Author's Note: Hey guys, Ahsoka here! Since I'm in a humorous mood today, I'm gonna do something a little different. I'm gonna write my first trollfic that's my first posted Legend of Zelda fanfic. This is just to poke fun at all the trollfics and unintentionally bad stories I've read on . Just to let you guys know, this story is NOT to be taken seriously at all. So just have fun reading, and enjoy... prepz. By the way, I DO NOT own Zelda.
author's note: i luv da legend of zelda games, so i desided to write mi own zelda fanfic. fangs to DaFeaturedCreature for helping me with da story and spelling. U rock. And NO! I'm NOT ripping off tara gilesbian! FUK u!
Link (author's note: NOT ZELDA, RETARDS!) wuz sleeping on da bed in his kokori house until teh alarm clock rang, saying "WAKE THE FUCK UP, YOU LITTLE SHIT!" the ten year old boy immediately smashed the fuckin' thing with his fist, but he hurt hisssself cuz he was a pussy.
"FUCK!1111" yelled Link as he crlotched his bokken hand. he then got up and stretched, but strechgde too hard and broke his back. "DOUBLE FUCK!111111111" he yelled and fell over in pain.
a bug then came up to him and bit him on da nose. "TRIPLE FUCK!111111eleven1111111"
link yelled again. chuck norris then came out of no where and kicked him in the balls and walked back out of the story.
"QUADRUPLE FUCK!!" da hero of time shouted. "NAVI! Navi, get me some red potion! I'm dying!" he groaned in pain on teh floor. even though he was da hero of hyrule, he was a kid again, so he sucked ass now. eventhough he was in a kick-ass sequel, Majora's Mask, which was better than Ocarina of Time (author's note: IN YO FACE, OOT FANBOYS!), he still was a small boy who had to constantly avoid pedos and shit.
then navi float to link, carrying a big-ass potion bottle which was more like a jar (author's note: seriously, why do thay call it dat? it's looks more like a jar! is miyamoto high?)
navi looked very slutty for some reason. maybe becuz she kept fucking da great deku tree. you're probably wondering 'why navi is there if she disappeared at da end of Ocarina of Time?' I don't know, FUCK CONTINUITY.
"stop being a wuss" said navi, giving da potion to linkara, who den said "fangs, navi. ur so goffic!"
link drank the potion and was now better. da widdle hero got up, scratching his ass and walked out of his tree house. he was about to climb da ladder when he realized dat it was missing and he fell down.
"din dammit!" da hylian yelled (authors note: what's hylian mean amyway? dat sounds like fuking a soft drink!) but was not hert. he walked cheerfully to mido, who was some asshole who because he becane a asshoe (author's note: c is dat redundant?) when his fairy (author's note: ew not in dat way) was raped by a deku scrub.
"hi, mido" sed link said in a gay accent.
"go fuck yourself, link" replyd da assholic mido. he was smoking a cigar. (author's note: what? u didn't know dey had cigars in hyrule? lol, ur so dumb.)
"mido, you wanna play hide and seek?" said link
"fuck you, link." shouted mido
den navi flew to link, yelled "hey listen hey listen hey listen!" but link got a gun and shot da fairy in da face, killling dat meen bitch. "i always hated dat fairy" said link in a arnold schwartzeneggar accent. eventhough link sucked, he was also sometimes a badass mother fucker.
mido got scared and ran away like a chicken!
author's note: wuz dat exiting? please review! if you flame, ur a prep!
Well, that's my first trollfic. I hope it's bad enough.
