Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

Synopsis: Evil!Dean Insane!Sam Despairing!John. Sam talks to his father after getting him out of hell. He had to do it. He had to change like his big brother needed him too, see?

Author's Notes: Plot bunny exorcism. Sam says goodbye to his father after getting him out of the pit.

What Would You Do?

"What would you do? If it had been mom, if mom had come back like this, what would you have done? Could you have killed her? Put her down like a dog?"

"Sammy…" tears filled John's eyes, if that was even possible in his state, as he gazed at what had become of his son.

"Maybe it was always our destiny…Mama, mom started it. She did. Don't act like you don't know. In one night she sold herself and me to save you." Sam ticked it off on his fingers, counting. "You sold yourself to save Dean, Dean sold himself to save me and now I've sold myself for him. It's just a different kind of death."

John trembled as his baby smiled up at him.

"I tried dad to fix him. I tried, but only ended up being broken myself…but it's okay. All those jagged little edges, they fit together with his. Melted down and made even stronger".

John could see the madness creeping back over the remnants of his youngest's sanity

"We're stronger now. All twisted and shattered and bloody, but we're unstoppable together." His mad grin turned on John "I got you out. I pulled you out and no demons got out because I told them to stay back and they did. And the ones that didn't, I ripped them apart like paper. It rained red".

The spectral man's mind glimpsed Sammy on a rare, good, Christmas morning. His excited, kinetic energy infectious.

"I know you had to see it all, that they made you watch. I'm sorry I'm sorry dad, so sorry that I'm not sorry."

He listing a bit now, speaking more to himself and John's hands are useless to catch him. He's never felt more helpless.

"I got you out and Dean kills less now. As long as I'm with him, he's calmer. And he listens." Sam nods to himself and then makes to grasp at his father, instead pawing at the dirt near the man's feet, desperate to let the other know that he had given his all. Had played every hand he could. "I told him dad. I told him I'd never forgive him if he ever hurt Bobby or Ellen and he listened. Swore he wouldn't and begged and sobbed for me not to leave him ever. So I haven't. And I won't".

The ache to touch his boy was tangible, though he was not.

"He broke you…"

"Yea…he broke me apart and put me back together the way he needed me to be, the way I needed to be to stay with him."

John felt himself tugged away to whatever was next. But he had to stay. He had to fix what he had broken, had to fix his family…He could just make out Sam's pleading, tear stained face gazing at him in wonder as a figure approached from the smoke. Blood flecked fingers settled into Sam's hair lovingly.

"It's not perfect, it's not good, but it's the best there is. We love you. Wherever you go, we love you. Try not to hate us".

John thought he saw the other figure's lips twitch upward. Words floated to him, the last he was aware of.

"He's so bright Dean..."

"I know Sammy. He's alright now…"

"Let's find other pretty things, okay?"

"Yea Sammy. We'll make them all just as bright."