Disclaimer: I do not own Glee

A/N: For those who read 'Hands of time' I am going to finish it. I'm just having a bit of writer's block, probably because of this story idea that won't leave my mind. Hope you like it.


She sat on the edge of the bed, her dark brown eyes glared down at the thin piece of paper that she's been holding for what felt like years, but in reality it was only a couple of hours. A couple of hours that she spent reading and re-reading the words that were written in blue ink and hand writing that she's admire and loved for months. The words on the paper taunted her and echoed loudly in her head as if the person who wrote it was sitting right there whispering it lowly into her ear. She wasn't sure if it was the words on the notebook paper or that she had been so stupid and naïve, that made her angry and see red. She should have known it was too good to be true the moment the writer of the letter said they wanted her. She should have listened to the nagging voice in the back of her mind and stayed away, but no she didn't listen and now all she has to show for it is the letter in her hands.

Rachel,

Writing this letter is the single most hardest thing I've ever had to do. It's killing me to think about the things I'm about to tell you, but I have to. I can't hide them anymore. I'm not sure where to begin. Maybe, I should start from the beginning, but even then I'm not sure where it begins. If I'm honest with myself I would have to say it began the first time I saw you flirting with some freshman the first day of school only to see her break down into tears later on that day, because of you.

I know what your thinking that was way before me and you even started to talk and what does that have to do with anything, but it has everything to do with it. Something inside me snapped that day and that's the day I decided I was going to make you feel the way you made others felt. I was going to break you, just like you broke that girl and all the other girls that you made fall in love with you only to break their hearts. You needed to be taught a lesson and I was going to be the one to teach you it, because it was no secret that you wanted me. You wanted the one girl who never gave you the time of day in all the years of sharing classes.

Slowly, I started to talk to you and show interest in you, but not much so you wouldn't grow bored of me and chase me. Soon, you fell into my trap and we started to date. It took a little longer then I thought for you to open up to me and trust me, but you did. When you did I knew it was only a matter of time before I got you to trust me completely and to fall in love with me and I was right, but what I didn't expect was to fall for you. I didn't expect myself to fall for the badass boxer who was tough and closed off around anyone at school who didn't matter, but all at the same time sweet, loving, caring, and romantic to me. The moment I realized I was in love with you, I knew I either had to come clean and tell you why I even started to talk to you after all the years of ignoring you or hide it and try to forget about it. I choose to hide it and at first it was easy. I made myself believe that my plan never existed. It worked for four months. It wasn't until the morning after we made love for the first time and you told me you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me, that the guilt and hate for what I done came full force. You made me feel so loved and wanted that I really thought I was going to die from it, but when morning came the self-hatred and guilt is what killed me.

Then I done something that made me hate myself more. I went to a club on the other side of town looking for something or someone who would help me forget. That night I done something I regret. I thought that if I went out I could forget about you and the things I've done, but it didn't work. Your all I thought about that night. I know, that doesn't change anything, because I still cheated on you. I really messed up. I messed up so bad, Rachel. I'm pregnant, I found out a couple of days ago.

I know your probably thinking that is the only reason I'm even writing this letter to you and your probably right, because I wanted nothing more than to just forget about everything and just be with you. To forget about why I even started to talk to you and how I was going to break you, because I fell in love with you. I should have told you everything from the moment I realized I started to actually have feelings for you, maybe then I would have a chance to fix everything, but it's too late now. God, I'm sorry Rachel. I really fucked up. Please, believe me when I tell you, I love you so much .I know writing this letter is the coward way out, but I couldn't do it any other way. God, I hate myself for everything I've done.

If, after reading my letter, you never wish to see and talk to me, I will understand. I cannot blame you if you hate me now. I can only hope and pray that maybe someday you might forgive me and give me another chance to show you that I really love you and I would love nothing more than to have you in my baby's life.

-S

P.S. I'm so sorry.

Te amo, mi caótico rocoso

She can hear the pet name being whispered over and over in her mind as images of her and the girl she loved each image Rachel's heart-felt like it cracked more and more.

Sighing she stood up, walking over to her dresser and laying the letter down by the small black box she put there when she first arrived home. Looking at the little box made her let out a humorless laugh on how stupid she had been to believe that anyone would ever want to spend their life with her. Rachel, gently took the box into her hands, opening it and looking down at the 24 K white gold heart-shaped diamond ring that laid snuggly in the middle of the box. Picking it up she let her fingers lightly trace over it as she silently read the engraved words on the inside of the ring.

R & S Always

Not only was their whole relationship a lie, the girl she loved with her whole heart was pregnant. Rachel's whole world was crashing down around her and there was nothing she could to stop it. Sitting the box back on her dresser, she grabbed her phone to send a quick text. I changed my mind. I'll be there tomorrow after school. She knows her sending this text is going to change everything, but she needs it. It's the only way things might be okay. Hitting the send button she heard her front door open and people talking. Putting on a fake smile she went to greet them.

"Hey, guys." She greets once she enters the living room of her apartment where her three best friends Noah, Dave, and Blaine stood.

"Rae." Noah smiles at her pulling her into a hug. "How was the workout?"

"Good as always." She says smiling up at him. "You guys go set-up the Xbox and I'll go grab the snacks."

"Sweet!" Noah yells, running over to the flat screen TV to set everything up.

Rachel shakes her head, chuckling a bit at how silly Noah acts sometimes, before disappearing into the kitchen to fetch the snacks and drinks. Even if her world is crashing around her, she's still going to put on a smile and act like nothing is wrong, because tomorrow everything will change. She just hopes that the three boys in the living room will understand.