A three part one-shot based on the scene from Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl, where Elizabeth and Jack are stranded on the island with rum. This story is what would have happened if Elizabeth got off her high horse and just had fun with Jack and enjoyed the rum.

Rum disappears for a farrrrr different reason. A reason that pirate-lovers should expect, lol.

Madness and comedy galore!


Chapter One

"…Why is the Rum Gone? Pt. I"

Jack danced around the flames and so did Elizabeth, as they sipped rum and made merry along the sand. "You see, this is what being a pirate is all about."

Elizabeth looked at him. "…Oh really? I don't know if I'm inclined to believe that."

"Well, Miss Swann," he said looking at her with a lazy eye. "May I call you 'Miss Swann'? …I believe being a pirate is not about how much rum you have, but how much you can consume," he said as she drank up another gulp.

"You're too drunk." Elizabeth then sipped a long guzzle and clinked his glass. "Well, then. Sea turtles, eh?"

"Yes, sea turtles. Saved me life, Miss Swann."

"It's Elizabeth," she corrected. "Not Eliza, not Beth, not Liz, not Lizzie. Not…Swann," she said with a giggle.

"Ay, 'tis so. So I guess you know that I'm a great pirate—best of them all. I won't ever forget the day I met you, Miss Swann…"

"Me?" she asked, taking a swig of her rum bottle. It was empty.

Jack handed her another. "Ay. You and that Commodore—what a lug he is—and ay, I saw you, Miss Elizabeth Swann... in a corset, sunk to the bottom of the sea. You always had a thing for the sea."

Elizabeth laughed. "I know, I know. I said to Will once, I love the sea. I love it! It made me feel gleeful and happy, and I…" she looked down. "Shall we dance once more, Captain?"

"Why, yes," he said taking her hand. "We shall. And let's sing that song again—the one we came up with… The one we could teach to the crew. …And really bag eggs!"

"And really bad eggs!" Elizabeth said.

"Yes, really…really…bad eggs. And good rum." Jack danced around the bonfire and began to twirl Elizabeth. "Why yes, I do believe you are a great dancer, Miss Swann."

"Yes, I am often told. But I am beguiled by the reason why I am often conversed as."

"And I did not understand a word you just said, Miss Swann."

Elizabeth laughed. "And I did not, either. But I am confused to the puzzlement that makes you tilt your head and be frankly confused to the point of no return that makes you decide that you are undertaken by my comment…"

Jack tilted his head.

"…Captain Jack Sparrow," she finished with a smile.

"Ay. Now you're talking like a pirate! More rum!"

"More rum!"

She took his arms and linked them with his and they danced and danced until they fell onto the ground. Elizabeth giggled and turned to face him, her long hair all around him. "I ache," she said with a laugh.

"So do I." He faced her and rest his head on her shoulder. "You're quite energetic, Miss Swann."

"I told you, it's Elizabeth."

"Same thing," he said. "Rum…rum, Yo ho—the more you drink, the less you know."

"Interesting. So the more I drink, the less I remember?"

"Ay," Jack said. Elizabeth looked at him curiously. "I mean, nay. Nay. Not true," he furrowed his brow.

Elizabeth giggled as she took another swig. "How interesting," she said as she leaned into his face and climbed atop of him. "I've never noticed how tan you are, Captain Jack Sparrow." Ay, she was drunk. She let out a giggle. "And your eyes are so dark," she kissed his mouth without thinking.

Jack, who was underneath, was helpless under the young drunken girl. She pulled away and smiled gleefully. "Ay. I love rum," she said. "You taste like rum."

"Hah," Jack said. "We should drink some more."

"I believe you have had enough, Captain Jack Sparrow."

"Ay, I believe so. Everyone tells me so…"

"Yes. And I am telling you now. I believe you should stop. I will drink for you," Elizabeth then took a swig of the rum and drank for what seemed like a minute. Afterwards, she burped loudly. "Ay. Really bad eggs."

"You're supposed to be a lady, Elizabeth."

"Hah. I shall not, and I shall not be a lady around you, Captain Jack Sparrow." She rose and began to dance some more, her undergarment dress flowing around her. She then stopped and looked out to the sky. "The moon… I shall drink to that."

Jack looked up at her from the sand. "…Too much rum for you, you're just a young girl."

"Yes. And I shall drink to that as well." She drank. "All gone."

Jack laid his head back down. "Sleepy time now, sleep now."

Elizabeth fell on the sand beside him. "Yes, sleepy time." She snuggled beside him and laid on his arm.

The rum was still in the cache and there was plenty more where that came from.

- - -