Never made it as a wise man,
Couldn't cut is as a poor man stealing,
Tired of living like a blind man,
I'm sick inside without a sense of feeling,
I looked down at Bela. I could see it in her eyes. The same fear and lack of self-worth that I see everyday when I look in the mirror.
And this is how you remind me,
This is how you remind me,
Of what I really am,
Practically two of a kind. Her and me. Both of us are hell bound, and yet neither of us really care.
This is how you remind me,
Of what I really am,
Yeah, we're going down for different reasons. Mine are the same old Winchester style self-sacrifice and Bela's…
Well who knows why she did it. I would say that it was for some selfish reason, based on the way she acts…
It's not like you to say sorry,
I was waiting on a different story,
But if anyone knows defence mechanisms, it would be me.
I close my eyes and when I open them again I can feel a tear rolling down my cheek.
She's crying too. Not bawling, just silent tears running down her cheeks.
This time, I'm mistaken,
For handin' you a heart worth breaking,
I feel like the biggest jackass in the world now. Yelling at her about the Colt and pinning her against the wall.
And I've been wrong,
I've been down
Into the bottom of every bottle
Yeah, I know that she's done some horrible things…
But then again so have I.
I move back from a bit, letting her away from the wall. I wipe away her tears, and I lean my forehead against hers.
I can't help it, she's like me. Twisted, broken and dead inside. The two of us are simply empty shells of human beings.
"I'm sorry" I whisper, its barely audible. To be honest I'm not really sure what it is I'm apologizing for… The way I yelled, whatever horrors lie in her past or the fact that we're both headed down into the pit. Maybe I'm saying sorry for all those things.
These five words in my head,
Scream are we having fun yet?
I remember what she said to me not too long ago, "We're all going to hell Dean, may as well enjoy the ride."
Yeah, some ride.
I brush her lips with mine. This kiss is sweet and simple and probably far more innocent then any other kiss I've had.
She doesn't resist, she kisses back just as gently, wrapping her arms around me.
The kiss is over far too soon. I pull her in closer, my arms wrapped around her protectively.
She buries her face into my shoulder, and I can feel the way she's trembling. Despite all she's done, all I really want to do right now is protect her, keep her safe and happy.
I kiss her on the top of the head, and I wonder if either of our deals were worth it. Maybe at the time, but in the long run…
No… No…
Fini
