Maybe you are a machoist because that is the only way you can explain why you put yourself through this crap everyday

Disclaimer: House doesn't belong to me.

Masochist

Maybe you are a masochist (why else would you be working for him?) because that is the only way you can explain why you put yourself through this crap everyday. The constant taunting, mocking and insults don't bother you as much as they should have but instead it's the way he looks at you. He looks at you with indifference, no emotion reflected in his bright blue eyes. They are such a deep blue that sometimes you can't stop looking at them until the owner of those eyes glares at you. It's clear that you don't mean anything to him and that hurts the most. It feels as though you don't exist and the thought alone makes it harder for you to breathe. You want to scream, you want to shout because you don't think you can find another way to get him to see you and not have that look of cool indifference in his eyes.

A part of you wants to march up to him and grab him and force him to look at you. That should shock him because nothing else seems to. He thinks he has got you all figured out but he hasn't. He is no where near close to but that's okay. You don't want him dissecting your life into neat little categories and realizing that you aren't a puzzle anymore. That you are just a boy with a father who didn't care enough for you to stay and a mother who couldn't love you enough to not wallow in her sorrows with a bottle of gin. And now you are just a boy who doesn't matter enough to be forgiven, to be given a second chance.

You realize that you are to blame. You have never been enough and never will be enough for anyone to care or stay with you. You are used to this by now, used to being second best, used to being left in the dust. That's why you no longer hold any expectations. It's the reason you betrayed him in the first place because you didn't expect him to not fire you. So how can you still expect him to forgive you? Maybe it's because you want to believe he is different from others (and god he is, different, beautiful) that he won't judge you at face value.

Maybe he could see that you were broken.

Maybe he could fix you but than again how can he fix you when he can't even fix himself (he is broken and you wouldn't have him any other way).

The End

A/N: Yay, my first house fic! Guess who the character are, I'm sure you guys figured it out already. Please Review!