This story was written for my best friend, Len, and is dedicated to him.
I could not have written it without the help of the Harry Potter Lexicon and the music of Queen. I also apologize to Gene and Paul. You guys still rock; it's a generation thing.
Well, I told you I wasn't a teenager!
A Kind of Magic
Chapter One
"Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad! I'm off to Antarctica," Kim Possible called to her parents.
"Bye, honey, have fun!" Mrs. Dr. Possible called back. "Behave yourself."
"You be home by ten, Kimmie-Cub," Mr. Dr. Possible reminded his daughter. "It's a school night, you know."
"No, dear, school let out two months ago," Mrs. Dr. Possible corrected him. "July is almost over."
Mr. Dr. Possible frowned. "Already?" He turned to Kim. "I still want you home before eleven. And no messing around with any boys!"
Kim squirmed uncomfortably. "Dad, I'm going to Little America to rescue a stranded explorer. He wandered away from camp and you know it's winter down there."
"Be sure you dress warmly, Kimmie," Mrs. Dr. Possible instructed. "We don't want you coming down with frostbite now."
"I can't believe it's July!" Mr. Dr.. Possible complained. "Time sure flies when you're having fun in the aerospace industry." He looked imploringly at his wife. "Are you sure it's not still June?"
Mrs. Dr. Possible smiled. "No, darling, that was last month. Don't you remember the twins built you that super MP3 player for Father's Day?"
"And I got you the Queen CDs to play on it," Kim added.
Mr. Dr. Possible grinned. "How could I forget? What a great group! Did I tell you that Brian May actually built his own guitar? The guitar he plays on all those albums?"
"YES!" Kim and her mother chorused. "Only about a million times, Dad," Kim put in.
"Now that's what I call real music!" Mr. Dr. Possible declared. He began to sing loudly, "Toni-i-ight, gonna have myself a good time -"
Kim winced. "Gotta go, Mom. Ron's dad is driving us to the airport and then the Air Force is flying us down to Antarctica. I'll be home as soon as I can."
Mrs. Dr. Possible kissed Kim on the cheek. "Be careful, dear."
"So Don't - Stop - Me Now! Don't - Stop - Me" Mr. Dr. Possible warbled happily, "Cause I'm havin' a good time, havin' a good time!"
Kim watched her father strutting around the kitchen and rolled her eyes. "Don't worry about me, Mom! Um, are you sure you're gonna be okay with Freddie Mercury here?"
Mrs. Dr. Possible smiled indulgently. "Of course, honey, I'll be just fine. There's Ron and Mr. Stoppable now. You don't want to keep the Air Force waiting."
"Nope, sure don't. Bye, Mom!" Kim kissed Mrs. Dr. Possible and glanced dubiously at Mr. Dr. Possible. "Uh, tell Dad I said bye."
"I'm travellin' at the speed of light!" Mr. Dr. Possible yodelled into the mop handle. "That's why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit!" He tossed the mop aside and swept Mrs. Dr. Possible into his arms. "I'm gonna make a supersonic woman of you!"
Kim hurried out of the house and out to the car where Ron Stoppable and his dad were waiting. "Oooh, that is so gross!"
"Not the Queen thing again?" Ron asked sympathetically. "KP, I really do feel for you!"
"Uh-huh, uh-huh," Rufus, Ron's naked mole rat, agreed.
"So do I," Mr. Stoppable put in. "Now, me, I was always a KISS man myself."
Kim raised an eyebrow. "Kiss?"
Ron groaned heavily. "You don't wanna know!"
Mr. Stoppable raised his fist. "You WANTED the best, you GOT the best! The HOTTEST band in the world - KISS!" He backed out of the Possible driveway at warp speed.
"Not another 70's band?" Kim said to Ron, who was cowering in the front seat.
Ron shook his head. "You think you got it so bad? At least Freddie Mercury passed on. Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley are still alive and ruining my life every time they decide to put that goofy makeup back on!"
Rufus nodded emphatically. "Ruining our lives."
"You got to have a party!" Mr. Stoppable bellowed, only slightly off key.
"I wonder if the groups we listen to now will be this uncool when we have kids," Kim mused thoughtfully.
"SHOUT IT! SHOUT IT! SHOUT IT OUT LOUD!" Mr. Stoppable belted out, pumping his fist in time to the tune. The people inside the car in the next lane stared at him. Ron and Rufus tried to duck out of sight. Only Rufus succeeded.
"Like - NO!" Ron moaned. "No way any of the good stuff we listen to will ever be as lame and - and as totally sick as KISS is!"
Rufus clamped his paws tightly over his ears. "Totally sick!"
Kim sat back in her seat. "Somehow, I can hardly wait to get to Antarctica."
"Oh, this is too easy! Why didn't I think of it a long time ago?" Dr. Drakken chortled
His associate, Shego, looked up from filing her nails. "Maybe because you didn't think of it at all?" she suggested in an acid tone. "The whole thing was my idea, not yours!"
"Well, what difference does that make?" Drakken snapped.
"Because whenever there's a good idea around here, you can bet I'm the one that thought it up and you're the one trying to hog all the credit!" Shego flung back at him.
Dr. Drakken shook with rage. "Liar, liar, pants on fire!"
"I wish," Shego snarled. "I can't even feel my backside any more. And speaking of being a hog, when is it gonna be my turn to stand in front of the stove?"
The (not) good Doctor sniffed loudly. "When I'm through warming myself!"
Shego rolled her eyes. "Oh, of course! And is that going to be any time this century?"
Drakken edged closer to the heat. "Why didn't you think of that before you insisted that we come here to Antarctica, Miss Know-It-All?"
"Ah-HA! You admit it was my idea then!" Shego riposted.
Dr. Drakken scowled. "Well, I don't see why we couldn't have lured Kim Possible some place warmer! Say, for instance - Disneyland?"
Shego sighed. "Now - we've already gone over this once."
"Oh, all right! How about Orlando or Miami Beach?" Drakken growled.
"You DON'T drop everything and race to rescue someone in Miami Beach!" Shego exploded. "It's sunny and ninety-eight degrees in Miami Beach!"
"Sounds like a good reason to me," Dr. Drakken pouted.
Shego clenched her fists until they glowed a nasty shade of lime. "Augh! You come to Antarctica to rescue someone because there's nothing but ice and you don't want them to freeze! And there's no one else around! That way, if it turns out to be a trap - which this is - there's no one to come save your butt! Now do you get it?"
"I got it, I got it!" Drakken glowered.
"Good! Cause when Kim Possible comes here to rescue that explorer that wandered off, that's what's going to happen!" Shego raged. "Now are we on the same page?"
"Fine, fine, have it all your way, then!" Drakken sulked. "Just don't blame me if Kim Possible doesn't show up!"
"Oh, she'll be here, all right," Shego promised. "You see, that's the beauty of my plan, Kim Possible won't dare ignore a plea for help on her web site. She'll come running down here to save the day - and when she does, we've got her! There's no one to come to her aid down here but a bunch of stupid penguins! It's absolutely perfect!"
"I see," Dr. Drakken replied dryly. "So, if you really do capture Kim Possible, you're going to be absolutely unbearable to be around, aren't you?'
"You had better believe it!" Shego bragged. "Okay, so I won't be as obnoxious as you probably would be if you managed to pull something this big off - which you couldn't do in a million, trillion years - but..."
"SHEGO!" Drakken interrupted sharply. "Let's save some gloating for when we actually have Kim Possible in our power, shall we?"
A green light began to flash on the computer monitor. Shego punched a button and tapped a few keys. "Well, look who's here - right on time too." She pointed at the image of Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable that was on the screen,
Drakken raised an eyebrow. "Mmf. I see she's still got whatsisname tagging along after her, as usual. I don't understand what she sees in him."
"Oh, please! Whatsisname is nothing - he's not even decent penguin food!" Shego declared. "If he wasn't so much fun to torture, I'd just let him freeze."
"He is a buffoon," Drakken agreed. "But do you think there's a chance he could escape and rescue Kim Possible?"
Shego frowned. "Have you lost your mind? I doubt he can tie his own shoelaces! But just to make sure, we'll get him too. Now get ready!"
Far below Drakken's flying hideout, Kim and Ron were trudging through the snow. Ron's teeth chattered so hard he could hardly speak. "K-K-K-KP, I d-don't see any b-base camp a-a-around h-here."
"Neither do I," Kim replied. She looked around her and then raised her Kimmunicator. "Wade, there's nothing here at all except a lot of ice and snow. Not even penguins, Are you sure these are the coordinates for the base camp that were posted on the web site?"
Wade looked anxiously back from the screen. "Positive. I double-checked three times, but I'll scan the area once more."
"Aw, man, I hope this hasn't been just one wild goose chase," Kim moaned. "Not after we had to get President Bush to order out the Air Force to get us down here!"
"M-M-Me, too!" Ron shivered. "Cause I th-think th-this wimpy f-four alarm t-taco sauce in m-m-my p-pockets has a-already f-f-frozen s-s-solid. T-t-told that g-g-guy at B-B-Bueno N-N-acho I needed the d-d-d-diablo sauce, but n-nooo!."
There was a loud, rude burp from inside Ron's pocket. Kim wrinkled her nose. "I don't think your sauce has frozen, Ron. It sounds more like Rufus drank it all."
"Kim! There's a large object hovering directly over you!" Wade cried anxiously.
"What? That can't be the base camp!" Kim exclaimed.
"It's not," Wade began. "It's -"
"Kim, look out!" Ron screamed. "HELP!"
The snow flew up in clouds around them as Kim and Ron were caught up in a large net and pulled up toward Drakken's lair. The sudden jerk of the net caused Kim to lose her grip on the Kimmunicator. At the same time, Rufus was shaken out of Ron's jacket pocket. Both of them fell into the snow as Kim and Ron were helplessly drawn upward.
"HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!" Ron screeched at the top of his lungs. "HELP! HELP!"
"There's no use screaming at a time like this!" Kim called. "Nobody will hear you!"
"You are so right, Kim Possible!" Dr. Drakken grinned horribly as the net brought them into his lair. "That's the beauty of my evil scheme, you see!"
Shego cleared her throat loudly. "Whose evil scheme is it?"
"That doesn't matter now!" Drakken blustered. "What matters is that we have finally captured Kim Possible and - and - whatsisname."
"Ron Stoppable!" Ron yelled at his foe. "The name is Ron Stoppable! You can never remember that!"
Drakken chuckled in a nasty way. "I won't have to now."
"Ooh, don't like the sound of that," Ron muttered to Kim.
Rufus sat up and felt himself to make sure no bones were broken. Somewhere off to his right, he could hear Wade shouting frantically, "Kim! Come in, Kim! What's the sitch?"
The naked mole rat shivered the snow off and ran over to the Kimmunicator. "Big net! WHOOSH!" He jerked his paw upwards.
"Kim and Ron were captured by a big net? Rufus, we are in major trouble!" Wade cried.
Rufus shuddered in the frigid air. "You're telling me?"
"That lair flying overhead belongs to Dr. Drakken," Wade explained. "He's got Kim and Ron and there's no one within miles that can help them!"
"Harry Potter!" Rufus shot back.
"Harry Potter? You mean that English guy Kim met in Devon last summer?" Wade asked. "Wait, what can he do?"
Rufus huffed impatiently. He and Kim knew the truth - that Harry Potter was one of Great Britain's most accomplished wizards. Harry and Kim had teamed up last summer to save Ron Stoppable from being blown up by Osama bin Laden. No one outside the Wizarding World was supposed to know that Harry had magical powers, and Rufus didn't have time to explain it to Wade. He scowled at the screen of the Kimmunicator and crossed his paws over his chest. "Harry Potter!" he repeated firmly.
Wade shrugged. "Okay, okay, I'll see if I can track him down." He began typing data into his computer. "But - he's all the way up in Britain! Isn't there anyone closer here to Antarctica we can get?"
Rufus took a deep breath and shrilled at the Kimmunicator, "GET HARRY POTTER!"
"Yes, sir!" Wade keyed data frantically. "Getting Harry Potter! Right away, sir!" While he worked, Rufus paced up and down frantically, muttering to himself.
CHAPTER 2
While Rufus and Wade were searching for him, Harry Potter was sound asleep in a rather narrow and rickety bed in one of the cramped bedrooms at Millstone Manor.
Like most of the furniture in the old Tudor house, the bed had seen better days back when the first Elizabeth was queen. It had been built to last, but it had not been designed for someone as tall as Harry; it had taken him several minutes to scrunch himself into a halfway comfortable position. Ron Weasley, who was kipping in the other bed, had simply thrown himself in and gone to sleep with his feet sticking out over the footboard.
Harry and Ron had spent most of the day helping Hermione and her grandfather, Mr. Ernest Grainger, clean out musty old Millstone Manor. As it had sat empty for some time before Mr. Grainger's employer, Young Mr. Grace, had bought it, it was no small chore to tackle. Harry and Ron were too tired to be fussy over sleeping accommodations.
This was why Mr. Grace had cleverly suggested that Mr. Grainger bring his charming, young, able-bodied granddaughter and her friends up to Yorkshire for what he whimsically termed "a camping trip". Mr. Grace would cover all expenses and in addition pay Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny, Ron's younger sister, the princely sum of ten pounds each.
As usual, the wily Young Mr. Grace (who was ninety if he was a day) knew exactly what he was about. Hermione was bound to stick by her grandfather and Mr. Grainger was an old and loyal employee of Grace Brothers Department Store. Ron and Ginny were anxious to earn some money and to get clear of the frequent rows Mrs. Weasley had been having all summer with Fred and George over returning to Hogwarts. As for Harry himself, he'd have scrubbed Azkaban Prison to escape from the Dursleys.
Besides, Harry really liked tubby, earnest little Mr. Grainger. Hermione's grandfather adored and was almost sinfully proud of her/ His greatest joy, aside from being Senior Salesman on the Gentlemen's Ready-to-Wear counter, was to create treats for Hermione and her friends. So none of them were in the least adverse to helping Mr. Grainger.
Then their benefactor had decided at the last minute to have the group driven up to Yorkshire in one of his fleet of cars. And as a final flourish of elegance, Young Mr. Grace assigned young Mr. Lucas, the Junior Salesman on the Men's Counter, to act as chauffeur.
This last amenity made Mr. Grainger rather nervous. He didn't mind leaving his department in the capable care of Mr. Humphries. He was also well acquainted with Mr. Lucas' lack of character. That didn't bother Mr. Grainger; he had worked with the "boy" and was accustomed to it. But there was no getting around the fact that Mr. Lucas, however amorally charming and somewhat useful he might be, was a Muggle.
"We'll have to be ever so careful," Mr. Grainger warned his charges as they stood in the lobby waiting for Mr. Lucas to bring the car around. "Not a word about the Wizarding World in front of him. Your parents would never trust me to take you out again!"
"It's all right, Granddad," Hermione tried to comfort him. "We'll be fine. After all, it's not as if we can work magic during the holidays anyway. We just have to act like ordinary Muggles for a week."
"Easy for you to say," Ron muttered glumly.
"But - we won't even be able to discuss Quidditch!" Mr. Grainger wailed. Harry, Ron and Ginny all played on Gryffindor's house team at school, and although he wasn't able to attend games, Mr. Grainger was one of their biggest supporters.
"There's plenty of time before the summer ends," Ginny told him encouragingly. "We'll still be able to have our chat."
"I suppose so," Mr. Grainger sighed. "We'll have to keep a close eye on each other so none of us lets anything slip."
"We'll be careful," Harry promised. "Don't worry, Mr. Grainger."
Ron was standing at the window and now he motioned them all over excitedly. "Blimey! You've got to come see this! A motorcar as big as a ruddy dragon!"
Harry, Hermione, Ginny and Mr. Grainger all rushed over to watch Mr. Lucas proudly pull up in a 1930 Phantom III that had been painted the bright color of a sherbert lemon. The Silver Lady gleamed brightly on top of the radiator and the chrome glistened. None of them had ever seen anything remotely like this shiny yellow Rolls-Royce.
"Is that a real auto?" Ginny breathed.
"Surely we're not riding in that?" Hermione gasped incredulously.
Mr. Lucas swung himself out of the front seat and gave the window a snappy salute. He was wearing a traditional chauffeur's cap, a sport shirt and jeans, and an ear to ear grin.
"I - er - it looks like it," Mr. Grainger stammered. He was so utterly gob-smacked he forgot to correct Ron's reference to dragons.
Harry and Ron looked at each other, unable to believe their good fortune. "Excellent!" they said together.
Young Mr. Grace, who had just tottered into the lobby behind them, chuckled. "So, you like my Rolls, eh? As sound as the day she was made!"
"It's absolutely bloody brilliant!" Ron said fervently. Harry nodded in agreement.
Mr. Grace nodded, although he wasn't quite sure what that meant. "And do you young ladies approve as well?" he inquired.
"It's gorgeous!" Ginny said reverently.
""I've never seen anything like it before in my life," Hermione exclaimed.
Young Mr. Grace sighed nostalgically. "They stopped making cars like that long before you were even thought of, my dear. Before your parents were born. I dare say that car is older than all your ages combined." He glanced over at Mr. Grainger. "Eh, sonny?"
Mr. Grainger managed to tear his eyes away from the splendor of the yellow Rolls. "Er - ah - are you sure you want us to use this car, sir?"
"And why not?" Mr. Grace snapped. "It's only a 1930 red monogrammed Phantom III. Should be plenty of room for all your cases. And for yourselves. Not like these dinky wee sports car things where you have to sit on each others' laps." He winked at Harry and Ron.
Mr. Grainger made up his mind very quickly. "It - it's very kind of you, Mr. Grace, sir."
Mr. Grace waved this aside. "Yes, well, I do have my moments. Come along now! You'd best get a move on now, or you won't reach Yorkshire before dark." He herded everyone out to the side of the yellow Rolls-Royce.
Mr. Lucas blithely whistled as he loaded everyone's bags into the Rolls' capacious boot. "Roll up, roll up, roll up!" he caroled. "Step roight this way! Plenty of room 'ere in this baby!" Mr. Grainger established himself, Hermione and Ginny back in the tonneau, leaving Ron and Harry to sit up front with Mr. Lucas.
Mr. Grace came round to the driver's seat. "Mind how you go now. Call me when you get there - should be a phone at the farm." He lowered his voice, "And don't forget what we talked about now, Lucas."
Mr. Lucas touched the brim of his cap. "You can count on me, sir!" Then before Harry or Ron could ask any questions, he called into the speaking tube in an affected voice, "Are m'lords and m'ladies prepared to get under way?"
Hermione reached over and lifted the telephone beside her that the tube was connected to. "Drive on, Lucas!" she ordered in a posh accent.
Mr. Lucas started the motor and pulled smoothly out into traffic. Young Mr. Grace waved his cane and called, "Good bye! Have a good trip! You've all done very well!"
The passengers in the yellow Rolls-Royce all looked back, waved at their benefactor and chorused "Thank you, Mr. Grace!"
The trip to Yorkshire went by effortlessly, thanks to Mr. Lucas' skillful handling of the yellow Rolls. Heads turned all the way from Barnet to Harrogate.
There were still a few hours of daylight left when they pulled up the steep drive of Millstone Manor. "Made hit with toime t'spare," Mr. Lucas remarked. He patted the dashboard affectionately as he guided the Rolls into what had been the stables. "Got th' keys t'th' 'ouse there, Mr. Grainger?"
"Er, ah, yes, yes," Mr. Grainger muttered sleepily. He fished the big old fashioned key out of his pocket and handed it to Hermione. "That should open the front door. You girls run ahead and let us in and we'll follow with the luggage."
"Perhaps you'd better go too, just in case," Mr. Lucas advised. "We can 'andle th' bags, can't we, mates?"
"Sure we can," Harry replied. "Come on, Ron."
They unloaded the boot while Mr. Lucas sang the Rolls-Royce's praises. "Runs a fair treat, she does. Won't none o' yer cars today go like this one seventy years on."
Ron stroked the bright paint covetously. "Wish there was a chance we could drive it,"
"Well, yer never can tell, can yer?" Mr. Lucas said mysteriously.
Harry and Ron nearly dropped the suitcases they were carrying. "Are you serious?" Harry demanded.
Before Mr. Lucas could answer, Ginny burst into the stable. "Someone's broken into the house!" she cried breathlessly. "The glass window in the front door's been shattered!"
Mr. Lucas snatched up a tire iron out of the boot with one hand and grabbed a pitchfork off the wall with the other. "Get Mr. Grainger a glass o' water!" he directed a startled Ginny. Then Mr. Lucas took off toward the house with Harry and Ron on his heels.
They found Hermione and Mr. Grainger gaping at the smashed front door. There was a peculiar sickly-sweet odor hanging in the air. "Is someone still in there?" Harry asked,
Hermione shook her head. "We're not about to go in to see."
"It could be dangerous. We need to find that farm Mr. Grace mentioned and ring for the police," Mr. Grainger insisted.
Mr. Lucas had other ideas. He brandished his pitchfork wildly and shouted, "F'r England, Grace Brothers an' Miss Brahms!" And before anyone could stop him, he charged in.
Harry and Ron were quick to try and follow, but Mr. Grainger had recovered his wits and he pulled them back, hissing, "Don't you dare go in there!"
Ginny returned with a glass of water and a fresh-faced young lady carrying a shovel. "This is Mavis Moulterd. She and her dad run the farm," Ginny introduced her to the others.
"What's seems t'be amiss here?" Mavis asked anxiously. She stopped short and stared at the ruined door. "Oh, dear! What a arful mess!"
"It gets worse," Hermione promised grimly. "Mr. Lucas went inside."
Mavis looked around uncertainly. "Perhaps I'd best go an' fetch me dad."
"That's not necessary," Mr. Lucas called out. "Everything's - ugh! - under control now."
Mr. Grainger took the water from Ginny and gulped it. "Mr. Lucas, you come out of that!" he ordered in a no-nonsense tone.
"Roight then - you lot get back from that door or you'll be ruddy sorry!" The fetid odor got stronger and Mr. Lucas came out with the remains of something that smelled extremely dead on the end of his pitchfork. Everyone automatically fell back several paces and covered their noses.
"Ooh, what is yon horrible thing?" Mavis inquired through her cupped hands.
"Bird," was all Mr. Lucas had breath to say. He plucked the shovel out of Mavis' hand and stalked back to the stable yards.
Ron reached in and unlocked the front door. "We'd better open all the windows or we bloody well won't be sleeping in this place tonight."
Harry wrinkled his nose. "Too right." The four teenagers got busy while Mr. Grainger picked up the tire iron that Mr. Lucas had left on the hall floor.
Mavis wandered in after them, looking rather lost without her shovel. "Would tha' be stayin' here t'night then?"
"Yes, Young Mr. Grace is very kindly letting us camp at Millstone Manor for a week," Mr. Grainger informed her.
"He mun be th' new owner," Mavis mused. "Oh, look, mirror's broke." She lifted it down off the wall and studied the cobwebby cracks. "That's turrible bad luck for summun."
"Bad luck for the bird," Hermione retorted. "I expect seeing itself in that mirror's what made it fly through the glass."
"That's where tha' be wrong, missy!" a new voice grated. A short, dumpy man wearing a outfit that looked like it had come right off a scarecrow stumped in. "That be th' worsest bad omen t'is, that be."
Mr. Grainger surveyed the new arrival over the top of his glasses. "I beg your pardon?"
"This is me dad, Maurice Moulterd," Mavis introduced him to the group.
Mr. Moulterd threw out his chest. "That's who I be all right!" He leaned forward belligerently and leered in a most unpleasant way. "Who be all o' tha' then?"
Harry spoke up first. "I'm Harry Potter. Nice to meet you, Mr. Moulterd,"
"I'm Ron Weasley and this is my sister, Ginny," Ron added, laying a protective hand on Ginny's shoulder. She looked over at him in surprise.
Mr. Grainger drew himself up to his full 5'5" and gave Mr. Moulterd the stare he usually reserved for his worst rows with Mrs. Slocombe, the head of the Ladies' Department. "I am Mr. Ernest Grainger, Senior Salesman at Grace Brothers Department Store. This is my granddaughter, Hermione, and these are her friends. Young Mr. Grace himself has given permission for us to spend a week here at Millstone Manor."
Mr. Moulterd peered at them dubiously. "Tha' mean t'spend th' night in here? T'night?"
"Of course. Did I not just say so?" Mr. Grainger snapped.
Hermione reached over and took the tire iron her granddad was twirling wrathfully. "Is there anything to prevent us staying in the house, Mr. Moulterd?"
Mr. Moulterd shook his heavy head under his absurd hat. "Nay, nowt if that be what tha' fancies. But tha' shouldn't jest th' same, miss!"
"An' just where was yer hexpectin' us t'sleep, eh?" Mr. Lucas put down the luggage he had brought in and stepped up to Mr. Grainger's other side.
Mr. Moulterd wilted a bit under Mr. Lucas' scornful glare. "Tha' doesn't know 'bout sech. A broke mirror's t'wust kinda bad omen t'is an' so's a burd dyin' insoide th' house -"
But Mr. Lucas had as much patience as Hermione with that sort of talk. He cut Mr. Moulterd off by declaring, "Then may Oi suggest that th' mirror would not 'ave been broken if you'd been keepin' yer end up an' not lettin' birds fly in 'ere t'die!"
Mr. Moulterd bristled angrily "Eh! Does tha' durst t'say sech t'me? Tha' young divvil!"
"That tisn't true, 'tis not!" Mavis defended her father. "We looks after th' farm, we does an' we've had ever s'much t'do with't bein' haying weather. It slipped Dad's mind 'cause - 'cause I didn't remind him!"
Ginny shook Ron off and stepped into the midst of the battlefield. "It wasn't anyone's fault, really. The mirror shouldn't have been put there by the door, that's all."
"I suppose we can overlook it this time," Mr. Grainger conceded. He looked up at Mr. Lucas. "Perhaps you can find something out in the stable to nail over the broken glass."
Mr. Lucas nodded. "Th' lads an' Oi can go into town and get a new pane tomorrow."
"Then there's no real harm done, is there?" Ginny said reasonably.
Mr. Moulterd spoke up before Mavis could stop him. "Tha mark m'wurds - there's turrible trubble a'comin'! Tha needn't scoff - I knows all th' soigns for it, I does."
Mavis plucked at his sleeve. "Tha' munnot talk so, Dad! Th' new owner'll hear 'bout tha' for sure. We'll be turned off, Dad!" She looked ready to cry.
"Of course not," Hermione assured her. "But you know this is all a complete fraud. It's not an exact area." Ginny looked frightened and Mr. Grainger touched his granddaughter's arm and shook his head.
Mr. Moulterd swelled up like a bullfrog. "Eh! Tha' know nowt!" he snapped. "Tha' deserves what tha' gets!" He turned and stamped out with his lips poking out petulantly. Mavis ran after him, looking back once with a frightened expression.
Mr. Grainger wiped his forehead and murmured, "Oh, oh, dear!"
"Come on, then," Mr. Lucas jerked his head at Harry and Ron. "Got t'unload th' rest of our things, don't we?"
"What do you think that was all about?" Harry asked as they went back to the stable.
Mr. Lucas shrugged. "Seen too many vampire movies, Oi guess."
"What about 'Tha' deserves what tha' gets'?" Ron quavered. "Was he threatening us?"
"What, 'im? Not unless he's gone right round th' twist," Mr. Lucas scoffed. "We three oughta be more than a match for one old nutter what's past it. Get th' rest o' these bags while Oi bring those boards in. Got t'do something 'bout that broke glass, don't we?"
It had been three days since their arrival at Millstone Manor and they had all been much too busy to fret over broken mirrors and bad omens. There were too many small rooms that looked like they hadn't seen a broom or dust cloth since Elizabeth was a princess. On Wednesday night, Mr. Grainger had made a hot curry to try and cut the clogged feeling in their noses and throats.
Right before they sat down, Mavis Moulterd had called round with some eggs for breakfast. She had managed to pop in and out at least once a day. Mr. Moulterd had been conspicuous by his absence, but Tuesday morning Mr. Grainger had found a crude wax skull daubed with red paint in the icebox. Later that evening, Harry, Ron and Mr. Lucas had to shoo a flock of very uncooperative bats that had somehow gotten into one of the grand drawing rooms and were determined to stay. And then there had been the polecat let loose in the girls' bathroom. That had really caused a stink.
Ginny and Hermione had managed to persuade Mavis to stay to supper. She had been very bashful at first, but by the end of the meal she had unbent enough to giggle at Mr. Lucas' jokes.
Harry guessed that Mavis really was lonely out here in the middle of nowhere with no one around but her strange father. He would have thought Moulterd would have been glad of some company for Mavis, but the old prat seemed to have a thing for nasty practical jokes instead.
Later, when he and Ron were getting ready for bed, Harry asked, "Why do you think Mr. Moulterd showed up out of nowhere and started on about the broken mirror?"
Ron yawned hugely. "Dunno. I reckon he's gone round the twist like Mr. Lucas says. At least he hasn't showed back up."
"But how did he know about the dead bird?" Harry persisted. "Mr. Lucas had already carried that off before he turned up. And all that broken glass was out on the doorstep."
"I follow you about the bird," Ron said dreamily. "What was wrong about the glass?"
"Don't you see, if the bird really had flown through the glass, all the pieces would be inside," Harry explained. "Moulterd faked everything!"
Ron sat up. "And he has to be behind all the rest of the pranks! That's what he meant! But why is he doing it? What've any of us done to him?"
"I think he's been trying to scare us off," Harry answered. "What I can't figure out is why."
Chapter 3
"This suspended animation chamber is just like one I saw in a Rick Springfield video," Dr. Drakken snickered. He pressed the necessary sequence of buttons that trapped Kim inside and put her out of action.
"Ohhhh," Ron moaned to himself. "This is so not good!"
"Nice work, Dr. D," Shego approved. "This way we won't have to worry about Kimmie trying to escape and wreck our plans. Maybe Rick Springfield has more than a cute face and bottom going for him."
Drakken glared at his sidekick. "I built the chamber, not Rick Springfield. I didn't know you were into all those (ugh) pretty boys. I suppose you also think Simon LeBon is precious."
"Maybe we should spend less time watching We Are The 80's on VH1 Classic Rock and more time building wicked inventions?" Shego suggested, a little too sweetly. "Maybe then we could put Popable into suspended animation too?"
Ron stood up and rattled the bars of the iron cage he was in. "EXCUSE ME! The name is Stoppable! Ron Stoppable! And you're gonna remember that from now on 'cause I'm the guy that's gonna foil your evil plot! Okay, so I haven't figured out how, but - when I do..."
Dr. Drakken scowled. "You were the one who said he couldn't tie his own shoelaces."
"If he was in suspended animation, we wouldn't have to listen to him," Shego replied. "Besides, if you've been paying attention, Simon LeBon is entirely too pretty to be straight."
"Straight what?" Drakken asked. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Shego clenched her fists so tightly they glowed, gritted her teeth and hissed, "Morons! I've got morons on my team!"
She turned her back on both Dr. Drakken and Ron and flounced over to Kim's cell. "Looks like you and I are the only ones here with a brain, Sleeping Cutie. Too bad we have such lousy taste in men."
Kim wasn't able to answer. Shego pulled out her favorite nail file and continued. "Don't you wish there was a real Prince Charming out there, eh, Kimmie? You'd like to have someone to come ride to your rescue, take you in his arms, all that romantic kind of stuff?"
There was still no reply from Kim. Shego wasn't seriously expecting one, but it was nice to hold an intelligent conversation, with some gloating mixed in. She inspected her new manicure with a knowing smirk. "You know, it really is a shame that things like that only happen in cheesy music videos made before you were born, right?"
"I like those old videos! They sound better than today's drek," Dr. Drakken mumbled malevolently. "Besides, I'm the super villain here - I'm supposed to do the gloating!"
"I can do this - just like Steel Toe did in Mayhem in Middleton last month!" Ron panted. He flung himself desperately at the bars of his cage and tried as hard as he could to squeeze through. "C'mon, break! You're supposed to break!" he pleaded. "Breaaaak!"
Unfortunately, Ron's favorite wrestler outweighed him by 200 pounds (not to mention that his incarceration was a prop designed to fall apart at the slightest touch.) None of the iron in Ron's cage moved an iota and he collapsed on the cold floor with bruised ribs. "Aw, man! I wish Rufus and Wade were here! I hope they're doing better than I am!"
At first Harry thought he was dreaming. It took him several minutes to realize that there really was someone jumping up and down on his pillow and screaming his name. Harry opened his eyes and squinted at the pink shape dancing in and out of focus before him. "What's going on?" he asked sleepily.
"Drakken's got Kim!" Rufus yelled impatiently at the top of his rodent lungs. He tugged frantically at a lock of Harry's hair. "C'mon! Antarctica! Trick! Big net! WHOOSH! HELP!"
Awakened by Rufus' shrill voice, Ron bolted up in bed. "What's going on? Is it Moulterd?"
Harry sat up, put his glasses on and stared at the naked mole rat. "No, it's Kim."
"Bloody hell! What's happened to her?" Ron wanted to know.
"That's what I'm trying to find out," Harry replied. "Rufus is too upset and excited for me to understand him. They must have Ron Stoppable too."
Rufus bobbed his head rapidly. "Uh-huh, uh-huh!"
"Who are they?" Ron asked. "Thought Kim could take care of herself pretty well. Look at how she handled Mad-Eye Moody and Dumbledore."
Harry frowned. "Rufus mentioned someone called Drakken."
"Dragon?" Ron was horrified. "A dragon's got Kim? Bloody hell! We'll have to send an owl to Charlie in Romania!".
"No, no, NO!" Rufus piped up. "DRAKKEN! Dr. Drakken!" He jumped down off the bed and dragged the Kimmunicator over. "Here!"
Harry picked up the strange device. Wade looked back at him from the screen. "Did we finally make it to Yorkshire? Are you Harry Potter?"
"I am," Harry said. "Who are you?"
"Hi, I'm Wade. Nice to meet you. Rufus insisted that we come here and get you. Can you help us? Will you help us?" Wade asked anxiously.
"I have to try, don't I?" Harry said. "What's happened to Kim?"
"Dr. Drakken's got her trapped in his lair down in Antarctica!" Wade informed them.
Harry and Ron looked at each other in dismay. "Antarctica?!?" they said together.
"That's all the way at the other end of the world!" Ron yelped.
"Tell us about it!" Wade shot back. "It wasn't easy getting up here to England."
Harry took a deep breath. "What is Kim doing in Antarctica?"
"We got a hit on the website that there was an explorer that had wandered away from base camp. Kim and Ron went down there to rescue him," Wade explained.
"What, down to Antarctica?" Ron said incredulously.
"Yeah, but the hit was bogus! There was no lost explorer!" Wade continued. "When we got to where the base camp was supposed to be, Dr. Drakken was waiting for us instead!"
"Tell me about this Dr. Drakken," Harry said. "Who is he and what does he do?"
Wade shrugged. "Basically, he wants to take over the entire world."
Ron groaned. "That's just great! That's all we need - a Muggle version of Lord Voldemort!"
"He's trapped Kim because she keeps stopping him, right?" Harry said flatly.
Wade nodded. "You got it. He captured Kim and Ron but Rufus and I got left behind so we came here. Rufus said you were the one we needed to rescue them."
Harry squared his shoulders. "I'll do my best."
"Harry, no! You can't!" Hermione burst in and stood at the foot of the beds glaring at Harry, Ron, Rufus and Wade. Only Rufus had the temerity to glare back.
"How long have you been outside eavesdropping?" Ron inquired.
Hermione ignored him. "Harry, listen to me! You cannot do this!"
"I have to, Hermione," Harry protested. "Kim came through for Ron and me last summer."
Rufus crossed his paws over his chest and nodded. "That's right!"
"Last summer, you were almost expelled from Hogwarts for using magic during the holidays! And in front of Muggles!" Hermione snapped. "Worse than that, Cornelius Fudge was using you to try and discredit Professor Dumbledore!"
"Yeah, and Fudge ended up looking like a total berk instead," Ron put in. "Besides, Harry always gets out of stuff like that."
Hermione was so angry she actually stamped her foot. "He got out of it because Mad-Eye Moody and Dumbledore put their own wands on the line to save him!"
"She's right. I can't do that to Professor Dumbledore again," Harry told Ron.
"Does that mean you won't help us out?" Wade wailed in anguish. "After we came here to England from Antarctica?"
Rufus climbed onto Harry's arm and looked up at him with sad, pleading eyes. "Please and thank you?" he ventured.
"It's all right, Rufus. I didn't say I wouldn't rescue Kim," Harry said calmly.
Hermione opened her mouth to start in again, but Ron covered it firmly with his hand. "How are you going to do that, Harry?"
"I'm not sure yet. But somehow I have to find a way to do it without using any magical powers," Harry replied.
There was a sort of stunned silence for several minutes.
"Good for you, mate," Mr. Lucas spoke up from the open doorway. "Oi know yer can do it, an' if there's any way Oi can 'elp, you can count on me."
"And me!" Ron put in eagerly. "I could come with you if you like."
Hermione shook Ron off. "Oh, yes, Granddad will absolutely love that," she huffed.
"Whether he does or not, he's gonna 'ave t'know about it," Mr. Lucas pointed out. "We've got to all muck in together, don't we?"
"I'm the one who's mucked up," Hermione replied bitterly. "It's because of me that you know our secret, isn't it?"
Mr. Lucas smiled and shook his head. "No, luv, Oi knew it before we ever got in the car together. That's one of the reasons Mr. Grace wanted me along."
"But - how did you find us out then?" Harry wanted to know.
Mr. Lucas chuckled. "Because when Mr. Grainger dozes off during working hours, 'e watches you play Quidditch in 'is sleep."
Mr. Grainger stared down at the kitchen table to try and hide the fact that he was almost crying. "How am I to explain this to your parents?" he muttered disconsolately. "They'll never trust me again."
Hermione put her arms around his neck and hugged her grandfather. "Yes, they will! You couldn't help it, Granddad. You can't control that sort of thing."
"Sleeping during store hours - it's unforgivable!" Mr. Grainger insisted. "It's a wonder I haven't been given the sack!"
"But you haven't," Ginny pointed out. "No one knows about it but Mr. Lucas and he wouldn't say anything to anyone. Not even to Mr. Humphries."
Mr. Grainger raised his eyes and peered timidly at his junior. "Yer secret's safe with me," Mr. Lucas assured him. He looked around the table they were all sitting at. "Oi think we'd best concentrate on seeing 'ow we can 'elp Harry."
"Yes, exactly how do you intend to get to Antarctica?" Hermione asked. "You can't ride your broom, you know."
"No, I left it at the Burrow with my wand and all my other things for safekeeping," Harry replied. "So I haven't anything magic to use to begin with."
"Well, how did Rufus and Wade get to England then?" Ron inquired.
All eyes turned to the two newcomers. Rufus kept his eyes on the tabletop and turned even pinker. "We stowed away on a Royal Air Force transport," Wade confessed. "Then we hitchhiked up to Yorkshire on a big truck. A lorry."
Mr. Grainger shook his head. "I don't suggest you do any of that, Harry. It - it sounds rather dangerous to me."
"It is," Rufus agreed.
"There must be some way for you to get to Antarctica without calling out the Royal Air Force," Ginny said.
"There is one way," Harry said slowly. "And it doesn't exactly involve magic."
"Now, now, I won't have you risking your neck pulling some foolish stunt," Mr. Grainger warned. "I'm in enough trouble as it is without you getting yourself hurt or - or worse."
Mr. Lucas waved him silent. "What 'ave you thought of then?"
"I can call Buckbeak here and he'll take me to Antarctica," Harry told them.
Ron rolled his eyes. "Oh, sure, that's not using magic, flying around the globe on a ruddy hippogriff!"
"Not if he's my hippogriff and we're not seen. Hagrid put a Disillusionment Charm on him before I left Hogwarts and I've got his whistle upstairs. We'll be fine," Harry persisted.
"What exactly is a hippogriff?" Wade piped up. "I've never heard of one."
"You wouldn't. It's a magical beast that's half eagle and half horse," Hermione explained.
Wade's eyes got big. "Awesome!" he exclaimed.
Mr. Grainger wasn't as enthusiastic. "Oh, oh dear! Are - are you quite sure this is safe? S-suppose you were to fall off?"
"Fall off? Harry? Don't be stupid!" Mr. Lucas scoffed. "Not th' best Seeker th' Gryffindor team's 'ad in a century!"
"That's right," Ron said loyally. "No one who can ride a broom the way Harry can would ever fall off a hippogriff."
"Buckbeak wouldn't do anything to hurt him," Ginny put in. "Hippogriffs are very loyal creatures and lots of witches and wizards keep them as pets."
But despite all this reassurance, the old man still looked very worried and Harry tried to add his bit. "It's all right, really. My godfather left Buckbeak to me and he's very tame. Hagrid and I have been working with him and he'll come when I blow his whistle. It's quite safe, Mr. Grainger, and I know what I'm doing."
"It sounds a lot less hazardous than hitchhiking," Wade added. "So when do we leave?"
"As soon as I can call Buckbeak and get him to come," Harry said firmly.
"Let me an' Ron scout around first an' make sure Moulterd's not 'angin' about playin' another o' 'is pranks," Mr. Lucas said. "Oi don't mind tellin' yer, Oi don't trust that old sod."
"Nor do I," Mr. Grainger said. He stood up and put his hand on Harry's shoulder. "I can see you're determined to see this through and I can do nothing to stop you. Just promise me that you'll be extremely careful and not take any foolhardy risks."
Harry looked intently back at Mr. Grainger. "I promise I won't. But I have to go."
"Yes, I know," Mr. Grainger said. "Good luck, my boy."
In less than an hour, Harry was urging Buckbeak to fly south as fast as he could. Rufus rode snugly behind him on a large pile of coats, blankets and gloves. Ginny and Hermione had ransacked all the closets in Millstone Manor to find anything warm to wear. They had even turned up a couple of pairs of old fashioned earmuffs, which gave Harry an idea.
In the bottom of his luggage, Harry had packed a miniature tape recorder,. It had been a gag gift from Onslow, his cousin Daisy's husband. "Th' gag is Oi taped Hyacinth makin' a bloody great noise wot she imagines t'be singin'." Onslow told Harry. "An' that's enough to make anyone gag," He rolled his eyes expressively.
Hyacinth and her sisters, Daisy, Violet and Rose, had been first cousins to his mother, Lily. Harry got on well enough with the three younger sisters, especially warmhearted Daisy and her shiftless spouse. But the oldest sister, Hyacinth Bucket (which she insisted on pronouncing "Bouquet") was every bit as unbearable as Aunt Petunia Dursley. The mere mention of the name "Hyacinth" made the neighbors blanch and scatter.
Harry could only tolerate her because he sincerely liked her husband, Richard, a thoroughly downtrodden little man with a worried basset hound face. The sole bright spot in poor Richard's life was his fast friendship with his wife's young cousin. Therefore Harry did what he could to break the monotony of catering to Hyacinth's endless whims.
One of the worst of her fancies was her sincere belief that she was a great coloratura soprano. In the real world, Hyacinth sounded like a flock of peacocks having their throats cut. Most of her listeners, who were otherwise gentle people, wished the same fate on the singer. Her voice was simply too ghastly to be believed, hence Onslow's tape recording.
Harry had put the recorder in his bag to share with Ron, in the hopes they could spring it on their archenemy, Draco Malfoy, when they got back to school. "Only it's far too awful to waste on him," Ron observed. "Save it to use on Lord Voldemort!"
Now the cassette player was tucked in Harry's jacket pocket next to Buckbeak's whistle. "You'd better take it, just in case things get a bit sticky," Ron had urged. "Maybe you can scare this Dr. Drakken into letting Kim go."
Harry shook his head. "I hope it doesn't come to that. He shouldn't be that hard to defeat. But I'll take it anyway, Thanks."
CHAPTER 4
Professor Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, walked down the staircase to the dungeon where Potions classes were help during the school year. There were no students there now, as it was the summer holiday, but the Potions Master, Severus Snape was there mumbling over a cauldron.
Dumbledore politely waited until the Professor was done with his incantation before he knocked on the open door and entered. "Ah, Severus. I thought I might find you here."
Professor Snape looked up and brushed his long, somewhat greasy, black hair away from his face. "Just brewing up a new batch of wolfsbane potion, Headmaster. I thought we might need it - the moon is waxing."
"Yes, of course. Very thoughtful of you." Professor Dumbledore nodded. "Now I wonder, Severus, have you anything on for later today?"
Snape frowned. "Not in particular, no. Have you something for me to do?"
Dumbledore smiled. "Yes, I need someone to fly down to Antarctica. Ordinarily, I would send Fawkes, but it's much too near to his burning day. Might I impose on you?"
Professor Snape did not answer the question. Instead he parried with "If I may, why do you need someone in Antarctica?"
Professor Dumbledore sighed and rubbed his nose. "I have just received word that Harry Potter is on his way down there. A young lady has dropped herself in a bit of a sticky situation and her friends have asked Harry to help."
An expression of deep disgust settled over Snape's sallow face. "I don't see how you can allow it! Potter has absolutely no regard for the rules!" He glowered at the Headmaster. "If it were anyone else, I don't believe you would allow it! Wasn't there enough of a fuss over that Ladin fellow this time last year?"
"He was a dangerous man, both to Wizards and to Muggles," Dumbledore said calmly.
"Is this the same Muggle girl who was involved in that case?" Snape asked suspiciously.
Professor Dumbledore nodded. "Her name, Severus, is Kim Possible. She's a charming person who happens not to have magic powers. Nevertheless, she can do anything."
Professor Snape sneered, "Except extricate herself from whatever difficulty she's in now. Why should we risk our lives for this silly little Muggle? You know very well the Minister of Magic goes into an apoplectic fit at the mention of her name."
"That is why I need you to go," Dumbledore replied. "In order to comply with the laws against underage wizardry, and to protect me, Harry is attempting to rescue Kim without the use of any magic whatsoever."
"He what?" Professor Snape raised his eyebrows until they nearly touched his hairline. "That is impossible! How can he even get to Antarctica? Surely not on one of those noisy smelly Muggle transports! What do they call them? Aeroplanes?"
"Certainly not, Harry is flying down on Buckbeak," Professor Dumbledore said. "As Hagrid has already put a Disillusionment Charm on the hippogriff, no rules will be compromised. The rest is up to Harry."
Snape breathed a heavy sigh. "And you expect me to drop everything to go save him? I'm sorry, Headmaster, but I will not be Harry Potter's dogsbody!"
"Of course not," Professor Dumbledore said soothingly. "I'm quite confident that Harry can handle the situation."
Snape rolled his eyes. "Yes, of course."
"Nevertheless, I would appreciate it if you were to be there - just in case things happen to get out of hand," Dumbledore continued.
"Would you?" Snape asked coldly. "Might I also point out that I am not a chaperone?"
Professor Dumbledore reached over and put his hand on Snape's arm "Yes, I am quite aware of that. I also realize that this is a grave imposition, Severus, but I could not entrust Harry and Kim's safety to anyone but you."
There was a long silence, broken by another heavy sigh from Snape. "When would you need me to leave?"
Dumbledore smiled. "Whenever you're ready to. And thank you very much."
CHAPTER 5
Ron Stoppable chipped industriously with the end of his shoelace, trying to loosen the metal solder around the bars of his cage. "Almost there, almost there, all - aw, man! Not again!" He stared in dismay at the fourth broken aglet.
"Shego, remind me to build another suspended animation chamber in the morning," Dr. Drakken ordered. "And for heaven's sake, make him put his shoes back on!"
Shego continued to work on her manicure. "You might at least say please," she pointed out in a jaded voice.
"You know, Shego, you really haven't been very nice to me since I captured Kim Possible," Drakken pouted.
Shego put down her nail file and went over to face her comrade in crime. "Okay, let's get one thing straight once and for all. You did not capture Kim Possible. It was my idea, therefore I am the one who captured her and not you! Get it?"
"Uh, could I please have a knife?" Ron called. "Any old knife ya got laying around will do, doesn't have to be sharp or anything. Although that might help, y'know?"
"It's my lair and my suspended animation chamber," Dr. Drakken grumbled. "I deserve as much credit as you do!"
"You didn't even think she would show up, that's how much credit you should get!" Shego snarled. "I think of all the good ideas, do all the real fighting and all you ever do is hog all the glory!"
"A fork? Could I have a fork, please?" Ron spoke up loudly. "Dinner fork? Salad fork? Shrimp fork? Pickle fork? Any fork?"
"Glory? Glory, Shego? You call freezing to death at the bottom of the world glory?" Drakken lamented. "If you'd only listened to me, we'd be in Palm Springs!"
"We've already gone over this!" Shego shrieked like a mad thing.
Ron tried once more. "Plastic spork anyone?"
"Fine! You keep ranting about your plan and how wonderful it is! You know what the problem is here?" Drakken demanded. "This is BORING, Shego!"
Shego glared at him. "So give Popable his spork!"
"BORING and lame!" Dr. Drakken intoned nasally.
"Oh! I bet I know what would liven things up!" Ron shouted. "A Swiss army knife!"
Drakken shot Ron a nasty look and continued. "So we do trap Kim Possible - so what? Do we concoct an elaborate device for getting rid of her and then go out and boogie?"
Shego bristled. "Listen, mister! We've been living together long enough for you to know that I do not, nor will I ever, boogie!"
"Y'know, I don't blame you one bit," Ron offered. "That just sounds nasty."
"That's not the POINT!" Drakken spluttered.
Shego narrowed her eyes and picked up her nail file. "So, is there a point?"
"YES, there's a point!" Dr. Drakken screamed. "The point is we haven't tortured anyone! We finally get Kim Possible and all we do is throw her into suspended animation." He took a deep, sobbing breath. "Where is the fun in that?!!?"
Shego gave him a rock-hard look. "Will you cut the drama? You are turning a very ugly shade of purple."
"Yeah, it's more like puce," Ron put in. "You should do something about that,"
"If you absolutely have to torture someone, you'll have to strip Popable here naked - which is not a pretty thought - and put him out in the snow." Shego said firmly.
Ron froze. "Not a pretty thought? Dude! That is a terrible thought! I'll die of pneumonia!"
"That's the idea," Shego yawned. "I don't know why we didn't think of it before. If we do it now, we won't have to put up with any more of your incessant inanity."
"Aw, man! What did I ever do to you guys?" Ron asked. "Besides the obvious?"
But Dr. Drakken was not satisfied. "That just isn't enough, Shego! I wanna torture Kim Possible too!" he whined.
Shego tossed her file aside and fired up her hands. "You take one step toward that cell and you are toast!"
"That is SO not fair!" Drakken raged. "It's my cell!"
"And if you dare let Kim Possible out of it, I'll destroy you and give the pieces to DNAmy!" Shego threatened. "Do you want her to escape?"
"Escape to where? Shego, we are in the middle of NOWHERE!" Dr. Drakken bellowed. "There's no place to go and no one to help her get there!"
"Hey, hello!" Ron yelled. "Remember me? Ron Stoppable? Yes, it is Stoppable, not -"
An alarm beeping on the computer console drowned out the rest of Ron's speech. Drakken and Shego rushed over to look at the screen.
"Someone's breaking into the lair!" Drakken cried.
Shego raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said there was no one around to help." She looked at the screen. "I don't see anything. Are you sure this thing is working right?"
"Of course I'm sure!" Drakken shot back. "Don't you have any faith in me?"
"Uh, NO! That was the whole point of the little discussion we just had!" Shego reminded him. She looked back at the computer. "There's not anybody there! Either that or -"
"Or what?" Drakken snapped.
Shego waved him aside. "Nah, they couldn't be invisible. Probably just the wind."
"All right, Rufus! You rock!" Ron murmured to himself. "I hope you brought someone to help that rocks as much as you do."
The hippogriff nudged Harry with his massive head. "No, Buckbeak, you're not going to fit in this little tunnel anyway," Harry told him. He spread a warm flannel quilt over his pet's hindquarters. "You wait for me out here with Wade. Rufus and I are going in."
Rufus leaped from the pocket of Harry's rather tatty fur coat and scrambled into the ventilation shaft. "C'mon, let's go!" he ordered.
"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Wade asked. "What if you need backup?"
"I've got Buckbeak's whistle. If I need you, then I'll blow it," Harry continued. "But I won't unless I absolutely have to. If any Muggles see a hippogriff, the Ministry of Magic gets involved and that means trouble for all of us."
Rufus beckoned from the opening. "Hurry up!"
"Just coming," Harry promised. He managed to climb into the cramped passage. "If we're not out soon, get yourselves out of it! Send Buckbeak back to Hagrid at Hogwarts and he'll get help."
"Remember what Mr. Grainger said, Harry," Wade warned. "You guys be real careful, both of you."
"I'll remember, Wade. We'll be fine, really," Harry assured him. He and Rufus went in and started crawling slowly through the maze of tubes in the ceiling of the lair.
"AHA! They're coming in through the ventilation shaft!" Dr. Drakken exclaimed. "Undoubtedly, a rescue party - one naked mole rat and one teenage boy, according to the thermal scan."
"Really?" For the first time since they'd arrived, Shego looked interested. "A boy, huh? Prince Charming must've showed up after all."
"Nah, it couldn't be," Ron said to himself. "It just couldn't be! On the other hand, who else could it be? Ohh, the suspense is killing me!"
Harry lay on his stomach in the dusty shaft overlooking the main room and scanned the scene spread out below them. "There's Ron over there in that cage, but I don't see Kim anywhere," he said to Rufus.
Rufus glanced around and spotted the suspended animation cell in the corner. He pointed at it. "There!"
Harry pressed his nose close to the grate and squinted through it, trying to get a clear glimpse of Kim. "It looks like she's unconscious. She's not moving!" His heart came up into his throat at the thought that he might be too late. "Rufus! What is that - that box they've got her in?"
"Suspended animation chamber," explained Rufus, who watched VH1 Classic Rock regularly. He patted Harry's shoulder reassuringly. "She's all right."
"She'd better be," Harry said grimly. He peered through the grill again. "Which one is Dr. Drakken?"
Rufus pointed him out. "That's Drakken."
Harry watched as the blue-skinned villain rubbed his hands together in a manner that was quite obnoxious. "Well, Shego, so much for your great idea! Ohh, noooo, no one's going to come to rescue Kim Possible here in Antarctica!" He chortled unpleasantly.
"Ahhh, shaddup," his companion, a girl dressed in green, fumed. Her face was sullen. and her manner very sarcastic. "This is why I hate the few occasions when you're right. You are such a rotten winner!"
"You are so right! And don't you forget it!" Drakken boasted. "He raised his voice. "You might as well come down and face me, boy! Hiding in the ventilation shaft won't save you! Come down and face the terrible wrath of Dr. Drakken - if you dare!" He concluded with a hideous laugh.
"Oh, yeah, that oughta scare the pants off of him," Shego muttered darkly. "Not!"
Harry looked over at Rufus. "Well, so much for the element of surprise then."
"Let's get 'em!" Rufus urged.
"Right then!" Harry shoved the grate open and jumped down into the room. He faced Dr. Drakken, who wasn't any better looking close up, squarely. Rufus slid down into Harry's pocket in case of emergencies.
Drakken frowned. "Hmm, I don't believe I know you. Have we met?"
Harry brushed dust out of his hair. "I'm Harry Potter. And you must be Dr. Drakken."
"Would you care to hear my evil laugh again?" Drakken offered. "I'm told I have one of the best in the business."
"Yeah, who told you that?" Shego demanded. "Sure wasn't me!"
"No, thanks. I try to avoid evil laughs when I can," Harry countered
Ron's eyes were like saucers. "All right! Way to go, Rufus! Excellent job, little buddy!"
Rufus popped his head up and took a bow. "Thank you! Thank you!"
"You are in major trouble now, Drakken!" Ron exulted.
"That's Dr. Drakken to you, Popable, and don't get your hopes up yet," The Doctor glowered at Harry. "I don't see anything special about him."
Shego shrugged. "Maybe Kimmie does. After all, he did come to rescue her." Her eyes slid over Harry like a serpent. "And all the way from England, too, from the sound of it,"
"Shego! Will you stop that?" Drakken snapped. "We're villains - we're not running a dating service!"
"Yeah, well, you're gonna need a new career now, 'cause your villain days are over!" Ron boasted. "If anyone can save Kim, it's my man Harry Potter! He's with British Intelligence - you know, James Bond!"
Harry felt his face growing hot. "Ron, please!"
"Sorry, old chap, didn't mean to blow your cover," Ron whispered loudly. "Carry on!"
"Uh, thanks." Harry replied. The only thing worse than Ron Stoppable mistaking him for a super spy would be if he knew the truth.
"British Intelligence? Isn't that an oxymoron?" Drakken mumbled.
"Tell that to James Bond," Shego retorted. "I believe you're thinking about the military. Besides, the accent is really cute."
"I told you to cut that out," the Doctor growled. "Don't get too attached to him - he won't be around for too much longer!" He made a horrible noise like a choking hyena. "What do you think of that, Mr. British Intelligence?"
Harry forgot Mr. Grainger's warning and spoke recklessly. "Not much. So far you're all talk and no action."
"Oh, really?" Drakken snarled. "SHEGO! DESTROY HIM!"
Harry was expecting to be attacked by Dr. Drakken himself. He was caught completely off guard when Shego's hands started glowing a bright and noxious green. Before Harry could collect his wits, she made a furious lunge straight at him.
"Dude, look out!" Ron screamed as loud as he could.
Harry leaped aside and managed to avoid being touched by Shego. However he slipped and hit his temple hard on the corner of the iron cage. There was a blinding white light and then everything around him went black.
When Harry opened his eyes again, his vision was fuzzy without his glasses. He could sense someone standing directly over him. A faint green glow and the stench of burning copper told him it had to be Shego.
"Harry! Do not move, man!" Ron hissed close to his ear.
Harry closed his eyes and feigned unconsciousness while he tried to assess the situation. He was reassured slightly when Rufus slid back into his pocket carrying Harry's glasses. And Ron was breathing hard near his head, so Harry guessed he was laying where he'd fallen beside the cage. His head ached abominably, and the concrete floor was hard and cold, but Harry lay quite still, hoping to catch Shego off guard.
He sensed that she was bending over him and scrutinizing his face very carefully. "So this is what Prince Charming looks like now," Shego murmured. She placed one finger, which was still rather hot, under Harry's chin and tilted his face toward the light. Harry kept his eyes tight shut. "Not exactly Rick Springfield but not bad. Certainly a great improvement over Popable here."
"Never mind Rick Springfield or that buffoon!" Dr. Drakken snapped. "Finish him off, Shego! I don't have the materials for a third cell!"
"All right, all right, don't rush me!" Shego grumbled. A rush of heat above him told Harry she had straightened up and reignited her hands. He had only one chance.
Quickly, Harry brought his legs up and pushed with his knees as hard as he could. Shego went sprawling backwards, surprised and breathless. Harry sprang to his feet and took cover behind Ron's cage.
"All right, way to go!" Ron exulted. "British Intelligence rocks!"
Harry shook his head, trying desparately to clear it. He wondered how he'd ever gotten into this mess and why he'd thought he could pull this off without magic. Rufus brought his glasses and Harry put them back on. "Thanks, Rufus. Ron, who is that woman?"
"Who, Shego? Oh, yeah, she works for Dr. Drakken," Ron said casually.
Harry gritted his teeth. "That much I guessed. And why didn't any of you see fit to mention someone with glowing green hands before?"
Rufus blushed all over his body. "Oops, sorry," he apologized.
"Very sloppy, Rufus," Ron scolded his pet. He turned to Harry. "See, all Drakken does is come up with some evil plan that's always slightly lame, right?"
"Thank you very much, Popable," Drakken said dryly. "I'll remember that when it comes time to dispose of you!"
Ron ignored him. "Now Shego does the real fighting. She has, like, this super power that she got from a glowing rainbow comet."
Harry sighed. "That's very helpful, Ron. Of course it would have been nice to know before I flew down here."
"Yeah, well, Rufus and Wade should've told ya - Dr. D doesn't lift a finger 'cause he's got Shego to go in for him," Ron concluded.
Shego sat up gingerly "Y'know, Popable's not nearly as dumb as I thought," she remarked grudgingly. She gave Dr. Drakken a hate filled look, which he returned.
"I can see that now that you've filled me in. What exactly can she do with those glowing hands?" Harry asked.
Shego staggered to her feet, brushed herself off and fired up her hands. "I'll answer that! Allow me to demonstrate for you, Jimbo. I can do this!"
She grabbed the table in front of Dr. Drakken and reduced it to a pool of molten metal that sent up great clouds of steam in the frigid air.
Rufus closed his eyes, gulped loudly and shivered.
"Hey! My mother gave me that table!" Drakken yelped. "It was a family heirloom!"
"Yeah, I knew that - because it was really ugly," Shego said in a sweet and sarky tone. Breaking her tailbone had not improved her usual sardonic mood.
Drakken grimaced. "You never liked my mother!" he said accusingly.
"And when has your mother given me any reason to like her?" Shego snarled back at him. She raised her voice slightly. "Does that answer your question there, Hero Boy?"
Harry shrank back behind Ron's cage. "This is so not good," he muttered.
"Uh - yeah!" Ron retorted. "So, dude, ya got the little pointed stick with you?"
"No!" Harry gasped. His temple throbbed and he felt a momentary lurch of panic. "I - I couldn't bring it."
"Aw, man," Ron pointed out. "How are you gonna save Kim, not to mention us, fight off Shego and defeat Drakken, huh? Got any of the old BI magic up your sleeve?"
"I can't use any magic." Harry felt in his pocket and brought out the miniature cassette. "But let's see if I can't break things up as well as Shego can."
"With just a tape player?" Ron wanted to know. "OOH! Is that some way cool spy gadget that's disguised as a tape player?
Harry shook his head. "It's a tape recorder, Ron."
"Aw, man!" Ron moaned, disappointed. "I thought you had something that really rocks! What good will that thing do?"
"Put these earmuffs on and we'll find out," Harry told him. He shoved them through the bars and waited impatiently until Ron's ears were covered.
"I don't get it! What the heck can you do with nothing but an ordinary tape player?" Ron groused as he slid the earmuffs on.
"The tape player may be ordinary, but the recording isn't. Brace yourself," Harry warned. He made sure his own earmuffs were in place and aimed the speaker at Drakken and Shego before hitting the play button.
Even for someone who'd been forced to sit through numerous performances, it was painful. The scratchy recording made Cousin Hyacinth's ghastly screeching even worse than in person. The full force of her personality permeated the room like the filthy odor from the dead bird had filled Millstone Manor. "When you wa-a-alk through a storm, hold your he-e-e-ead up hi-i-igh. And do-o-o-on't be af-f-fraid of the d-a-arK!"
The effect on the two villains was swift; they both hit the concrete and curled into fetal positions with their hands over their ears. "OWWW, the mental and physical anguish! No fair! That's cruel and unusual punishment!" Drakken whined. "It's against the Geneva Convention! Help, Shego!"
"A-a-a-at the e-e-end of the storm, there's a go-o-o-olden sky," Hyacinth's voice shrieked, with little regard for the original melody or the pitch. "And the swe-e-e-et sil-l-l-ver so-o-o-ng of a la-a-ark!"
"AAUGH, make it stop!" Shego begged, rolling helplessly on the floor. "Turn it off, get rid of it, do something! I'm losing my mind!"
"Wa-a-a-alk on through the wi-i-ind! Wa-a-a-a-alk on through the ra-a-ain!" the aria droned on dismally.
"You do something - you've got the super powers!" Drakken raged. "Shego, I demand that you do something!"
"Tho-o-ugh your DRE-E-E-E-EAMS be to-o-ossed and blo-o-wn!" Hyacinth's strident yells reverberated off the thin walls.
The only thing Shego was doing was rolling on the floor in excruciating torment.
Ron winced and clapped his hands over the earmuffs. "Is that some sort of weird ultrasonic device designed by the government to induce mind control or something?" he shouted at Harry over the fearful row.
"No! It's my mother's first cousin who fondly imagines that she can sing like a normal person," Harry shouted back.
"Your family reunions must be a blast! That is radically wicked!" Ron complained. "Y'know, I never thought I'd say this, but that is worse than my dad singing old KISS songs!"
Rufus popped up out of Harry's other pocket with his paws tightly covering his ears. "Way worse!"
Harry was about to ask what Kiss was when he stopped short and looked at the suspended animation chamber Kim was in. "The cell! It's breaking up!" He pointed the cassette player at it and turned up the volume.
"A-a-a-a-and you'll ne-e-e-e-evah wa-a-a-a-alk ahl-o-o-o-one!" Hyacinth caterwauled like a coven of banshees. Harry looked around him and saw the walls of Dr. Drakken's lair were starting to buckle under the pressure. They weren't the only thing that was weakening. Drakken and Shego appeared to be going into severe convulsions, completely overpowered by the cacophony.
Ron managed to give Harry a weak thumbs up but he was beginning to get that look of sheer and total panic all of Hyacinth's guests wore.
The thick walls of the cell she was trapped in shielded Kim from the worst of it, but the awful din was beginning to filter through. She gritted her teeth and clamped her hands over her ears. "Oh, gosh, I will never ever complain about Dad or Freddie Mercury again!" Kim promised herself as she bounced off the walls of the crumbling chamber.
"You'll NE-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-EVAH walk AHL-O-ONE!" Hyacinth finished with a triumphant flourish.
Drakken and Shego also appeared to be finished. They each gave one last jerk and lay completely still.
The suspended animation cell shuddered and the door burst into a million pieces. Harry turned off the recorder before Hyacinth could begin a new number and rushed over to help Kim out of the wreckage.
"Are you all right, then?" Harry asked.
Kim cautiously removed her hands from her ears. "Ask me again sometime when I've gotten my hearing back!" She suddenly realized who she was talking to. "Harry! Harry, what are you doing here?"
"I was about to ask you the same thing," Harry said. "Antarctica's not the easiest place to get to, you know."
Kim smiled and raised an eyebrow. "You came all the way down here, just to rescue me?"
"Rufus and Wade said you needed help," Harry told her. "Besides, you were there for us last summer when Ron Weasley and I dropped ourselves in it."
"That is so sweet!" Kim exclaimed. Then she frowned. "You won't get in trouble again?"
"Not if I didn't use any magical powers, I won't." Harry replied. "It's no big."
"You didn't use any magic?" Kim reached up and gently brushed Harry's unruly hair away from his temple. "You've got a really nasty bruise right here. And your chin is burned."
"Yeah, well, they forgot to warn me about Shego," Harry said.
"Ouch! Not very considerate!" Kim's warm fingertips lightly caressed the black and blue mark that still throbbed. "Harry, you could've been hurt seriously."
"So could you," Harry took her hand. "Kim, I wanted to be here for you."
"Aw, Harry," Kim said softly.
Harry was about to put his arm around her when Dr. Drakken stirred and whimpered. "Ohhh, being deaf is such a pleasure!"
Harry took a firmer hold on Kim's hand. "Come on, we've got to free Ron and get out of here before Drakken and Shego recover."
Kim looked over at the two villains writhing on the floor in agony. "Somehow, I don't think that's happening any time soon. They look like they've had more than enough."
Harry nodded. "Yeah, that's how all Cousin Hyacinth's guests look when she's through entertaining."
Kim stopped short and her eyes got big. "Wait, that was your cousin making that horrible noise? On purpose? Harry, that is worse than terrible!"
Harry shrugged. "Sometimes I think my mother became a witch in self defense. Some of my Muggle relations are pretty foul. Except for Uncle Richard and we're not really family. He's married to Cousin Hyacinth."
"Poor man!" Kim remarked sympathetically.
Dr. Drakken flopped over onto his back. "Shego, you're fired," he mumbled weakly without opening his eyes. "Yes, you are so fired. Fired, fired, fired!"
Shego didn't seem too upset - or maybe she just couldn't hear her ex-boss. "Ohhhhh, I haaate Rodgers and Hammerstein!" she groaned.
Harry looked over at Kim. "We need to get Ron and leave."
"Yes, it is past time for you to go," said a harsh voice all too familiar to Harry.
He whirled to look behind them. "Professor Snape!"
Snape raised an eyebrow. "Congratulations, Potter," he said very dryly. "I didn't believe you could pull it off, but of course you've managed to land on your feet. As usual."
"My man Harry always comes through!" Ron called out bravely.
Professor Snape regarded Ron with all the warmth of someone confronted with a talking slug. He pulled out his wand and pointed it at the cage Ron was still in. "Alohomora!"
Ron flinched and covered his head, but all that happened was that the cage door sprang open. "Man, I gotta get me a pointed stick!" Ron said with a grin.
Snape rolled his eyes. "I sincerely hope not!" He looked accusingly at Harry and Kim.
"It was all my fault, sir." Kim spoke up quickly. "I let Dr. Drakken and Shego lure me into a trap and Harry had to come rescue me."
"I had to use Buckbeak to get here but I didn't even bring my wand," Harry added. "All I had with me was this." He offered the miniature cassette to the Professor.
Snape waved it aside. "Keep that insidious device away from me! You needn't offer any excuses. I witnessed the entire episode."
"You did?" Harry and Kim chorused.
"I was here - at the request of Professor Dumbledore - to step in if necessary," Snape said coldly. "Fortunately, my assistance was not needed."
Harry gasped. "Professor Dumbledore knew I was here?"
"Why does that surprise you so much, Potter?" Snape sneered. "You don't actually think you're getting away with anything, do you?"
At that moment, Ron tripped trying to get out of his cage and fell with a CRASH! Drakken and Shego both winced and moaned at the noise. "Oops, sorry!" Ron said sheepishly.
"I think you should leave now," Professor Snape said to Harry and Kim. He skewered the hapless Ron Stoppable with a glare. "And be sure to take him with you."
Ron sprang to his feet. "Hey, I'm good to go! Don't worry about me!"
"What about Dr. Drakken and Shego?" Kim asked. "What'll happen to them?"
Snape looked down at the two villains and sniffed. "I can safely say that they won't be troubling you any more. I shall adjust their memories, of course, but they'll know to stay far away from Kim Possible."
Ron pumped his fist in the air and shouted, "Booyah!" Professor Snape raised his head and stared at him with intense dislike.
"Uh oh," Rufus muttered.
Harry also recognized the look. He had been on the receiving end too many times. He put his arm around Kim and began shepherding her to the door. "We'll just go, shall we?"
"Do so at once," Professor Snape ordered without taking his eyes off Ron.
Ron scrambled after Kim and Harry, but paused at the door to look back at the Professor and wave. "BI rocks! See ya around, big guy!"
Snape shook his head at such brazen effrontery. "Not if I have the good fortune to see you first!" he muttered darkly.
Kim shivered in the icy air. "Is that one of your teachers?" she asked Harry.
"Yeah, he's the Potions Master, Professor Snape," Harry replied.
"And I thought Mr. Barkin was scary!" Kim shuddered again.
"Cool hair, though," Ron observed. Kim and Harry exchanged a glance and then Kim rolled her eyes. Sometimes Ron just didn't get it.
"So how are we getting home?" Kim inquired. "I mean, you couldn't ride your broom."
"I got a ride from a friend," Harry told her. He whistled and Buckbeak dove down and landed a few yards from them. He saw Harry and trilled happily.
Ron did a wild take and fell backward into a snowdrift. "WHOA! What is that?!?"
Buckbeak reared and flapped his powerful wings, showering them with more snow. Harry walked up fearlessly, grabbed his collar and calmed the frightened animal. "Shh! Don't startle him!" His name is Buckbeak and he's a hippogriff. My godfather left him to me," Harry said proudly.
"I take it this is not from one of your awful Muggle relations," Kim said. "He's really awesome, Harry! Will he let me pet him?"
"Bow to him first. Hippogriffs like people to be polite," Harry directed her.
Kim dipped gracefully. "Hi, Buckbeak! I'm Kim. I hope we'll be friends."
Buckbeak bowed back and allowed Kim to stroke him. "Be careful, KP, that looks really dangerous!" Ron warned.
"Only if you offend him. Hippogriffs are easily offended." Harry said.
"I think I might be in trouble," Ron mumbled.
Wade spoke up from the Kimmunicator. "C'mon, Ron, give it a try. Riding on a hippogriff is absolutely way cool!"
"Especially if you've stayed in your room the whole time." Kim added.
CHAPTER 6
Professor Snape stalked into the Headmaster's office with a sullen scowl. Fawkes, the phoenix, took one look at his angry face and burst into flames.
Professor Dumbledore looked up from the parchment he was reading. "Ah, Severus. Back so soon then?
"Not nearly soon enough for me," Professor Snape said coldly. He stood glowering in front of the Headmaster's desk.
Dumbledore smiled at him calmly. "Well, did everything go smoothly then?"
"Potter and Miss Possible escaped, if that's what you mean," Snape replied. He gave his superior a dark look. "Potter was armed with some insidious Muggle device that created the most abominable racket. It was even worse than being trapped in a flock of banshees." He shuddered at the memory of it.
Professor Dumbledore tented his long fingers together in front of his nose. "I see. A Muggle device, eh? Very resourceful." he mused, more to himself than to Snape.
"Yes, very resourceful," Snape snarled. "Headmaster, they were holding hands! With each other!"
"Were they? Well, now, that is quite nice," Dumbledore remarked. He glanced up at Professor Snape's face burning with resentment. "I am sorry you were troubled, Severus."
"Troubled? " Professor Snape sighed. "It was more like the most vicious wholesale torture followed by an unending series of infantile insults. That flocculent Muggle oaf thought I was with British Intelligence."
"Ron Stoppable," Professor Dumbledore said thoughtfully. "A thoroughly nice young fellow, but a just a bit dim. I understand he has been invaluable to Kim."
"Well, I suppose we must have our court jester," Snape said disdainfully. "But that is not what is bothering me. Headmaster, I cannot believe you failed to warn me!"
"About Ron Stoppable?" Dumbledore inquired.
Snape looked him directly in the eye. "About how closely Harry and Kim resemble James and Lily Potter," he snapped.
The Headmaster was silent for a few minutes. "They are rather alike, come of think of it," he finally admitted. He rose to his feet and met Snape's indignant gaze without flinching. "Tell me, Severus, would you have gone down to Antarctica if I had informed you about how similar Harry and Kim are to James and Lily?"
Snape huffed. "I would not! And I am telling you now that I have no desire to open old wounds that have yet to heal!"
Dumbledore reached over and placed a quieting hand on the younger professor's shoulder. "No one wishes to relive James and Lily's death. Certainly I don't. That is why I asked you to go, to make sure nothing happened to Harry or to Kim."
"I see. I apologize if I have said anything untoward," Snape said stiffly.
Dumbledore waved his apology aside. "Not at all. By the way, you did take care of Shego and Dr. Drakken, I trust."
Irritation crept back into Snape's features. " I was able to persuade them that the path they were on was futile and to abandon their dark ways. The man is completely useless but the woman possesses a great power and may be actually be a force for good."
"Excellent!" Professor Dumbledore said approvingly. "You have done very well,"
"Thank you, Headmaster," Snape answered dryly.
CHAPTER 7
It was just starting to get dark when Buckbeak flew over the outskirts of Middleton. They stopped to let Ron off first.
"You came through again, my man!" Ron declared. "Rule Britannia! And all that."
"Um, yeah, right. Thanks for all your help, Ron," Harry told him.
Ron slapped Harry on the back. "Tell the Big Dude I said you deserve a promotion!"
He turned to go in and Rufus climbed out of the pile of coats and blankets to join him. "Later, KP," Ron called over his shoulder.
"Be seein' ya," Rufus added. He looked back and winked at Harry.
Kim waved at them. "See ya, guys!"
Buckbeak made a perfect landing in the Possible driveway. Kim slid off, grabbed her parka and made sure she had her Kimmunicator. Harry walked her to the front door.
"My dad's probably inside just waiting to freak out 'cause I've been gone three days." Kim said ruefully. She looked over at Harry and smiled. "Of course I might never have made it back if it hadn't been for you."
Harry swallowed hard. "I - I was glad to do it. Call on me anytime."
"Thanks. I hope we see each other again before school starts," Kim said.
She turned to go into the house, then stopped short, dropped her things and ran back to Harry. It was like a kind of magic when Kim reached up and put her arms around his neck. "You really saved my life. Thank you."
Instinctively, Harry slid his arms around Kim's waist and pulled her close to him. "I wanted to, more than I've ever wanted anything." They looked deep into each other's eyes. "You are a very special person to me," Harry told Kim.
"You're special, too," Kim replied softly. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world when their lips met and molded together in a tender kiss.
"Great jumping rocket boosters!" Mr. Dr. Possible exclaimed, peering through the picture window in the living room. "Kim and some - some boy are kissing right on our front steps!"
"Oh, are they?" Mrs. Dr. Possible said casually. "I'm glad she's finally home. I was starting to get worried about her."
Jim and Tim rushed over to join their father at the front window. "Ooooohh, gross!" Tim declared, with typical 11-year old disgust.
"Yeah, real gooshy stuff!" Jim made an unbecoming face.
Mrs. Dr. Possible stepped in and gave her twin sons a meaningful look. They interpreted it correctly and faded back into the kitchen without another word.
Mr. Dr. Possible scowled deeply. "If I've told Kimmie-Cub once about staying away from boys, I've told her -"
"Honey, Kim is going to be sixteen in less than a month," Mrs. Dr. Possible interrupted. "Don't you think you need to be getting used to boys?"
Mr. Dr. Possible waved this suggestion aside. "Nonsense, Em! Kim won't be sixteen until August! That's months away!"
For one of the few times in her life, Emily Possible lost her cool. "Kimball, today is the last day of July! The first day of August is tomorrow and Kim turns sixteen on the seventeenth! Now you are just going to have to deal, okay?!" She stalked off, leaving her husband staring after her with his mouth hanging open.
It was way past midnight when Harry and Buckbeak finally arrived back at Millstone Manor. Harry's head still ached and he was so tired he could barely put one foot in front of the other. At the same time, he felt more alive than he'd ever felt before. Harry whistled softly as he led the hippogriff back to the stable.
They didn't see Mr. Moulterd until Harry ran straight into him. The old man swayed dizzily on his feet. "Eh, what're tha' doin' a-creepin' 'round here long after good folk are a-bed?" he screeched angrily. "Tha' young limb o' Satan, iffen tha'rt one o' mine, I'd give tha' a good hidin', I would!"
Buckbeak was as weary as Harry, and he'd made up his mind he didn't like Mr. Moulterd. He reared up and screamed fiercely at this rude speech. "Buckbeak, no!" Harry shouted.
Mr. Moulterd peered cross-eyed at Harry's pet. "Now, where did tha' get a herse 'round 'bouts here?" he muttered. He stumbled a step closer and tried to focus his eyes for a second look. Buckbeak snapped his beak ferociously, just to warn him away.
"Ohhh, Lor'!" Mr. Moulterd shrieked hoarsely. He threw up his hands, dropping the heavy sack he'd had slung over his shoulder. "My Lor' I nivver! I nivver will 'gain, I swear't!" He staggered backwards and collapsed heavily on the wet grass.
The coarse burlap bag he had been carrying opened and a sleek black head poked cautiously out of it. "Is it free that I am?" hissed a breathy voice in a broad Yorkshire accent. "Aye, Finally free! An' praise be, not too far from me home."
A large snake slithered out and shook her long body loose from the sack. She turned her blunt head from side to side to get her bearings and spotted Harry. "Eh, tha' daft boy! Lay hand on me an' I lay tha'll regret it! I'm just in th' mood after bein' stuffed in yon filthy oat bag f'r hours, so tha'd best not have a go at me!" Her eyes glittered dangerously in the moonlight.
Harry answered her in Parseltongue. "I'm not the one who wants to hurt you. That man has been playing tricks to try and make us leave. I'm very sorry you had to get involved."
The snake seemed surprised and lowered her head. "He's a right old divvil, th' old sod! Canst tha' smell th' burnin' water on him? Tha' steer clear o' that one, lad. I know tha'rt o' th' Wizardin' World else tha'd not be speakin' wi' th' like o' me."
"You'd better steer clear too and leave before he wakes up," Harry told her.
"He'll not have a second chanst at me," the snake vowed. "I mun get back to m' babes. Tha'd best hide yon beast afore he collects what small wit he had. I'm off!" She glided away into the night.
Harry calmed Buckbeak and took him into the stable to be bedded down safely out of sight. Hermione had very thoughtfully left some dead stoats, which the hungry hippogriff greatly appreciated. Harry left him there to enjoy his snack in peace and went out to deal with Mr. Moulterd.
Mr. Lucas was already there, bending over the unconscious farmer, checking his pulse. "He - he's not dead, is he?" Harry asked.
"Dead drunk, that's all," Mr. Lucas replied. He fanned away some of the alcohol fumes emanating from Mr. Moulterd. "Th' old pillock's got a bloody distillery 'idden down in th' cellar. There's enough rotgut there t' poison every Yorkshire county an' clear up t' Durham."
Harry wrinkled his nose. "I think the only one who's been poisoned is Mr. Moulterd. He smells like a case of Old Ogden's firewhisky"
"That's why 'e's been tryin' so 'ard t'get rid of us," Mr. Lucas said, "so we wouldn't find his proivate stash an' peach on 'im t' Mr. Grace. "E 'ad a ruddy great sack with him t'night."
"It was a snake," Harry told him. "She got out of the bag when he dropped it and went home to her babies."
"Thank God for that!" Mr. Lucas said fervently. "Just think if it'd turned up in Mr. Grainger's room!" He wiped his brow and shook his head at the thought.
"We may have a bigger problem than a snake," Harry said slowly. He looked seriously at Mr. Lucas. "Mr. Moulterd saw Buckbeak."
Mr. Lucas frowned. "Did 'e really? I 'eard th' noise. That is trouble then - double trouble, 'cause Oi'm pretty sure if 'e did see a 'ippogriff there was at least two of 'em!"
"I tried so hard not to break any of the rules!" Harry burst out resentfully. "And now we'll all be called on the carpet anyway. You just can't win!"
Mr. Lucas sighed. "Rules is dodgy things, Harry. Whoever's makin' 'em usually changes 'em t'suit 'is own needs. You did th' best yer could, so don't feel bad, mate."
"But if I've dropped Professor Dumbledore in it -" Harry began.
Mr. Lucas nudged him and pointed to Moulterd, who had moaned loudly and was starting to stir. "Let's not borrow more worry than we already got, eh?."
Mr. Moulterd sat up stiffly and clutched his pate as if he were trying to keep it from flying away from his body. "Eh! Me knob be ringin' like a fire alarm! That were a mighty powerful batch, that were!"
"Roight, you let me 'andle this one," Mr. Lucas said to Harry in an undertone. "Just follow my lead."
Harry nodded and Mr. Lucas took the offensive by striding over and jerking Moulterd up by the shirt collar. "Now then, yer wicked old sot!" he shouted.
Mr. Moulterd tried to cover his head with his arms and whimpered, "Tha' verse goes through me ears like a knife. Why does tha' be yellin' at me, what nivver done no harm?"
"No 'arm! Is that what you call scarin' poor old Mr. Grainger into a 'eart attack?" Harry blinked in surprise but Mr. Lucas shook the unfortunate Moulterd like a rat.
"I - I - I nivver did!" Mr. Moulterd chattered. He glanced up at Mr. Lucas with a guilty air. "At least - I doesn't think I did. I - I canna remember nowt wi' tha' rattlin' me brain about."
Mr. Lucas gave his victim a look of contempt that he could've learned from Professor Snape. "Yer brain is pickled loike a cocktail onion, that's why!" He dropped Mr. Moulterd hard onto the base of his spine. "You'd better 'ave somethin' more t'say to Young Mr. Grace when 'e 'ears about this!"
"Too right, and what are you going to say to Mavis?" Harry put in. "How are you going to explain to her that you've both been turned off?"
Mr. Moulterd's blotchy red complexion turned an unhealthy gray. "M-M-M-Mavis?"
"That's roight, Mavis! Oi'll bet she don't 'ave no idea yer runnin' a bloody booze factory up 'ere an' tearin' th' place apart when yer s'posed t'be lookin' after it!" Mr. Lucas growled. "An' now this! She'll be roight proud o' 'er old man, Oi dare say."
Huge tears ran down Mr. Moulterd's dirty face. "Nay, nay, tha' munnot tell Mavis! For her t'know her aowld dad's a murtherer - that I canna bear! I'll do anything tha' wants if only tha'll say nowt t'her!"
Mr. Lucas flashed Harry a look of triumph. Then he glared sternly at Mr. Moulterd. "Does that mean yer won't say nothin' 'bout anything you 'appened t'see?" he inquired.
"Nay, I saw nowt 'till you an' th' lad came on me." Moulterd mumbled. "M' pore noggin's empty as a hole. I dunt remember goin' t' th' aowld mon's room nor nowt else since I turned up yon bottle. Th' likker's addled me wits, it has."
Both Harry and Mr. Lucas breathed a huge sigh of relief. Apparently Mr. Moulterd had been too drunk to remember seeing Buckbeak. Their secret was still safe after all.
Mr. Lucas hauled Moulterd back onto his feet and turned him toward the farm. "Roight. You go 'ome an' sleep it off, see? We'll expect you 'ere broight an' early tomorrow t'clean up all this moonshine an' t'break up that still. Won't we, Harry?"
"Yes, and if you don't we'll have to come get you." Harry threatened. "Mavis will want to know why, I'm sure."
Mr. Moulterd tottered alarmingly but managed to stay upright. "I do swear, sorr and young mester, that iffen tha'll not tell her, I'll nivver agin touch another blessed drop, I wunt. Tha' may depend on it, th' both o' tha'!"
Harry looked over at Mr. Lucas. "Can we?"
Mr. Lucas narrowed his eyes. "Perhaps. 'Cause you can be bloody sure that if yer break that promise, we'll inform Young Mr. Grace - after we've told Mavis! Get it?"
"Aye, I do got it, sorr. Thankee, sorr, thankee, young mester. Thankee most kindly. I'll be seein' tha' termorrer, that I will!" Mr. Moulterd babbled gratefully. He tugged at his greasy old hat and lurched off toward the farm, weaving from one side of the path to the other.
Harry and Mr. Lucas watched him reel away. "Do you think he's really forgotten about seeing Buckbeak then?"Harry asked anxiously.
Mr. Lucas chuckled. "If 'e 'asn't, then th' shock o' seein' Mr. Grainger alive an' well oughta drive it roight out of 'is 'ead."
"He'll know we lied to him," Harry pointed out.
"We didn't lie," Mr. Lucas countered. "We just never got around to telling 'im that th' snake went 'ome early." He put his arm around Harry's shoulder. "Let's us go 'ome too an' see if we can't cover up that bruise before th' girls an' Mr. Grainger see it."
Harry suddenly felt very fatigued. "All right then. Come on."
They started walking back toward the manor. "Lucky yer 'air covers th' worst o' it. That's a nasty mark. 'Ow'd yer get that then?" Mr. Lucas wanted to know.
"I slipped and fell trying to get away from a woman with glowing green hands." Harry told him. "Wade and Rufus forgot to mention her."
"Cor, yer think they'd remember a bird whose 'ands lit up," Mr. Lucas remarked. "But still, you defeated 'em, eh?"
Harry nodded and grinned. "I played that tape Ron made me take, the one of my cousin singing. They didn't stand a chance."
"Good show then!" said Mr. Lucas. "Course Oi knew yer could do it. Oi knew it all along, Harry. Yer can do anything as long as yer put yer mind t'do it. Don't ever let th' bastards tell yer different, no matter what."
"I won't," Harry promised.
"Good. Come on, let's go wake Ron an' tell 'im what all 'e's missed," Mr. Lucas said.
Mr. Grainger watched anxiously as Young Mr. Grace tottered into the lobby, looking more at his surroundings than where he was going. Mr. Grace inspected everything very thoroughly and came back to the small line of workers standing at attention. "Well, I expected good things to come of this, but your results are outstanding. I don't believe the old place has been this clean since it was built."
"We're very glad you're pleased," Mr. Grainger ventured. "Everyone worked very hard."
Mr. Grace nodded. "Yes, I can see that. Even the cellar is spotless."
"Mr. Moulterd did most o' that, sir," Mr. Lucas said straight-faced. "Although Harry an' Oi did 'elp out some. An' Mr. Grainger did more than we did."
Mr. Grainger completely forgot his position and gave Mr. Lucas a surprised look.
"Moulterd and his daughter will be kept on, of course," Mr. Grace promised. "But I really cannot say enough for the splendid job you've done. There is no way to thank you for all your effort so I shall have to double your pay."
Ron and Ginny exchanged pleased looks.
Young Mr. Grace managed to make it to the door, stopped, and waved his cane. "You've all done very well!"
"Thank you, Mr. Grace!" everyone chorused back.
