A/N: Hi, guys, I'm Spirits and Shadows (obviously), but you can call me Spirit. I found this story because my sister, BoudicaFlamespirit (or Bou, as she will be called henceforth), found the sequal, The Birth of a Heroin, and urged me to report it. I then found the prequal, Wild prophecies of death, and immediately saw my chance to spork something-
Squirrelflight: And then you did so and informed the authors (yes, there are two of them). Now, can we get on with this? I'm on a tight schedule.
Fine, fine!
A/N: OMG guys this is our first story ever and we are SO proud of it! We spent lots of time editing and spelling it so plz leave some good reviews kthx!
Brambleclaw: Uh-oh, this looks bad...
Tawnypelt: Hey, at least they tried to make it good.
ALEEGANCES
Sparkleclan
Crowfeather: EXCUSE ME?!
Stormfur: Such a feminine name...
Squirrelflight: *glare*
Leader: Sunstar (Bttifull brillain goldd tom wif green-grey eyes)
Bluestar: But there was already a Sunstar...
Depudy: Lightstepfoot (Light sheecat with yellow paws)
Medicine cat: Gentle leaves (Leaf colored cat)
Tawnypelt: How can you be leaf-colored? LEAVES ARE GREEN!
Brambleclaw: And yellow, (dark) red, orange, pink and purple.
Feathertail: … Pink and purple? I've never seen pink or purple leaves anywhere...
Tawnypelt: Have you seen any pink or purple cats anywher-
GET ON WITH IT.
APPRENTICE: Shallow paw (white cat witff purplee eyes)
Mosskit: Purplee eyes! 8D
Sandstorm: Shallowpaw? Are they shallow or something?
Warriors:
Ashrain (Grey tom
Tony blossom (Ginger with purple and green strieps
Firestar: Tony... blossom...? Okay, that is the wierdest name I have ever heard, and I have heard some weird names.
Featherduste (Featherrry furrreedr shecat wit6h bluu eyes
Leafpool: Featherduste? Is that supposed to be Featherduster or Featherdust?
Mosskit: Featherrry furrreedr! 8D
Lavender town (Lavender she cat
Lionblaze: I'll be pointing out the weir parts of names for now, starting with TOWN.
Silver bell (Silve she cat
Lionblaze: BELL.
Hollyleaf: What's a bell?
You hit it and it makes noise.
Hollyleaf: Like this? *whacks Ashfur upside the head*
Ashfur: Avlavlavlavlavla! *tongue sticking out*
… No.
Fireblazesnow (BRITE ed and white and reddd and white shecat
Jayfeather: Fire and blaze in the same name? Overkill.
Lillyfurnose (A flesh colored cat
Cloudtail: Prettysilverflowerkitpawebon ygogocat.
Brightheart: …
Cloudtail: It's actually a name used by another troll in 'The Story of Prettysilverflower'. Go look up sporkings of it: It's hilarious.
Mudstick (A cat furr colored cat
Sandpond (A catr that has no gendeurr and is sand colorred
Snow song (A white tom with a eyes
Squirrelflight: With a eyes?! Not an eye, or eyes?
Bramblefur: Don't ask: This is a troll writing this.
Apprentices:
Beepaw (Highlighter and black stom
Facepaw (Tiger tom
Stormfur and Crowfeather: YO FACE.
Facepaw: Yes?
Stormfur: No, not 'yo, Face!' it's-
Stormfur and Crowfeather: YOUR FACE!
Facepaw: Oh...
Prickly paw (Cactus colored witrh lotsa spoines
Fuzzy paw (A vry fuzy ct
Moon paw (A very petty sheca with silver fur and white dapples and black stripes and gorgeous golden and gren and ble and yellow eyes that are very souldfull
Feathertail: A petty she-cat. Hmm.
Leafpool: Silver fur with white dapples and black stripes? Sounds odd.
Sandstorm: Beautiful golden, green, blue and YELLOW eyes? Hey, Author-Ladies! Gold is yellow!
Firestar: Souldfull? The closest interpretation of that is soulful.
Mosskit:...
Firestar: Full of or expressing feeling or emotion, according to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary.
Mosskit: Oh.
Overall Examination Result: A possible Sue. Further examination required for positive identification.
Queens:
Spark foot (age: three moons) A ho
Mountainbelly Always pregant
…..
Ferncloud: Sparkfoot is probably not a hoe. Mountainbelly cannot be perpetually pregnant, she's probably like me, a full-time queen. Sheesh.
Stoneclan
Leader: Waterstar A water colored cat with ambidextrous eyes
As I said in another commentary with Bou *coughthathasnotyetbeenposted cough*, water is clear or green. So being water-colored is not possible, because cats are neither clear or green.
Ambidextrous means that you can use both hands with equal ease. That has nothing to do with eyes.
Depudy: Frenzymcbubbles (Former kitty pet, name was mcbubbles) A fat brown cat that eats bvugs
Okay, no Clan would want a fat deputy named Frenzymcbubbles. It just doesn't happen.
Medicine cat: Oddwhiskers A shecat with a tonof wiskerss
Apprentice: Bluejaypaw A cat that looks exactly like an bluuejay
What the- A cat can't look like a bluejay! It's a bird!
Dovewing: Duh, smartass.
Warriors:
Owlface A cat wif a face like an owl
Bunnyears A cat wif huuuuge ears and she iss wite
Lordcat A huge fat cat who can fight like god
How do they know what gods are?
Spottedleaf: Shh!
Floatstep A cat whooo can LEVIYTATE
Le gasp!
[Insert random dead cat's name here]: Nyaaaa, nyaaaaaa, nyaaaaaaaa, nyaaaaaa, nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! *floats in accompaniment to dramatic music*
Darknessclan
Leader: Bloodstar A RED CAT WITH RED EYES WHO IS EVULLL111111! (BCUX HE DON'T LIKEEEE STREAACLAN AND DEY ARE AWESZZM)
What is StreaaClan?
Feathertail: StreamClan?
Firestar: StrawClan?
Spottedleaf: Maybe it's StarClan!
Everyone else: … AHAHAHAHA! *burst out laughing*
Tigerheart: T-That's the funniest thing I've ever heard... *wipes happy-tear from eye*
Depudy: Battlescar A really SCAREEDCDD tome
Medicine cat: Antiscoial A cat who hates everyebcat else
Lionblaze: ANTISOCIAL.
That's his whole name.
Lionblaze: Yeah, but it's odd.
… Touche.
Apprentice: Gothpaw A gvoth cat with bangs and blue eyes
Lionblaze: GOTH.
Warriors:
Emofur an emo cat
Lionblaze: EMO.
Ebony black a black cat
Lionblaze: EBONY.
Deathhawk fur leik a haw and a fether in iz err
Lionblaze: DEATH.
Horace former kittypete
Briarlight: Heeheehee, kittypete!
Deathsootheart A black tom that is black
Lionblaze: DEATH, AGAIN.
Shadowwings A bkack hat that haz ravennn WINGZ!
Eyeshadow she leiks EYESHADOW
Lionblaze: ...Okay, that name could work, except for the description.
Superstrong A VERY STROMG CAT HOO IS EVULL AND CANT B BEET
Lionblaze: Su-
Hollyleaf: SUPERSTRONG!
Lionblaze: … *death glare*
Hollyleaf: What? I was bored!
Clawedeye A CATY Whoo is clawrex
Iceyheartdeathglare A white cat with a a redf hert and a detshtly clare
Squrrelflight: That whole NAME is wrong!
Apprentice:
Swiftpaw he is swift
Brightheart: There is already a Swiftpaw.
Ravenpaw he I scretlu a racen!
Ravenpaw: THEY STOLE MY NAME!
Graystripe: … You're secretly a raven?
Ravenpaw: NO.
Bonepaw he looks like bones
YOU MEAN HE'S A SKELETON?!
Hoaxpaw he is retrded and has mentll disabalitties but hes a strog brave cat hoo doesn't leik ghiz claun
He is now one of my favorite characters.
Tigerstar: Why?
Because he's the least perfect of them all.
Nursing queens:
Blacksnow she is black ecdcetpt she is white
You mean she's a tuxedo?
Lionblaze: Well, it's better than yellow snow, I guess...
Pebbles forme kitty pette
Longtail: Why are there so many kittypets?!
Firestar: You got a problem with that?
Crystalriver she is crystakl colored eyes
… Crystals are lots of colors.
Cloudtail: THANK STARCLAN, IT'S OVER.
Squirrelflight: *vanishes because she's on a tight schedule*
Leafpool: I have to say, that was one of the worst things I have ever read.
Good, because there's about another 11 chapters of this to go!
Everyone else: *GROAN*
Scourge: Nooooooooooooooooooo... *dies so he doesn't have to do through it*
Firestar: … Wow. I thought he was the worst thing ever, yet he was done in by a fanfic!
It is odd... Well, that's it for now. Review it, tell me what you think! Thank you!
