Rocked and Rolled
K Hanna Korossy

Dean had opened his mouth twice already, then rethought it. Sam was braced by the time his brother actually went for it and said what was on his mind.

"Would it be so bad?"

Okay, so he'd been expecting something a little less cryptic. Sam frowned. "What?"

Dean paused in the middle of reprogramming the phone; they hadn't found the one Vesta had taken off him. "If this is 'just the way you are now.'"

Sam's laundry sorting faltered, and he sank down on the edge of the bed. "Losing time? Held together by, what did Vesta say? 'Duct tape and safety pins'?"

"Yeah, that." Dean dropped the phone into his lap. "I mean, you're the one who said you feel pretty good, right? So even if you're messed up inside, you're doing okay, you're healing." He gave Sam a sideways look, trying to sound casual. "You're not gettin' worse, right?"

"No," Sam said slowly. "I mean, maybe the time slips are, I don't know. But I feel okay."

"So who cares what you look like inside? I mean, it's not like you're a looker on the outside, either."

Sam's casually punched him in the arm.

Dean's mouth twitched. "And so what if time gets away from you sometimes? I've got your back."

"I know you do," Sam murmured.

It was…comforting. He still didn't like not knowing what the Trials had messed up in him, what Vesta and Chef Leo and even dog-Dean had seen in him. But…he did feel okay. Maybe stopping the Trials before the final one had done the trick. And he did have his brother to watch over him in any vulnerable moments, just as he had when Sam had been grieving, or soulless, or certifiably nuts. You've gotta have a little faith, Dean had said, and Sam did. In Dean.

He cleared his throat, picking up another shirt and checking it for blood stains. "You know, Jody said you and I are 'something special.' 'Comfort' for each other."

Dean looked at him, aghast. "What does she think we—?"

Sam didn't know whether to smile or be exasperated. "She just meant, you know, we're there for each other."

"Oh." His brother's expression shifted through confusion, embarrassment, smugness, feeling moved, and finally settled somewhere around unease. "Well. Yeah," he said lamely.

Sam took pity on him, breaking the awkwardness by tossing Dean a pair of boxers. Sorting laundry ended there unless one of them had lost a bet, which Sam hadn't. "I offered her a chance to shoot Crowley."

Dean's eyebrows went up. "Huh. She take you up on it?"

"She said maybe she'd come take a few whacks at him with a crowbar if she's in the area."

Dean smirked. "Our dungeon is her dungeon."

"Is that what you said to Susie?"

Like oil on fire. "Dude, she was Carmelita." His brother looked so excited, it would've been cute…if they weren't talking about a porn star. "You know how many times I dreamed about—"

"No," Sam said hastily. "And I really don't want to."

"Dude," Dean said reverently.

Sam had to smile at that. "Bucket list-worthy, huh?"

"Like, numbers five through seven."

Okay, again, too much information. But just seeing Dean's simple joy…it couldn't help buoy Sam's spirits, too.

They were together, they were relatively okay, they were forging on despite Metatron and Abaddon and the mess Sam apparently was inside. It did give Sam hope.

And was probably part of why finding out about his brother's betrayal a week later would hurt so much.

The End