven himself that he's not scared of some arrogant, whiny goldilocks.

Get Marcus Fenix to intimidate her with said procedure just like Master Chief's.

Let Haruka know that Yukino is going out with Shizuru, and that she likes Shizuru more than her annoying self.

Also let Haruka know that Shizuru is always better than her and that the kaichou will have Yukino all to herself.

And finally, when Haruka walks around the hallways afterschool, and if she's walking alone get a paper and write, "I eat raw rat's hair sashimi with horse urine for breakfast ,lunch and dinner" in kanji. That way, she'll not only get snickers but lots of laughs of everyone around the campus wherever she walks with said paper on her back without knowing it.

Omake:

Haruka: "HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME WITH THOSE DISGUSTING WAYS?! I never liked bubuzuke, not even an eternity!!

Corporalredhound: "For being a total jerk that you are. And yes, you really have the hots for her!

Haruka: "Hmph, you are wrong I'm not a lesbian and you are the jerk around here being all so assertive of what you think of me. I am the great Suzushiro Haruka and I'll never be number 2 to any-

Corporalredhound takes out tape and rope to tie up Haruka. Haruka is now trap of said tape and rope.

Corporalredhound: Shut your trap goldilocks, and go to sleep.

Corporalredhound pulls out pistol and shoots sedatives on Haruka putting her to sleep.

A/N: That was a funny nice fic, isn't it? I hope you enjoyed this guilty pleasure of a fic making fun of our beloved arrogant blonde that is Suzushiro Haruka! Please R&R and thanks!