Okaay, so my friend Lydia and I were in the sun room at my house having a sleep over, right, somehow we started talking about twilight and this was the out come. You have to read it really dramatically other wise it seems lame. It's really funny though, so enjoy :3

"Edward, I'm leaving you, for Jacob's dad."

"But why, Bella?"

"Because, Edward, I'm in love with him."

"But, Bella, I can satisfy you in ways he can't."

"I know, Edward, but my love with him shows no boundaries."

"What do you mean, Bella?"

"Let's face it, Edward, the only beach around here you Cullan's can't go on."

"But, Bella, there is such an age difference."

"Edward, it's only 30 years. You and I are almost 100 years apart."

"Wouldn't you want to stay immortal with me, Bella?"

"No, Edward. What happens when the world ends? At least with Jacob's dad I'll be dead by then."

"But, Bella, wouldn't you want to stay young with me forever?"

"No, I'd rather get old with a cripple."

"Bella, please stay here, I couldn't stand losing you to those dogs."

"That's another thing, you're always telling me I smell like dogs, and Jacob's always saying I smell like leaches, I just want to smell like myself."

"You do, Bella."

"No, Edward, I don't. Anyways, I'm pregnant with his child."

"GASP! Bella, How is this possible?"

"It was very difficult."

"You cheated on me Bella."

"It's not cheating if it's love."

"Fine, run to your love. Run to your life of misery and pain. Run to depression, just know, Bella, I'll be waiting when your done being hurt."