All she wanted was a damn grilled cheese and hot cocoa with cinnamon! Was that too much to ask? Now here she was, Emma Swan, the sheriff, stuck right in the walkway of Granny's with her tongue stuck to a pole like a child trying to lick their favorite popsicle.
Only this wasn't ice cream, and there was no way she was getting her tongue free herself. "Ah, so it wasn't a myth after all," Hook said with a smirk. Emma rolled her eyes and held out her hand. "Thay upth," she mumbled.
It was supposed to be 'pay up' but the words sounded garbled coming from her half-open mouth. She had bet Killian $50 she could stick her tongue onto the pole and pull it off just as easily. Oh how wrong she was. It turns out that funny little scene in A Christmas Story wasn't so fun when it was happening in real life.
Killian simply shook his head and flashed that annoying little smirk of his. "Get yourself unstuck and then we'll talk." He then proceeded to taunt her by holding out the wrinkled bill right out of her reach.
"Your girlfriedth ith going to kick your ath!" She yelled, referring to Belle, Killian's new lover.
It turns out she and the devilishly handsome pirate (or so he thought) were better off as friends, and both seemed to prefer it that way. It was a lot more fun drinking the man under the table and then dropping him off at his ship rather than having to care for him, and Killian enjoyed teasing her mercilessly like a brother would like he was doing right now.
"I need helpth!" Emma shrieked as the metal tore at her taste buds. She would be lucky if she ever had the ability to taste food again after this. Oh how she took Granny's famous homemade food for granted. Goodbye, coffee. Goodbye, burgers. Goodbye-
"Miss Swan."
Emma winced as she heard her name coming from that familiar mouth. She can now add public humiliation to the list of reasons why she was going to kick Hook's ass. It couldn't have been Jefferson or Whale, no. It had to be none other than the mayor herself, coming to witness her down fall.
Plus, Regina was low-key her girlfriend (or at least she acted like it) so that didn't help matters. "What have you gotten yourself into?" Regina asked, arms crossed and foot tapping impatiently on the ground.
God, could she be any more endearing- er, annoying? Just get the hot water and help her already!
"I beth Killian fifty buckth I could geth my tongue unsthuck. Thath what I'm trying to do," Emma answered. "But thith really hurth now!"
A small smile appeared on the brunette's face. She was enjoying this far too much.
"Have you tried pulling?" Regina spoke as if she was talking to a small child.
Emma answered her question by pulling as hard as she could. The only thing she succeeded in was causing it to bleed more. Ice had formed around the area, making it impossible to pull off.
Tears started to form in her eyes. It had only been about 20 minutes, but it felt like hours. All she wanted was to go home – well, Regina's, she just lived there oh who was she kidding, home – and sleep for hours. But knowing Killian and Regina, she'd be stuck for a while yet.
"Really, Emma? This is how you are choosing to spend Storybrooke's snow day? If you hadn't chosen to be so foolish, I might have offered to buy you lunch. A grilled cheese and some hot cocoa sound absolutely delicious right now. I think I'll go have myself a bite to eat. Killian, did you want anything?"
Emma growled as she listened to Regina's speech. And the woman thought she was acting childish. Regina didn't even like grilled cheese!
"I'll take some rum if you can swipe it," Hook answered with a wink. Emma would have smiled if she could have as she watched Regina's smile morph into a frown. "Black coffee is the closest you're going to get," Regina drawled before sauntering inside.
She returned a few minutes later with a to-go bag of food in hand. Emma whimpered as she caught a whiff of the freshly made lunch.
"I think I am going to sit out here and enjoy the scenery," the mayor said, wiping off a snow-covered patio chair for herself. Emma glared at her as she pulled out a tinfoil wrapped sandwich. Regina simply smiled and bit into it. Oh, she was going to pay.
"Good afternoon, Madame Mayor. Sheriff Swa- "Archie cut himself off as he noticed Emma's predicament. "Oh. Do you- do you need some help there, Emma?"
"No thank you," Emma answered. She wasn't going to give Regina the benefit of the doubt. She would win her fifty dollars, kick some pirate ass, and retain her dignity.
The man nodded somewhat awkwardly before heading inside of the diner. Killian leaned against the railing, watching with amusement as Emma yanked and tried to manipulate her tongue off the frozen pole. "Give it up, Swan. I think I've won this round."
Emma stomped her boot onto the snow-covered walkway, mumbling out a protest. If Regina hadn't gotten herself involved she might just be free by now. Damn that woman and her unrelenting control over her. They might as well get married, seeing as how Regina acted like more of a wife than a friend.
"Hey moms!" Henry strolled up to them, hand in hand with his girlfriend Grace. "What's going on?" He asked as he saw one mother with her tongue stuck, and the other not doing anything about it.
Emma felt her cheeks burning. Henry was supposed to see her as the invincible mom, the one who chased down bad guys and saved the day, and here she was brought down by an inanimate object.
"Do tell, Emma dear," Regina said with a chuckle. Henry looked at his eldest mother in wary confusion. "Did you do this to her?"
This time, a strained laugh escaped Emma's throat. Oh this was totally worth it. "I most certainly did not," Regina snapped, throwing down her barely touched sandwich and glaring at the adorable blonde. "Em-ma got herself stuck all on her own. This serves as a lesson, Henry. Don't do stupid things for money."
"I can go get Granny…" Henry suggested. "I've got it handled, dear. Just go enjoy your day," Regina said. Henry nodded and pulled Grace along. "It was nice to see you Grace!" The brunette called after them. "Thye Grace," Emma said. The girl gave them an awkward smile and followed Henry down the street.
"Now where were we? Oh yes, I was enjoying Granny's delicious grilled cheese," Regina teased.
Tears froze on Emma's reddened face. She was sick of this. She knew that Regina wouldn't let her suffer forever, but this seemed like cruel and unusual punishment.
"Regina pleathe justh help me get my tongue unsthuck. I don't care about the money anymore," she pleaded.
A look of sympathy crossed the mayor's face. "I suppose you've suffered long enough," she said with a sigh. Then she held up her phone and took a quick picture. "But you are never going to live this down."
"Come on, boys! We got a sheriff to save!" Leroy's booming voice echoed down the street. "Oh no," Emma said, frantically pulling at her tongue. The whole town would surely know what an idiot she was with Leroy's big mouth.
"Don't worry, Emma. We're here to save the day," Leroy said, holding up a chainsaw while the rest of the 6 help up axes. "Henry told us you were stuck."
"No, no I'm fine," Emma said quickly. She certainly didn't want a chainsaw next to her tongue. Leroy didn't hear her over the sound of the chainsaw starting up with a loud growl. The door of the diner burst open and Granny bustled out with a line of people behind her.
"What in the heck is going on here? Were you just about to cut into my restaurant?!" The older woman demanded, looking from Emma to the dwarves. "Well, yeah," Leroy answered with a raised eyebrow. "How else are we supposed to free her?"
Ruby's laughter interrupted her. The waitress doubled over and gasped as she fought to catch her breath. "For god's sakes," Granny muttered. Ruby yelped as the woman wacked her on the back of her head. "Go get some hot water and the first aid kit and quit your laughin'. I don't much appreciate people acting like a bunch of foolish kids near my restaurant."
Ruby quickly shut up and ran inside to do what she was told. Now a huge crowd had gathered to see the scene. "Thake a picthure it will last longer," Emma said loudly. Her cheeks burned as some citizens did just that.
Ruby returned with the supplies and Granny quickly took charge. Emma whimpered as the woman came near. She wasn't the gentlest person in the world, and this wouldn't be a painless task. "Oh, quit whining. I haven't even touched you yet," Granny scolded her. "Serves ya right. You won't do this again I'll bet."
Emma mumbled out an agreement and cried out as the hot water was poured on. "Be careful!" Regina snapped, the teasing side of her gone now that Emma was in hands other than her own. Although Regina would never admit it in a million years, she secretly liked taking care of Emma.
Maybe that was because she secretly liked the sheriff. She had offered her a place to stay when her parents became too suffocating, she pretended not to know about Henry and Emma's scary movie nights, and she always had a to-go cup of coffee waiting every morning for Emma to take to work.
And maybe, just maybe, she had faked having a nightmare so she could sleep with Emma one night. And that one night had turned into several nights. Soon, Henry started poking his head in Regina's room instead of both of theirs to wish them good morning, knowing where Emma would be.
But things hadn't changed that much. Regina was still naggy as ever, and Emma still got in under the mayor's skin. Perhaps what was most hilarious of all is they knew all of this. They knew each other's secrets without telling one another, and so they pretended to remain obnoxiously unaware.
With a final cry of pain and a sharp tug, Emma was free. The crowd clapped politely and Regina stepped forward to examine the blonde's mouth. It hurt so much she wasn't able to close it. She tasted blood, and she knew it wasn't a pretty sight.
Granny shoved the first aid kit in Regina's hands. "Now go home, stick some cotton in your mouth, and stay out of trouble," the older woman said. "Thankth, Granny," Emma said with her swollen tongue.
"It doesn't feel good, does it?" Regina asked, although her tone was no longer condescending. "No," Emma said with a sniffle.
Regina patted her arm, then slid her arm around the blonde's back to comfort her. Emma leaned into her touch, feeling like a 5-year-old again with a scraped knee. She was feeling cranky and sad, and she just wanted someone to kiss it better. Well, maybe not literally. That would be gross. And painful. But maybe another day she'd try to weasel Regina into it.
"Emma, are you alright? I heard Leroy yelling from clear inside the library and thought I would check out the crisis," Belle said, coming to join them. "Yeah," the sheriff answered with a sigh.
Belle's gaze fell behind them onto the pirate leaning nonchalantly against the pole Emma was stuck against. "You had something to do with this Killian, didn't you?" The brunette beauty asked.
The man's eyes widened, and he coughed into his hand. "I- I might have had something to do with it," he admitted. Emma giggled at the man's submissiveness. Belle sure had him on a short leash.
The librarian caught sight of the bill in his hand and marched over, ripping it away from him. "Here you go, Emma," she said, handing the blonde the $50. "I'm sorry for him. He likes to cause trouble, as you well know."
"Oh, don't feel too bad," Regina spoke up, pulling Emma even closer. "Emma wasn't innocent either."
Hook gazed wistfully at his bill as his girlfriend dragged him away. "But- but I won- "
"I don't want to hear it, Killian," they could hear Belle snap just before they were out of earshot.
Emma grinned as best she could and wiggled her eyebrows. "I still won fifty buckth."
Regina chuckled at her and slowly pulled the bill away, tucking it into her coat. "Oh no, dear. You have to earn that back."
Emma frowned but followed her along to the mansion. "It hurth," she complained as Regina popped an ice cube into her mouth and clamped her mouth shut. "Oh you poor baby. Do you want me to kiss it better?" The older woman teased.
Emma went to speak but Regina shushed her. "Don't answer that," she said with a slight smile. If only she knew what Emma had been thinking earlier.
Once the ice was gone, gauze was shoved in to stop the bleeding. "Look at you, Emma. You're practically blue. Come on upstairs," Regina tsked.
Emma diligently followed her to the bedroom. "I wouldn't be if you hadn't have left me there to freeze!" She argued, glad to find the swelling had gone down enough so she could talk normally.
Regina rolled her eyes and tossed her a pair of fleece pajamas. Emma couldn't help but notice that she had pulled them out of her own dresser, despite them being Emma's clothes. Yep, definitely married.
The blonde raised her eyebrows at the older woman, prompting the woman to put a hand on her hip. "Yes?" The brunette questioned. "Can you uh- turn around or something?" Emma asked snarkily.
"You are such a child, I swear. Just change," Regina said.
Emma stubbornly shook her head. Truthfully, she found the mayor quite endearing when she was bossy. And Emma loved being the one to resist and make that vein in her forehead stand out. It was just how they were. Emma was the carefree and fun one, and Regina was the… mother hen, to put it nicely.
The blonde swiveled her finger to indicate the woman to turn around. Regina huffed but did as Emma wished. To annoy the mayor even further, Emma changed as slowly as possible. Regina finally turned around as she was pulling the shirt over her head.
The sheriff actually laughed as Regina stepped forward and yanked the shirt down. "You are infuriating. You need more of my attention than Henry," the brunette remarked. "And what is so wrong with that?" Emma replied smugly.
That shut Regina up. She grabbed Emma's wrist and dragged her downstairs to the den where she set her in front of the fireplace. "Are you hungry?" She asked. "I want a grilled cheese. But I don't think I can eat," Emma answered with a pout.
Regina lifted her chin up and pried her mouth open to examine her sore tongue. She gave the young woman an unamused look as she spat the white gauze out onto the floor. Emma put on a little pout and tilted her head, a sure-fire way to wiggle her way even deeper into the mayor's heart.
And it seemed to work. Regina's mouth curved up into a smile and she booped the blonde on her nose. "My poor Emma. Would you like a popsicle for the pain?" She cooed. "A red one?" Emma asked hopefully. "Only the best for my girl," Regina said.
Both women froze. Widened jade eyes met chocolate brown. A flicker of fear flashed in Regina's eyes, and Emma noticed. The older woman turned away to go into the kitchen, but Emma pulled her back.
"Emma, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking, I- "
Emma gave her a reassuring smile. "You don't have to apologize. I- to be honest, I was hoping you'd walk by when I made that bet with Hook. I wanted to impress you, but it kinda backfired."
"You don't say?" The brunette commented, regaining her confidence.
Emma blushed and looked down. "Do you really consider me… yours?"
Regina sighed; but it wasn't the type of sigh that warned Emma she needed to put her guard up. It was as if the woman was relieved to get some weight off her chest. Like she was finally ready to admit her feelings.
"Emma, you were mine from the moment you packed your bags and moved in here. You've stocked my fridge and cupboards with junk food. Your bug has left permanent tire marks on my lawn because of your inability to parallel park. You keep your underwear in my dresser. We share the same bed, and you've called this place home since the day you moved in here."
Regina paused to look over at the woman. "And somehow, although I thought it was impossible, you've found your way into my heart."
The light that shone in the blonde's eyes was so happy that Regina couldn't help but smile. And Emma couldn't help but wonder how Regina felt; if it was nice being the one person to make someone happy after years of being feared and hiding away. To actually be wanted instead of pushed to the side.
Regina made her way over to the freezer, digging her hand inside to find the last red popsicle Emma had hidden away because she knew they were Henry's favorite as well. And Emma couldn't help but stare at her. She was still the same Regina she knew; hot-headed, impatient, stubborn. But now she was someone who saw past Emma's layers and still wanted her, even with her broken past.
"So…" Emma drawled, hopping up onto the counter island and swinging her legs. "this means I get to convert my old room into a game room for me and Henry?"
Regina unwrapped the popsicle and popped it into the younger woman's mouth. "We've discussed this. Henry is already slacking on his school work without a game room for an added distraction. Now keep your mouth shut for once in your life and eat your dessert. I thought you were in so much pain because of my so-called cruelty."
Emma pulled the popsicle from her mouth and planted a quick kiss on the mayor's lips. Regina looked surprised, but her lips curled up into the tiniest of smiles.
"So if you won't let me convert it into a game room, how about a playroom?" Emma asked before putting the popsicle back in.
"What?" Regina said with a light chuckle. "Is this your way of asking me to have sex with you?"
Emma jumped off the counter and moved so close to Regina that she could smell apples, which she had recently grown to like. She was convinced the scent had to be some kind of perfume or a spell or something, but every time she asked Regina had just scoffed and said she was ridiculous.
"This is my way of asking you to own me completely," Emma said seriously, searching Regina's face for any sign of doubt. Taking that as her silver lining, she grasped the older woman's suit and pulled her even closer before settling her lips on her mocha skin.
The light shudder and quiet moan confirmed that Regina was thoroughly enjoying this. But as Emma snuck her tongue out to taste the woman, she hissed in pain and snapped back like a rubber band let loose.
"Are you alright?" The mayor asked, concern settling in her amber eyes despite her skin being flushed. Emma slowly nodded, fighting the habit to touch her tongue.
Regina hated the strange habits she seemed to have with her mouth, and always scolded her when she was caught. She didn't seem to mind the rapidly appearing hickey that the blonde had used her mouth to create though.
"Forgot it was sore," Emma mumbled with a nonchalant shrug. Regina scrunched her nose up in that playful way of hers and led her back to the den in front of the blazing fireplace.
Emma was silent for a moment before speaking. "So… is that a yes on the playroom? Or a yes on the game room?"
Regina leaned down and planted a kiss on her warm cheek, lingering just a few seconds longer than she usually would. "I'll think about it. Maybe I can think of a few creative ways for you to earn that fifty dollars back. But for now, I'm going to make us some hot cocoa."
The blonde pouted and Regina mimicked her expression. "Consider this a punishment for sticking your tongue onto things other than me, Miss Swan. Once you are fully healed, I will not be so kind."
The older woman caught her chin right underneath her finger, forcing her head up to meet her eyes. "Do I make myself clear?"
Emma swallowed thickly and nodded. With that, Regina released her with a smile and sauntered on back to the kitchen. Emma's eyes were glued to the mayor's backside with every step she took. This was by far the best snow day ever.
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