Disclaimer: I own nothing of General Hospital. This is purely for amusement purposes only.
Summary: After Sam and Lucky start their affair, Jason and Elizabeth take charge of their lives, by putting the past to rest and moving forward. (Liason pairing.)
Pairing: Liason, Lusam, mentions of past Jasam
Inspiration: It was already irritated me at the time how everything somehow fell on Elizabeth's shoulder for the night of the blackout. Everybody, except Jason, held her responsible for all that went down when in actuality it was a variable of things that left to that outcome. Jason pushed Sam away way before his friendship with Elizabeth started to flourish again, and Lucky got addicted to pills and was already blowing up his relationship with Elizabeth. Sam being hurt, got drunk, and slept with Ric. That is on her. Lucky sleeping with Maxie, that's on him. What Jason and Elizabeth did was a result of that, and while it may not be fully right, it was justifiable. The aftermath was less so. I understand where Elizabeth wanted to lie to keep Lucky clean, but honestly, she should have let him fall flat on his face. A drug addict has to get clean for them, not for someone else. However, that didn't give Carly, Maxie, or Sam the right to treat Elizabeth like dirt at that time like she was solely to blame for all the mistakes that were made then. I really wished the writers had either Jason or Elizabeth step up and acknowledge this, and clear the air so everyone could just move onward instead of having every lingering in this limbo.
Blame is a Child's Game
By ThroughtheMirrorDarkly
"What do you think you are doing, Sam?"
It was said in that ice cold, unfeeling tone that put a fear in her heart which was more painful than words can describe. Only a few months ago, the man that voice belonged to was the safest place she had ever known. It made the anger and unfairness burn anew in her gut, and she turned towards with a scowl upon her face. "Do I even want know how you got into my apartment?" She asked, harshly.
"Sam," Jason said, his face expressionless, "What do you think you are doing starting an affair with Lucky Spencer?" He stood by the mantel with his arms folded over his chest, and he looked so far removed from the Jason she had fallen in love with that it made her sick to her stomach. This was the enforcer. The only side that she saw because her actions led to his softer side, and his heart to be unavailable to her. And she hated Elizabeth Webber for that. For a having a bigger part of his heart, and stealing away, leaving Sam in the cold like she didn't matter.
"Why? Jealous?" Sam hated the small part of her that wanted him to be jealous. The small kernel of hope that flared every time she saw him, that survived no matter how many times he said it was over.
"No," he said, bluntly.
Sam reeled back, hurt by his callous admission, and even more hurt because she could tell he meant it. "Oh? How silly of me. Of course, it's not over me you get jealous," Sam said, her face twisted into an ugly sneer. "It's over Elizabeth that gets you all mad and angry and jealous, isn't that right?"
"Don't make this about Elizabeth," Jason snapped.
"Why not, Jason?" Sam hissed. "It's about her, isn't it? She gets to pretend to be this high and might paragon of virtue by pretending to love Lucky, and wanting him to get better while making moon eyes at you! And I get tossed to the side, and have to live with the fact that even though you don't have the balls to be with her, that she as good as stole you from me!"
"She couldn't steal what was freely given, Sam," Jason said, a smidgen of sympathy in his gaze as he looked at her. Sam gaped, floundering at his response as if she couldn't believe what she had just heard. It gave Jason the time he needed to forge on, and clear up air, because it needed to be done. "Sam, I know you may not believe it, but I do care about you," he said, ignoring the huff of disgust that was thrown his way. "But Elizabeth isn't to blame for why we fell apart."
"So you don't love her? That night was a mistake?" Sam shot at him, glaring viciously.
"If that's what you want to hear, Sam, I can't tell you that," Jason said, with a sad shake of his head. "A part of me was always Elizabeth's. The night of the blackout was…the perfect storm, and it allowed me to give into that part of me that always loved her. I can't regret that, nor can I regret that Jake is mine, and I'm sorry that hurts you."
"Yeah, right," Sam rolled her eyes.
"Just let me speak, alright?" Jason said, with a sigh. "You can take what I say, and actually take it to heart, or let it flow from one ear to the other, that's perfectly fine. But I won't let the guilt control me any longer, Sam, and you shouldn't let your pain control you."
Sam gave him an uncomfortable look. "What's that supposed to mean?" She asked, her haughty tone falling flat.
"It means that when you are hurt, Sam, you lash out. It's the only way you know how to get past it, but you aren't moving on. You're holding onto the pain for all the wrong reasons. Sleeping with Lucky to hurt Elizabeth? It doesn't fill that void. I've been there when I started dating Courtney," Jason said, empathizing with Sam. "I was so desperate to show that Elizabeth leaving didn't matter, and that I could move on, only to fall head first into a disastrous marriage with Courtney. Don't destroy yourself over broken promises that I couldn't keep."
"You think that's what this is about?" Sam said, arms wrapped around her waist.
"It's what it should be about. Sam, I caught you with your stepfather. Elizabeth caught Lucky with Maxie, and all of us did things that led to the implosion of our lives. Elizabeth isn't solely to blame, and honestly, she shouldn't be the one you blame," Jason breathed out, running a hand through his hair. "Elizabeth owes you nothing, Sam."
"To hell she doesn't," Sam snarled.
"No, Sam, listen," Jason said, sharply. "Elizabeth wasn't the one you were in a relationship with. I was. Elizabeth wasn't the one who made promises. I was. The person you should be mad at was me, not her."
Sam's jaw clicked shut. Inwardly, she had been mad at Jason, but it was hard to hate the person you loved, so she chose Elizabeth as a target. It was much easier to deal with, and made her feel better for a time knowing that Elizabeth was miserable in her life, and away from Jason's.
"I can't regret that night with Elizabeth, and I can't regret loving her, but I can regret the aftermath. If I had been more of man, and went after what I wanted, or if Elizabeth didn't feel like she owed Lucky everything…maybe we wouldn't be stuck in this painful limbo that we are in," Jason said, his shoulders slumped with the weight of the world. "The truth is, Sam, I shouldn't have gotten back together with you after the blackout. My heart was in Elizabeth's hands, and I can regret leading you on, and hurting you like that."
"So you didn't get back together with because you loved me?" Sam said, her voice small.
"No. I'm sorry," Jason said, honestly.
"Then why, Jason?" Angry tears flooded her eyes. "Why?!"
"Because it was familiar. It was familiar, and safe compared to the risk of going after what I really wanted," Jason answered, softly. He pinched the bridge of his nose, and rolled the tension from his shoulders. "I should have took a step back. We should have took a step back, and looked at the faults in our relationship that have been there since the beginning. We were always going to fall apart. It was just a matter of when."
Sam felt as if he had shot her in the gut. "You can't believe that," her voice barely more than a hoarse whisper.
"I know it," Jason retorted, not unkindly. "Look, Sam, I am sorry that I hurt, but I'm not going to spend my entire life trying to pay for the past. It is no way to live. And…if you care about Lucky, truly care about him, then tell him to divorce Elizabeth, so you two can be together. Starting a relationship to hurt others is not the way you want to spend your life. You deserve better than that."
"Oh, if I go tell Lucky to do that in the next second you'll be panting over Elizabeth," Sam said, spitefully. She couldn't believe he reduced their relationship down to a doomed romance, and it burned her up.
"I'm going after Elizabeth regardless of what you do with Lucky," Jason corrected her, sharply. "I just want you to do what is best for you, and self-destructing isn't that. I am sorry, Sam, that I couldn't be the man to rescue you. I am sorry that I couldn't be your knight in shining armor, or the man that you needed, but I know he's out there for you. You deserve happiness, but not like this. Not at the expense of your soul."
Sam couldn't say anything. Her voice failed her as conflicting emotions twisted inside of her heart, and she trembled from head to toe.
"I just hope you realize that before it's too late," Jason told her. He marched past her and towards the door, only to pause for a brief moment. "And Sam if you don't have the epiphany you sorely need, and fall back into the dark place that I know you go when you are hurting and if you get it into your head to hurt Elizabeth or her boys in anyway, then you won't like what I do."
Sam turned around, chilled to the bone. "But you said you cared about me! How can you threaten someone you care about?"
"I do care, Sam," Jason told her, shortly. "If I didn't there wouldn't even have been a conversation."
And with that he left, leaving Sam feeling like her insides had been ripped out and then hastily pushed back in through her throat. She stood there, her mind whirling with indecision. She wanted to spit and be angry. To hold tight to the boiling rage in her gut, but her heart reached out to Jason's words, trying to take them. She knew her relationship with Jason hadn't been perfect, that they had both been flawed, but she thought they could get through it. It was always hardest to let go of something when it was something you always wanted.
It was like two forces battled within Sam. The voice of reason that said Jason had a point, and that her anger would only consume her. And her anger that demanded retribution for being made a fool. And what scared Sam the most was that she didn't know what side was going to win.
"What is this?!"
Elizabeth let out a deep sigh at the shout that rang through the house, and was grateful that she had the foresight to have Grams come and collected the kids. She had spent the last week, thinking long and hard about her life. About the decisions she had made, the good and bad, and realized that if she didn't tell the truth then she'd be suffering with lie after lie. It wasn't easy to come to realize that the life she had always dreamed of what not a life that was healthy for her, and the boy she had always thought she'd spend the rest of her life with was not the boy she fell in love with. And she wasn't the girl he had picked up out of the snow.
"It's divorce papers," Elizabeth said, tonelessly. She turned to face him, and he was more of a stranger than a person that she loved.
"Divorce papers? You are divorcing me again?" Lucky snarled.
"Yes, Lucky, I am divorcing you. I'm tired of holding up this marriage by myself," Elizabeth told him, giving him a sad look. "When I agreed to marry you, Lucky, I may have had reservations, but I was willing to try. I thought I owed it to you to try again, but you've had one foot out this relationship…and honestly, so have I."
Lucky blanched. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means that I stopped…loving you a long time ago, Lucky. I still care about you, and that will always be true, but I can't live in loveless marriage," Elizabeth stated, being honest even though she knew it had to hurt him, but lying would be worse in the long run. "I don't want to live in a house where I'm a virtual stranger to my husband, and I know that I hold some blame in that. I know that I'm not perfect, but I'm tired of being raked across the coals for every tiny mistake or perceived failure that I've done. That's not how our lives should be Lucky. We should be with people who make us feel safe, and wanted."
"And I don't do that for you?" Lucky asked, his voice cracked. It hit him hard because there was a time, Elizabeth's only safe place was him. That they had been two pieces of the puzzle.
"No, and I don't think I do it for you, either," Elizabeth whispered. "I know about Sam, Lucky. I tolerated it because some part of me believed I should be punished for hurting you, but the truth is, I have never regretted that night with Jason. It woke up my heart that has been sleeping for a long time, and I can't put it back to sleep. I can't put away what he makes me feel, and maybe that's not fair, but there it is."
"So this divorce is just so you can run to Jason?" Lucky snarled. "If you do that then I will make sure you lose custody of the boys."
"That will never happen, Lucky," Elizabeth told him, sharply. "I don't want to be cruel to you, but I will protect my boys. With your drug history coupled with the fact you never adopted Cameron, and you aren't Jake's father, you won't get custody of them."
Lucky grit his teeth together. He remembered when she admitted Jason was Jake's father in court, and at first, it had made him so angry. Afterwards, though he chose to let it go because he had Elizabeth, and was raising Jake, so he had that to lord over Jason's head. "You would keep me from the boys?" He demanded, harshly.
"I don't want to Lucky. You are the only father Cameron has ever known, but if you want to try to hurt me through my sons, well, that is where I'm putting my foot down," Elizabeth told him, not backing down an inch. "I have to think about them, and put them first. I won't let them become pawns in some hateful game you want to play."
"I'm not doing that," Lucky denied.
"You aren't? Could have fooled me," Elizabeth said, crossing her arms over her chest. "Lucky, this marriage is going to fail. We both are trying so hard to be two people we just aren't, and we holding on too tight that it's hurting us both. There is no shame in letting things fall apart," she told him, her voice softening with compassion. "Sometimes…sometimes, we need to let things fall apart so better things can come along. We once meant the world to each other, Lucky, and you will always hold a special place in my heart, but I…I can't do this anymore. Please, don't let us keep hurting each other."
Lucky's jaw worked up and down. He clutched the divorce in a knuckle white grip, and turned on his heel, marching out of the house. The door slammed with a thunderous shut behind him, and Elizabeth felt her heart sink into her chest. She had known that there had been a chance Lucky wouldn't see reason, and she pulled out her cellphone. She texted Nicolas and Emily that they needed to be with Lucky because she was afraid he was going to spiral back into his drug habits. A small pang of guilt worked it's way into her heart, but she didn't allow it to control her any longer.
She had let the fear of Lucky diving back into a bottle hold her back from admitting that their second marriage was a sham, no matter how much she had tried to make it real. She had let it hide the truth about Jake for so long, and had let it keep her from the man she loved. It was hard to let Lucky walk out that door, and know he could be going to buy some pills and undo all his hand work, but Lucky was responsible for himself. An addict couldn't get clean or stay clean for someone else, but had to for themselves. Heartbreak and mistakes were always going to be a part of life, and Lucky had to face them sooner or later. It was a bit callous of her, perhaps, but Elizabeth was tired of living a lie.
Was it not better to end the pain, instead of prolonging it? Elizabeth sat there for several moments in the silence. Nearly an hour passed where she ignored the phone calls and texts, not wanting to hear her friends get angry at her for not being Lucky's cheerleader. It was a knocking at the door that drew her from her thoughts, and Elizabeth slowly got up from the couch. Apprehension coiled through her because she feared with Lulu or Luke or someone else who would go into a tirade over her actions, but when she pulled open the door, it was no one who would do that. Instead, it was Jason.
"Jason, what are you doing here?" Elizabeth said, her heart clenched on the sight of him. She wondered how she had ever hid her love for him because it always seared through her every time she saw him, and her hands trembled to reach out to him, to close the distance between them.
"I am here to see you," Jason said, breathlessly. He licked his dry lips, and stepped through the threshold, his hands sliding into his jean pockets to keep himself from touching her. "Is Lucky home?"
"No, and I don't think he's going to come back any time soon," Elizabeth said, shutting the door.
Jason cast a curious look at her.
Elizabeth brushed her hair out of her face. "I served Lucky with divorce papers today," she told him, a slight grimace on her face. "I just had been going through the motions, and thought a lot about what kind of life I wanted. This…this painful tiptoeing around Lucky, and ignoring how he throws my past in my face every chance he gets, or throwing Sam in my face…that's not how I want to live. No one should have to live like that."
"I-is that the only reason you asked for the divorce?" Jason asked, not daring to hope.
A flash of pain crossed through her eyes, and she looked up at him, earnestly. "No. There is another reason, and I…I wasn't going to say anything, but I think I need to," Elizabeth said, gnawing on her lower lip. Her heart thundered in her chest, and she drew in a deep breath. "Jason…I love you."
She looked down quickly, and missed the smile that stretched across Jason's face. "And I know that you are still in love with Sam, and that's fine. I'm not telling you to make you feel obligated to be with me, but I needed to let you know because I didn't want to spend my life regretting that I never-mmph!" Elizabeth's rabble was cut off when Jason's hand tilted her chin back so he could seal his lips over hers. It was almost pitiful how instantly her body melted into Jason's, but her heart cried out in relief in finding herself in his embrace. Finding herself in the only place that had ever truly felt like home.
The world was a blur from that moment. Whispers of "I love you" and apologies for being so foolish for so long and praises fell between them as their clothes seemed to magically disappear as they made their way towards the couch. Elizabeth didn't want to use the bedroom, because she still had respect for her and Lucky's marriage even if it was doomed from the start. She didn't want to make love to Jason there. She wanted this moment to be purely about him and her, not ties to the past in any way. Skin against skin, mouth against mouth and hands that desperately tried to memorize every inch of each other's bodies. White hot pleasure wrapped around potent emotions that were finally freed heightened every motion and movement that at one point Elizabeth felt like she had flown up in the sky, and would never drift back down to earth.
In the end, exhausted, she lay limp against Jason, listening to the sound of his heart beating, her fingers happily entwined with his. "You love me," she said, with a grin that wouldn't go away. Her entire body sparked pleasantly, and she hadn't felt so happy and cherished in a long time.
Jason's hand ran idly along the curve of her hips, and he smiled, pressing a kiss to her temple. "You said it first," he whispered, his eyes closed. He looked the perfect picture of content and happiness.
Elizabeth laughed, lightly. "So…I love you. You love me, but where does that leave after all this? You came over to see me…does that mean that you want to be with me?" She asked, half afraid of the answer. She didn't want to have fleeting moments with Jason. She wanted all or nothing, but she had to know what he expected this to be to.
"All on me, huh?" Jason asked, lightly.
"Should it be all on me?" Elizabeth retorted, gently.
Jason hummed, underneath his breath. "I want this. I want to be with you. I want to be free to love you, and have you in my life," he said, honestly. "I don't want to hide what I feel for you, and I am prepared to fight if you are."
Elizabeth felt her heart swell in her chest. "I was always prepared, Jason. I just needed to know that you felt the same way," she told him, and lifted her head to press a kiss to his lips. Then another, and another, until things once again got heated between them. Not that either of them minded. No, they didn't mind one tiny bit.
Of course when the news spread around Port Charles, it turned the whole world on it's head given the reaction it got. Lulu Spencer had cornered Elizabeth at her work, calling her every horrible name in the book that was synonymous with 'gold digger' before Monica Quartermaine ordered her taken out of the hospital. A restraining order had been filed against the youngest Spencer, and she was no longer able to receive medical care at General Hospital since she couldn't help herself from acting her ex-sister in law. The divorce was quickly pushed through, thanks to Diane magically ways when it came to the law, and Lucky got supervised visitation with boys. That quickly fell apart when the supervisor noted he was on drugs again, and Luke had taken Lucky from Port Charles for rehabilitation this time, hoping that removing him from the chaos would help him and give him time to think about things.
Sonny was surprisingly supportive, stating that it was only a matter of time before him and Elizabeth hadn't gotten their act together. Carly on the other hand was vicious, and tore into Elizabeth, and even went as far as to try to make it look like Elizabeth had messed with the paternity results. However, her plan was brought to light by the most unexpected person. Sam had figured out what the blond was up to, and had told Jason about it. Sam, after the talk Jason and her had, started therapy with Kevin Collins. She had been forced to confront how she would contort herself according to the man that she was with, and how building her entire world around Jason had been unhealthy. Sam had decided to leave Port Charles, and continue her therapy elsewhere. She still felt angry and hurt at the sight of Elizabeth and Jason, and she didn't want to backslide into that ugly place she had been in.
Nicolas and Emily split up. Nicolas couldn't seem to get past what Elizabeth did to Lucky, and Emily just couldn't handle the hypocrisy. It hurt, but a man named Dante had soothed over the hurt, and was doing his best to woo Emily with everything from roses, to singing, to dinner. Emily couldn't remember anyone ever making such an effort to romance her like this, not even Nicolas. It was more endearing, and Emily was easily swept away. Nicolas left Port Charles soon after realizing what he had lost, and last they had heard he was in Paris.
Jason and Elizabeth married each other the following year, and while life was never perfect, it was pretty damn close.
Thank you so much! Hope you enjoyed. :D
