Note: I just read JDH714's story Mormon it up, and it kinda inspired me. So now im writing a story of how Im in love with my bestfriend, even though im not. Ha.

I Never Knew

I never knew how I actually felt about my bestfriend. The way she didn't care what other people think, or the way she just let herself go. I always knew that I loved her though, but before it was more like a friend. I could never see myself with her. I didnt really, find her attractive in that way. I thought she was beautiful though. I loved the way she wouldnt let anyone call her Raquel. But before I did, she let me the whole time.

I didnt think I was into girls at all. Atleast thats what I kept telling myself. But now I know what I didnt back then. Rocky was Bi too though, she didnt care what people said. She was Bi all along. I didnt see how the same sex could feel like this. A girl to have feelings for another girl? It just didnt seem right to Rocky showed me different.

I never liked her in the beginning. I despised her, very much so. Sharing friends with her didnt work out with me. I wanted them all to myself. But that was then, years ago. I never talked to her before though. I chose my friends and she wasnt one of them. I told my bestfriends how I hated her, for reasons I never knew of. It wasnt clear to me until a few days ago that I hated her before she was everything I wanted. Everything id never have. Boys just couldnt compare to her or even get close to how she made me feel.

Sure I had boyfriends here and there, ones that really liked me. But they all let to heartbreak. For them of course. I felt bad, but not for reason of breaking up with them. Rocky came into my life and we did everthing together. I dont know one thing we didnt do together. We showered together, we wouldnt look at eachother of course. We would both turn around because then it would be awkward. And she didnt know how I felt, and I dont think she liked me back then. "I always loved you, there wasn't a day or moment in time where I didnt," she had told me. Of course I think she just said that to be all romantic and mushy or whatever but hey, I enjoyed hearing those words come out her lips.

I knew the moment I kissed her she would understand how I felt, and I had hoped she felt the same too.