My first foray in boosh fanfiction territory, heres hoping this goes down well!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except Lea


CRASH!

The small man holding the cards didn't even look up, instead addressing his familiar; a large, slightly mothy gorilla who sat opposite him.

"Got any fives?"

"Go fish Naboo" said the gorilla in his deep voice, and Naboo sighed briefly. There were heavy footsteps on the stairs and the pair looked up to see a man who was dressed entirely too much in beige as he addressed them

"Er, Naboo? Something's happened in the shop…" Naboo rolled his eyes as he got to his feet and followed Howard down the stairs to the Nabootique. It was a vibrantly coloured, well-lit shop with a lot of sparkly items. It had a piano and a large jazz section, and was basically an colourful, organised mess. On one side a shelf had been pulled down and bottles littered the floor, and Vince crouched over a small woman who lay on her back, her curly brown hair flung out around her. She was dressed in a richly embroidered red dress with a large leather belt round the middle, and she wore a headscarf in an piratical style just above her eyebrows.

"She just came from nowhere and collapsed" Vince said as Naboo hitched up his blue robe to kneel down next to him, he put two fingers to her neck and found a pulse.

"You what?" Naboo said in his vague way, sitting back on his heels

"It was just like that sir, she, materialised and grabbed the shelf before dropping." Shrugged Howard

"Hey Naboo," said Vince "is she a shaman?" He ran his long, spindly fingers over the complex embroidery on her headscarf "This embroideries genius, shes gonna have to teach me how to do it." He murmured. Howard looked irritated

"What wrong with her Naboo?" Naboo shrugged

"Dunno, she is shaman, from the East I think" he lisped

"How d'you know?" Vince asked, Naboo lifted up her wrist and turned it over. There was a black tattoo, a dotted line with various symbols, it ran all the way up to her elbow in a weaving pathway.

"Whats that?" Howard asked

"It's a flight pattern, I dunno why shes all the way out here…." Naboo trailed off. The woman hadn't moved, and Naboo turned to the large gorilla who had followed them downstairs

"Take her up stairs would you Bollo? I'll see what I can find out" Vince and Howard stepped back as Bollo easily scooped her up. She lolled in his arms like a rag doll, and he carefully manoeuvred her upstairs with a grunt. Her long skirts shifted for a minute, showing very small feet wearing dark red moccasins.

"….Genius" Vince said softly "I knew that look was coming in" Howard ignored him, instead watching as Naboo returned with a set of glittery coat hangers, an ornate bottle and a jar of sparkling dust. Vice was immediately entranced as Naboo waved the coat hangers and then threw the dust over where she had just been lying, shortly followed by the contents of the bottle, which seemed to be an odd thick liquid, equivalent to mercury. It formed symbols, hovering just above the carpet, and Naboo's eyes widened on his normally expressionless face.

"Naboolio, what is it?" Howard asked quietly as the small shaman rocked slightly on his feet

"Her names Lea, and shes pregnant" his voice shook

"So?" Vince asked, wondering why the shaman had paled considerably. Naboo raised a shaking hand and the hovering symbols swirled towards him, orbiting round his quivering hand

"….'nd, 'nd I'm…. I'm….the……."

"The what Naboo?" Vince said impatiently, flicking his hair out of his eyes

"…..the father" he said in a very small voice


Am very unsure if people will like this story, please read and review and tell me what you think!