Let's start this off typically. In a country that a five year old can point out on a map, everyone was freaking out from the most minor provocations. Someone sneezes, and one of the hot-headed characters has a spaz attack, taking the sound as an insult in their mother language. An obligatory Frenchman rises to the challenge to furiously grope and laugh at his newest victim as he/she/it/they struggle to hide under the table. Everyone ignores the throaty 'Hon hon,' and dive into their own battles and nagging, since it is easier to fight than to keep one's mouth shut and listen.
Miraculously, the meeting hall's doors burst open, and a wave of silence washes over the room's inhabitants. They all pull away from one another, eyes wide and mouths gaping as the newcomer approaches the table and chairs. He/she/it/they opens their mouth-looking mouth, and announce in their voice-sounding voice, "I know I am two hours and thirty seven minutes late, but I needed to make a unique and memorable entrance to get everyone's attention!"
Their other idea was to arrive on time, but first, for the most part, these meetings happen way too early for their liking, and second, the original plan was to drop a heavy book on the ground and scream as loudly as possible, but they decided to keep that as a back-up plan.
The reader certainly attracts attention with their hair-colored hair, and piercing eye-colored eyes. The total stranger that just barged into a very private gathering begins to blabber how "Everyone fights too much!" and "You're more alike than different!" and that is why, "We should all be super, duper, pooper scooper BFF's and prance gaily into the sunset."
For once in his oh so depressingly isolated life, a whispery voice whispers, "Who are you?"
Usually labeled as girl, not even a lady or woman, damn it, a little girl, claims to be one of them, a small patch of land that someone let their dog defecate on the grass, therefore should be recognized. Once recognized, the reader will somehow keep the attention and worldly matters on her, (any boy readers are now girls), and any previous topics and important things will be abandoned to pursue her. This passionate speech causes the reader to dance around all the 'hot' characters, squeezing their butts, rubbing their shoulders, and left the lesser favorites, 'evil ones', or even the other women plotting in the background, or they just simply die. Really, they are not mentioned amongst so many other characters, so nobody knows.
Anyway, while man-hopping, someone will come up with a genius idea to throw a house party, just like a college kid who's parents go away for the weekend, and since the reader charmed everyone with their paper bland charms, they will be invited. Once at the party, they will be fought over even more, except in a house with more corners and tight spaces to pin people against and closets to make out in.
However, sometimes, these ladies and gentlemen have brains. During the reader's passionate speech (read: verbal announcement of vile plans aloud, similarly to a cackling villain), the host of the meeting repeatedly presses a button under the table. They hiss, "Security, security. Someone call security! Another Code Cringe has breeched the world meeting!"
Big, muscular security guards throw the doors open and snatch the not-so-charming reader away. "No!" The reader cries super cute tears, but no one is lured by the sobbing. "I just wanted to be passed around like the piece of bland, unspiced meat that I am!"
The doors close, shielding the meeting from the crazed fanatic. Confused glances are exchanged around the room, bewildered more than swooned. The host clears their throat, and with a shuffle of their papers they brought to look prepared, they suggest, "Somebody lock the door, please."
