Leaning heavily on the ebony round tipped cane, 94-year-old Kaidan Alenko walks slowly across the seemingly endless meadow towards the bench he frequents daily now. The birds are chirping and the spring breeze caresses his white hair gently. There is a group of kids playing tag nearby and their innocent carefree laughter draws a smile to his now wrinkled face.
Instead of sitting down on the bench, he gazes upwards thoughtfully, looking at the huge rain tree just 3 feet behind.
After having a good sensation of the refreshing air, he sits down and his eyes wanders aimlessly back to the group of kids playing nearby. It is almost hypnotising , listening to their giggling and the rustle of the tree leaves.
He is almost drifting asleep when he hears someone's steady footsteps strolling across the grass behind him. The rustling got louder as the person gets closer, finally settling down beside him on the bench without uttering a single word.
Perhaps he wants to enjoy the wonderful breeze as well, Kaidan had thought. Both of them keep an amiable silence, just enjoying the scenery in front of them.
After a while, his eyes trail down and notice the stranger is wearing a familiar dark blue fatigue pants that are tugged neatly into the navy boots. It is not strange for an Alliance navy soldier to come to this park given the close proximity to the barracks.
Just when he is about to dismiss this little observation, he suddenly remembers that this fatigue pattern has been long shelved 50 years ago to a pixel-pattern one.
As he glances up, the strangely familiar silhouette of this person and the manner in which the legs are crossed reminds him very much of a beloved person he has never forgotten in his entire lifetime.
When he finally look at the face of the stranger, his eyes has grown wide, scarcely believing what he is seeing.
Mira Shepard looks like she has barely aged. Her crimson shoulder length hair has been carelessly bundled up together in a hairband, her fatigues still fitting her to a T, just like how he has always remembered. Her eyes are of the same brilliant emerald colour and those are currently staring back at him with considerable mirth. She has her usual lop-sided grin and Kaidan almost feels like he is 34 again.
There are hundred million questions that he wanted to ask her, but as he stares at her speechless for a long while, he finally understands that it does not matter anymore. His time is nearing to an end.
After a long moment of gazing one another, Shepard finally speaks up, "You are not going to ask why I'm here?"
Kaidan gently lay his now frail and wrinkled hand on top of hers. Given the sharp contrast of his skin and hers, he is truly wondering whether he is dreaming this. But this softness, this warmth coming from her hand simply confirms the impossible.
Suddenly mindful that he could no longer sound as young as he used to be, he says with a soft hoarse voice,
"I think I have learn years ago in Horizon not to ask why, what or how. When I did, all it resulted was us turning away and against each other." Kaidan coughs a little. "Think I'm old enough not to care anymore…"
Shepard smiles gently with sadness in her eyes. "I… I didn't appear before you because circumstances didn't allow it. It was our… my wish to see you again…"
"…I'm just glad to see you again before I go." Kaidan gazes back up to the vivid azure sky again.
"You know…?"
Kaidan chuckles, "Of course… My body is at its limits. Garrus has already left for the bar in heaven. Think he's just waiting for us there now."
Shepard merely nods, not saying much. "…Did you live a good life, Kaidan?"
"Yea, but it wasn't easy. I really wanted to join you. But I wasn't sure. We don't know for sure you died. So I hoped. But many years later, I know you are not coming back. I was so close to pulling the trigger against my head, but I remembered."
Kaidan starts coughing violently; his bronchitis is working up again. Shepard gently lay her other hand on his chest, and the pain immediately ceased. Not knowing nor care about what she has done, he continue,
"I remembered that you are a survivor. Mindoir. Elysium. Against the collectors, the reapers. I don't know how to face you if I were to do that… So I continue to live. My students…still needed me. It begin with the little things… Just helping out with rebuilding Vancouver. Then leading the efforts to fix the mass relays. I desperately turn down the promotions, but after a while, I realise I could help more people when I have more authority. The… reapers helped a lot. It's funny how they were the ones who caused all this in the first place but now have become so indispensable in promoting the peace."
"There can't be true peace without any teeth…" Shepard simply states, seemingly to mean a lot more than she reveal.
Kaidan need not think back too hard on his experiences, for he agrees, "Yea… I learn that the hard way."
After another moment of silence, Kaidan probes, "Can I ask you one question, Shepard?"
"Yes?"
"Why appear now?" He asks. The question is not meant to be directed in sarcasm or anger like Horizon, but curious, more of an acceptance that she is here before him now.
Shepard keep silent for a long while before answering. "I was… working for the past 60 years. I helped maintain the peace. I was with everyone throughout their lives. I witness Joker's marriage to EDI, Garrus' death, and I'm glad he was happy with Tali, surrounded by his loved ones. I could only observe… but I was always there. After a while, the consensus voted for Shep… me to take… shore leave. So here I am."
"…You are with the reapers?"
"The reapers are a part of me now. Kaidan… I'm just glad... I get to see you again as well."
Kaidan's eyes start to moist as the realization dawns upon him. Even after all these years, the galaxy still weighs heavily on this woman's shoulders. And she is going to do so for all eternity. She will never have that white picket fence house that they used to joke about in bed, or even have a retirement that at least he has. She will never have that eternal rest that she so deserves. She will never meet Garrus in the bar up in heaven.
His throat bobbed, swallowing the tears that are threatening to spill. This is so like her to choose the hardest path so everyone could have happiness. He simply grip Shepard's hand as tight as he could, and she reciprocates by leaning gently on his shoulder and closes her eyes. The spring breeze descends again, Kaidan listens attentively to the rustling of the rain tree leaves.
The same tree that Hackett himself have planted 60 years ago in memory of her. Kaidan has always thought this is a stupid and pointless gesture, but now that he has reached his final years, this tree has always given the inner peace that he needs.
The comfortable sounds slowly lull Kaidan to sleep. He tries his hardest to stay awake as much as possible, fearful that he will never see her again. However, Shepard gently hushes him to sleep, singing her signature lullaby that she always does when he suffers from a migraine.
"I… love… you, Mira." He struggles against the darkness but starting to pitch in full force. "I never… stopped and I never… will. Till... the…"
Shepard gently kisses him one final time and whispers, "Till the end of time."
Author's note: The blue control ending where Shepard narrates broke my heart the most. The red one at least 'hints' towards Shepard's survival.
There are of course happier variations but this is how I interpret this line of ending. I always feel if Shepard becomes eternal along with the Reapers, Kaidan will be her last loose end that she would want to tie up. I wanted to explain how she can appear in her original form to be incorporated into the story, but meh, it's too long-winded.
Perhaps after bidding her final goodbye with Kaidan (and I tried to put it across as this is her last 'shore leave'), her heart would have 'officially' died and whatever that is left would be her compassion to steer the reapers in the right direction.
Hope you enjoy it! Please do review! :)
