DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Vampire Diaries or any of the characters involved.

CHAPTER 1

Damon sat in the overstuffed chair facing the large fireplace that was the focal point of the study. As he rolled the glass tumbler of Scotch around in his hands he watched as the flames danced in every different direction. There was no rhyme or reason to the way they flickered back and forth and he almost envied those flames as they burned and blew in all directions. He once lived his own life like that; never knowing which way he was going and never caring who got burned by him in the process. He lived his life the best and easiest way he knew how which was, basically, whichever way benefited him the most. Those were the days he had turned it all off, the feelings and emotion that just got in the way, threw caution to the wind and just let it all go. He missed those days tonight more than ever. He almost wished he could be that guy again. Unfortunately, there was something holding him back. Strike that; there was someone that was holding him back. No matter how bad things got or how enraged she could make him with her stupidity and ridiculous plans or how infuriated he became when she started pledging her undying love for his brother, he couldn't leave her. He would never leave Elena.

Realistically, he could probably leave at this exact moment and she probably wouldn't even notice. She was mad at him. The close friendship, with a side bonus of flirting, they had going on was probably on thin ice at this point. He knew that Elena was mad at him for sleeping with Rebekah but that probably would have blown over after a few days. However, when you compound that with the fact that he just turned her best friend's long lost mother into a vampire, their relationship was obviously going to hit a really rocky period. But, he decided, that was okay. She had made it perfectly clear the night of the Originals' Ball that she regarded his feelings toward her as nothing more than an annoyance and a problem that he needed to get over, so that is what he was going to do. He was going to go back to being the Old Damon. The Damon that drank as much as he wanted to, the Damon that would happily take advantage of a welcoming blood source, and the Damon that would more than happily welcome a warm body in his bed.

He wouldn't leave, though. He physically felt that he couldn't. For some reason he felt for all the people that were stuck living in this town that was nothing more than a hot bed for supernatural creatures. This had once been his home and he felt the need to protect it. He felt the need to protect her. He certainly wasn't going to fall all over himself just to make her happy or survive on the possibility that maybe, just maybe, one day she would love him the way he loved her; but he would protect her. He had told her once that he would always choose her and he still meant that. The only difference now was that he was going to choose himself as well. If she wasn't in imminent danger or on the verge of dying, he was going to choose himself before putting her needs in front of his own for now on.

For example, Caroline had called his cell phone to give him, and these were her words, "the 411" on the repercussions from this evening's events. Apparently, the judgey little witch was really taking the possibility that her mother was transitioning into a vampire badly. And for some reason, Bonnie was laying part of the blame on Elena and forced Caroline to send her away when she went to try and comfort her friend. Caroline had said that Elena was really upset and felt that someone should check on her. Caroline had said that she would go herself but felt that she needed to stay with Bonnie and her transitioning mother and had asked that Damon make sure Elena was ok. He had to forcefully ignore his first instincts to run right over to her house, pop into her window, as had become normal, and try and comfort her. That is what he would have done just 48 hours earlier but he was holding firm in his resolve to put himself first when danger wasn't looming. However, he knew she was probably hurting, and a part of him did want to make sure she was ok so he shot off a quick text asking her if she was alright. Her, I'm fine response, came quickly and without further explanation so he let himself be satisfied with that. He was not going to hover. He was not going to put himself out there again for her to throw it back in his face. He was not going to let that ever happen again.


Elena sat on her bed, with a myriad of emotions trying to consume her. She felt horrible for Bonnie. She had just reconnected with her mother after so many years apart and now she was faced with watching her mother turn into a vampire or losing her again; this time forever. She had wanted to be there for Bonnie tonight just like she was there for Caroline, when her father had decided to die rather than transition into a vampire, but Bonnie had turned her away via Caroline. She understood why Bonnie had done it though. All of this, all of the death and destruction that consumed all of their lives was her fault. She was the Doppelganger. Klaus had come to Mystic Falls for her in order to break the curse. After, when he realized she was the key in creating his army of hybrids, he had returned, taking up residence in Mystic Falls and bringing his family of Original Vampires and their Original Mother with him. They were all there because of her. And because of that everyone around her was also caught up in her personal nightmare. They were all pawns being used in this sick game and she had no idea how to fix it.

Flopping back on her pillows and climbing under the soft comforter on her bed Elena prayed for sleep to come. Sleep was the only place that she found peace and that was only because she didn't dream anymore. Maybe since her real life was such a nightmare her subconscious felt guilty interrupting her sleep and decided to leave her alone; or maybe she was just always so exhausted from fighting for her own life and everyone's lives around her that she just basically passed out at the end of each day.

Just as Elena felt the tension leave her body as sleep began to take over she heard the familiar chirp of her cell phone indicating that she had a text message. Hoping that it was Caroline with word on Bonnie's mom, or maybe even Bonnie herself, Elena scrambled out of bed to retrieve her phone over on her desk. She was a little deflated to see that it was not a message from her friends but from Damon. He wanted to know if she was alright. Her first instinct was to call him back and explain to him all the reasons why she wasn't alright; because she most certainly was not. She wanted to tell him that is was not alright that he had turned Bonnie's mom just to save her, and that it was not alright that he had slept with Rebekah, that none of that insanity in her life was alright; but she didn't. She did not want to fight with him for a second time that day and she definitely did not want to deal with the feelings that fluttered in the bottom of her stomach from just hearing Damon's voice. So, instead, she texted him back that she was fine and put her phone back in its place on her desk.

She had no idea what was going on with Damon and she had no idea what to do about it. She knew that Damon's actions over the last few hours had everything to do with her. She had thrown his feelings for her back in his face when he was just trying to protect her and that was wrong. She had never intended to do something so cruel to him but she felt smothered by him at the ball and she lashed out at him out of sheer annoyance. She had felt so bad about that she had gone to talk to him about it personally and walked right into the middle of his one night stand with Rebekah. She had yelled at him because he had slept with the woman/vampire that had just recently tried to kill her but deep down she knew there was more to it. She was jealous and she couldn't deal with feeling that way. There was so much going on around them that being jealous was probably the most petty way to feel but seeing Damon with another woman and knowing what they had done had practically eaten her alive.

Damon was her rock. He had been there for her all summer while Stefan was off the rails. He had been the person that had made her laugh and was there to pick up the pieces when she cried. Damon was the person that saved her and the person that she could count on to be there all the time. Because of everything going on around them and because of her feelings for Stefan that were still unresolved she refused to let him believe that there could ever be anything other than friendship between them. But part of her knew it was because she just wasn't ready to face her true feelings for Damon. She didn't know how much longer she would be able to continue on that path, though. She knew she was at the apex of a very strange love triangle and it was up to her to resolve it. She knew the logical thing was for her to choose Stefan, which she had essentially done, but he continued to push her away. The thing that confused her, though, was that each time she reached out to Stefan she prayed that he would come back to her but each time after he pushed her away the grief that she thought would overcome her was never quite that bad. Sometimes she was almost relieved when he walked away because then that meant that she would not have to look in Damon's eyes and tell him that she had picked Stefan over him. Deciding that her relationship issues were not something she wanted to deal with at the moment she turned and headed back to bed but as she fell asleep all she could think about where the two vampire brothers that loved her and how she ended up falling in love with both of them as well.


This is my first TVD fic so be gentle. I'm hoping the next chapter will be a little longer and have some actual D/E interaction.