Love's Darkness

Spoilers: Over There 1&2, all of Season 3 but mainly Reciprocity.

Disclaimer: Really? You're asking again?


He didn't wonder why he was so aggressive, he knew why...he knew what was happening and although Walter assumed it was the weapon it wasn't...it was her and him.

His biological father had ruined his life, not by trying to take him back or using him for a weapon because he could have dealt with that...the man had used his love for Olivia and turned it inside out. Twisting it to suit his agenda, harming Olivia had been the final straw...she'd come back stronger in some ways but broken in others.

Olivia's alternate had done the most damage, she's taken his love and twisted it as well...not caring about the fall out or his emotions in the end. He knew shooting her would have felt right but they had needed her for information...however she escaped and with her the secrets she held.


He'd never loved a woman like he loved Olivia, solely without reason...he'd die for her. His love for his mother wasn't equal but it was up there, Olivia was his one and only love...the only person he felt he belonged with.

When she came back broken and hurt he wanted to hold her but the betrayal was too much. Telling her had been hard and he knew it would change everything, even loose her but he owed her the truth after so many lies.

When she pushed him away he broke...the anger he held deep inside surfaced and he did the only thing he could...find information. He had copied the alternate's hard drive before it could be taken and used it to get answers. Olivia's need to find them drove it further...his anger was so much he wanted to grab a gun, hop universes and kill both of them but he couldn't.

His anger was strong but so was his loyalty...to Walter, a man who was ultimately the only father he knew. To the FBI, who gave him a free pass and a new start, something he owed his life to now. To Astrid, who was the only one to help him when he couldn't handle Walter anymore and to her, to his Olivia. He had to protect her, save her...love her even if from a distance.


She was coming back to him slowly, laughing and smiling genuinely once again. The days before she had said they could get past it...he knew deep down they'd never get past it. She'd always carry the anger and he'd always carry the guilt...those two months would always be the unseen elephant in the room.

The only thing he could do for her, to love her when all else failed, was to end the war so she could have a life. He may not be the one she married or had a family with, his dreams of little girls with blond hair and deep green eyes who had no fear were long gone...that dream was gone as was the dream of holding Olivia in his arms every night. He'd never have her like that and as much as it hurt, it was for the best because in the end he'd probably break her heart by sacrificing himself.


He would get the answers she sought, save the world she treasured and allow her the safety of her career when all else failed. He wouldn't saddle her with Walter if he died, he'd already arranged for that with Broyles in case something happened. He wouldn't leave her responsible with everything...she needed her life, she needed the control and what he needed most was for her to continue to be the Olivia he knew and loved.

He loved her and only her...she was the reason for the change but he'd never blame her for it because in the end...it was all for her...

Olivia Dunham, the woman he loved more then his own life.


A/N: Just some inner thought on Peter...him knowing why he was changing and why he didn't say anything to Walter when Walter tried to tell him in the end.