Disclaimer: Characters are not my own. All original ideas are mine.
Warnings: light OOC (I don't think it's too bad), AU, and mild slash warning—aside from the first paragraph, you'll have to squint to see it. Don't like slash, don't read.
Author's note: This was first written in 2002, under the title "Struggles." It's written in Duo's POV. I usually hate, hate, hate writing first person POVs. I'm not very good at it. Still, I was satisfied enough with this that I put in on the mailing list seven years ago. I know I have some problems with my tenses, but it's been spell checked. Any remaining spelling errors and obvious grammar errors are intentional—remember it's a first person POV story.
This was also a story that didn't seem to go anywhere, which is why it's still technically an incomplete work. Oh yeah, I had intentionally spaced some things, but for some reason I can't get the formating to work on . Everytime I space in edit mode, it goes right back the way it was before.
Roommates
Someday maybe I'll understand why it happened. Why he left me. But that day hasn't come and I'm still locked in a search for the answers to that simple question. I tried asking him, but he never answers. Silence was his best quality, anyways. Always quiet, observing. Unforgiving, in a way.
I'm alone now. At first, I thought I could handle it. Living alone? No prob, right? Wrong. I'm a social creature at heart, no matter how much I try to deny it. Living just a week alone, without any human contact whatsoever nearly drove me insane.
This would explain why I was standing on the doorstep of Chang Wufei's apartment, bag in hand.
I knocked on the door a few times, while trying to figure out exactly what to say to him. Hm...
I had little time to ponder on it when the door opened a crack, and then after a moment, the door opened wider and there stood Wufei, half asleep, might I add.
"Wufei!" I exclaimed, rather cheerfully. "Nice morning, isn't it?"
"Duo, it's three o' clock in the morning," Wufei said, trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes. He didn't know how cute he looked just now. Kodak moment. "What the hell do you want?"
"Um...well, it's a long story," I replied, shifting the bag to my other hand. I noticed Wufei glanced down at it and an all-knowing look passed over his face.
"No." And with that he began shutting the door.
"Ah, c'mon Fei!" I put my foot between the door and the wall, and tried to force it back open. "It's just going to be for a while!"
"No!" Wufei shoved harder on the door. I let out a squeak...my foot felt like it was about to break into two or something.
"Please! You can't leave me out here, on the cold, dark streets alone! I might die and you'll have to live with that for the rest of your life, Fei. And you know it!"
The struggle on the other side of the door gave way and I pushed myself through.
From the looks of it, Wufei had a nice place. It was not too big, but then again, it wasn't too small. Had a really spacious living room, but it was a bit bare on the furniture side. I would just have to make a change to that. But he did have one vital thing: a TV. That was another reason I almost went insane living alone. I was too darn poor to get one.
Wufei stood silently behind me, arms folded, as I gave myself the tour of his home. I made my way back into the living room, after having explored the kitchen (food is of the utmost importance!), the bathroom, his bedroom, and an empty, rather sad looking room in the back.
"You only have one bed?"
He nodded, and then said, "You can sleep on the bed. I'll take the couch."
"No, `Fei. I'll sleep on the couch, you can have the bed."
"Maxwell. This is my apartment and I'll sleep where I want to sleep. Now, you sleep in my bed and I'll sleep on the couch. Understand?"
There was no use arguing with him, so I nodded. "Now?"
"Yes now! You woke me up and I intend to get as much sleep as I can before work! GO. TO. BED!"
"Geez, `Fei, don't get your panties in a wad or something," I remarked as I made my way to his room.
"And don't call me FEI!"
~*~*~*~*~
His room was as empty as the rest of the house. Simple, plain white walls, bed in the corner. He had a little table next to it, with a lamp and alarm clock placed on top. That was about all to say about the room. I threw my bag in the corner and flopped on the bed. It was still warm from where Wufei was sleeping before I came knocking. Kicking off my shoes, I snuggled into the bed, pulling the white blankets over me. Sleep came almost instantly.
~*~*~*~*~
`Fei has a funny morning routine. He wakes up at six, showers, and eats breakfast all by six-thirty and is out the door before seven. Didn't even say good-bye. Apparently, he isn't worried about what I'll do to his house....since I'm all alone for the ENTIRE day.
I slept in until a blissful eight `o clock, and didn't shower `til noon. Though the thought of throwing a huge I've-got-a-home-now party seemed like a good idea, I decided against it. I didn't want to get kicked out on only the first day.
I spent an hour rummaging for food and when none was found, decided that an overdue visit the grocery store was in need. So, I grabbed a jacket and headed out.
~*~*~*~*~
People sometimes ask why I'm so cheerful. My answer is always the same: There just aren't enough cheerful people in the world, so I have to pick up the slack. Sure, sometime I tire of constantly being Mr. Happy, but someone has gotta do it, you know? Where would this world be without the happy people?
A chilly wind kicks up leaves from the street, blowing them onto the sidewalk. I'm walking to the grocery store; it was only a few blocks away. The sky was a clear blue--a perfect October day. Slipping my hands into my pockets, I went over the list of things I was planning on getting. Cookies, pizza, and those little cream filled puffy things...you know, the essentials. I bet Wufei's a health food nut, so I've planned to pick up some low fat ice cream bars. He'd like those...hopefully.
I reach the grocery store within a few minutes, and wander down its brightly light aisles. Abandoning my earlier planned list, I just grab whatever seems appealing off the shelves and toss them into the cart.
Paying was a breeze. `Fei should learn to take his credit card with him.
~*~*~*~*~
Somehow, I manage to get five bags loaded to the brim back to Wufei's apartment. After placing them on the kitchen counter, I collapse on the couch, exhausted. I didn't think it would be THAT tiring.
I rebound quickly, and bounce into the kitchen. The next hour is spent rearranging the entire pantry and fridge. Everything's been organized according to health content. Junk food first, low fat stuff next, and weird...healthy...things placed last.
It's six `o clock when I finally finish. I hear the front door open and close, and the sound of keys being hung echoes in the hallway.
"Duo?" Wufei calls out. "Maxwell! I'm home."
I quickly slip into the living room and duck behind the couch.
"Maxwell...? Where the HELL are you?!"
I giggle softly and cover my mouth with my hands. If he wants me, he'll have to find me!
"Duo?" He walks to the kitchen, his footsteps falling soft against the marble floor.
"Duo...this isn't funny..." He opens the pantry door, as if expecting me to be hiding in the small space. Then I hear him gasp. I think that means he just discovered what I did...
"MAXWEEEEEEELLLLL!"
I scamper toward the bathroom and shut it quickly. Then, I flipped the lock on and climbed into the tub, trying to get as far away as possible. My heart was racing at the pure silly excitement of it all. Besides...I've never heard `Fei scream like that before...
He had heard the bathroom door shut and was banging on it as soon as I was climbing into the tub.
"Duo! Where did you get the money for all that food?! Forget that...what is all that crap that you bought? And what did you do to my pantry?!"
So...my suspicions were confirmed: He WAS a health food nut.
"But...'Fei--"
"That's WU-fei!"
"But...Wufei..." I said, timidly, barely able to mask my humor. "I got you low fat ice cream bars. Isn't that enough?"
"How dare you bring such filth into MY home! Duo, you are going to get sick eating off all that junk! Now, open this door!"
"Promise not to kill me?" Hey, I gotta take precautions.
"Yes. Now get out of there....I need to use the bathroom..."
I could almost feel his embarrassment through the door.
"No prob, Wu. When nature calls...nature calls....I guess." I hopped outta the bathtub and opened the door. "Oh, and I hope you don't mind if I used your credit card." I fished it out of my jacket and waved it in front of his face.
Wufei snatched it and growled, slamming the door in my face.
"Geez, `Fei...I was just hungry! HUNGRY. Can you spell that? H-U-N-G-R-Y. It's your fault I had to use it! All you had in that pantry were stale Corn Pops! So BLAH!"
"Shut up!" The door muffled Wufei's voice. "Go away!"
Yep, living with Wufei was proving to be very enjoyable in deed.
~*~*~*~*~
**NOTE** ...Let's say that a few days have passed...
~*~*~*~*~
Wufei came home early that day, which was a bit unusual, since he had a set routine of staying at work from 7 AM to 7 PM. I was lounging, as usual, on the couch watching TV. I waved to him when he walked into the living room, and smiled brightly.
"Home early, `Fei? That's unusual..."
He looked me over quickly, and scowling, replied: "Still wearing your pyjamas? You know Duo, every once and a while clothes need to be washed. If you just go on wearing those, they'll never get washed."
"Ah, fine. I'll make it a point to change into NEW pyjamas tonight, kay? And I'll even wash my own clothes, too. Does that make you feel better?"
He gave no reply and plopped down on the couch beside me.
"So, Fei, why didja come home so early today?"
Wufei sighed and kicked off his shoes. "Sally said I should take the rest of the day off. Said something about me looking tired..."
Now that could look at him closer, he DID look extremely worn out. He had deep bags under his eyes and there was just an air of fatigue about him.
"You know, I think she's right," I said, a hint of concern in my voice. "Wufei, you work way too much...maybe you should take a whole week off or something."
"Maybe you should just get a job," he replied sternly.
I was silent for a moment. The simple idea of it was almost stunning. Get a job? Where would I work at? How would I survive? I looked back over to Wufei. He had his head back resting on the top of the couch and his eyes were shut.
I don't think I could bare seeing Wufei in this shape again. He looked horrible, almost sick. Getting a job would help cut the number of hours he had to work...
I should do it.
No, I WILL do it.
I tried to tell Wufei my decision, but he was already asleep. Man, even I can't fall asleep that fast...He really must be tired...
Maybe he'd sleep better if he was in his own bed. Yep, I always sleep better in my own bed, so he should too. I stood up and picked him up, cradling him like a small child in my arms. He didn't move nor did he make a sound of protest. Then, I carried him to his bedroom and placed him in the bed. I pulled the white covers over him and up to his chin, then stepped back.
God, I wish I had a camera!
I didn't know how adorable `Fei looked when he slept. Making a mental note to buy a camera and take a picture of him while sleeping, I walked out of the room and closed the door softly behind me.
Now for the Job Search. Should be a piece of cake, no?
Oh how wrong I was.
~*~*~*~*~
Turns out that Wufei did indeed take the rest of the week off. This was a good thing, because hunting for a job proved to be tougher than I thought.
First, I searched every fast food store within a fifty-mile radius of my home. None were hiring. Then I hit the local grocery stores. Same results there. I applied at electronics stores, bakeries, hardware stores, and sports equipment stores...even the dog kennel...
I was turned down every single time.
Despair was setting in.
I really did want a job, truly. But I couldn't figure out why I kept getting rejected. There must be some place in this stupid town that was hiring!
I clunked my head against the kitchen table, which had become my little office of sorts. Papers and applications, and little pieces of paper marked with scribbled phone numbers littered the table.
I felt like crying my eyes out. This was getting hopeless...
Someone patted my back. I looked up to see Wufei standing beside me, a cup of coffee in one hand. He gave a slight smile and placed the steaming cup next to me.
Did I mention how nice `Fei's been? Since he's been off, he's been able to get a ton of extra sleep so he wasn't all that cranky. Wufei even made breakfast for me today! (He makes one mean cheese omelette!)
"No luck, I'm guessing," `Fei remarked, sitting in the chair beside me. "You shouldn't worry, Duo. You'll get a job."
I heaved a frustrated sigh and slithered down in my chair `til I was eye level with the table. "I don't think I'll EVER get a job, Wufei..."
"Then I guess I'll just have to help you out, huh?"
I sat up quickly. Wufei's offering to help? Alleluia! I felt my eyes water with pure happiness. With `Fei's help, nothing could go wrong!
"Um...Duo...don't cry or anything. I just offered to help you out, that's all..."
This was one of the happiest days of my life.
~*~*~*~*~
I think I finally found a suitable job for myself!
I'm going to be a telemarketer!
'Fei had found the ad in the newspaper this morning. He said it would be a great job, considering how much I like to talk. I agreed and called the guy up, and now I'm employed!
Though, I'm not entirely sure what I would be trying to sell. I think the guy mentioned something about car insurance. Oh boy. Well, at least it pays ten bucks an hour. (This guy was desperate!)
Wufei said he was going to take me out to a movie to celebrate. It's a bit strange for him, I think, because I think I remember him saying once that he hated movies. Maybe I've influenced him? Well, a movie is a movie, but I'm just not sure which one I'd like to go to.
I was lounging on the couch, feet propped on the coffee table. Wufei had since gone back to work, picking up like he'd never left. I sighed and turned off the television. Daytime TV was completely and utterly useless. Fei didn't have cable, so I only had forty-odd channels to contend with. That would be the first thing to change as soon as this job of mine started. I was going in tomorrow evening, to work a night shift. It didn't sound like I was going to get much training at all. The bossman said all I pretty much had to do was read a script and sound like I stood by the product I was selling.
Fei had done research on this company—Happy Times Insurance—and what he had to say wasn't very flattering. It was a pretty massive company and had a lousy reputation, but I was desperate! What I really wanted was that mechanic's job at the car garage 'round the corner. One, it was close to home. Two, I already am quite the mechanic, so not much training there. And the pay was great. But I never got a call back—maybe I was too persistent? I suppose showing up every day for a week to beg for a job might have a negative effect.
I started out of my thoughts when the front door open. It was Wufei. Odd. It was only noon.
"Fei, home early again! What did I do to deserve such an honor?" I said and stood up. Wufei didn't say anything, but just moved passed me. He dropped his briefcase by the couch and went into the kitchen. Uh oh. Something was wrong.
"Wufei, you okay?" I asked and followed him into the kitchen. He was leaning against the counter, head bowed.
"I've been terminated."
"Termi—they sacked you?" I couldn't believe it. Wufei—of all people. Hardest working person I know and he got sacked?!
"Let the whole division go. Sally, Barton…gone. At least Trowa has Quatre, the rich bastard," Wufei said with a hollow laugh. "I'm sure Sally will probably be hired up somewhere else in the company. She's always had better connections than me."
"I'm sorry," I said. "Look, maybe Sally can help you out and let you know if they need someone. Maybe Quatre can get you a job." But Fei wasn't the type to accept handouts.
"I couldn't do that." See? I know him all too well. "I thought—I thought we were all doing so well. Even managed to cut back spending, but they still got rid of us."
"Wufei," I said, softly. I put my hand on his back and he was tense. "I know it doesn't look like it, but it will be all right. Things will get better. Just gotta give it time."
He was quiet for a moment, but I felt him relax somewhat and his shoulders slumped. He sighed heavily and nodded. "I know. It's just a little hard right now to absorb. I do have twenty three weeks severance pay, plus my vacation, so at least money won't be an issue for now."
"There you go—think positive. It's the only way you are going to get through this," I said, letting my hand slip off his back. "Tell you what: take a seat and let me make you something. How about a sandwich?"
"Ah—um, okay," he mumbled. He went to the kitchen table and sat down. He ran his hands through his hair and I wondered why I didn't notice it earlier, but he was wearing it loose. I wish he would do that more often. He didn't look as severe with it hanging down and his face didn't look so tight.
I hummed to myself as I rummaged through the pantry. Wufei was a turkey on rye kind of guy and I thanked the stars above that I remembered to pick up a new loaf of the stuff yesterday at the grocery store.
I heard Wufei chuckle suddenly. "Maybe I could get a job with you…"
"Oooh, I don't know about that. Telemarketing doesn't seem up your alley."
"What? I could do it!"
"I'm sure you could, but remember that you are dealing with the Rude Public and I know how you are with rude people. Hell, I don't even know how long I'll last at the job," I said as I tossed two slices of turkey meat onto the sandwich. I drowned it in hot mustard, like Wufei always did. I had always figured him to be a plain sandwich man, but he always managed to surprise me.
"Yeah…" he said, as if almost to himself.
I dumped some leftover potato salad on his plate and set it in front of him, along with a tall glass of ice water. I brought myself over a glass of juice. I dropped into the seat across from him and propped my head in my hands. "Well, how is it?"
"It's turkey on rye, Duo. I'm sure it's fine," Wufei said as he bit into it. He chewed thoughtfully and then swallowed. "Tastes fine. Thanks."
"Good," I said, knowing that it was high praise from Wufei, even if it didn't sound like it.
"I was thinking," Wufei said, pushing around his potato salad with his fork. "What about seeing the 'Lord of the Rings.' That second one just came out—'Two Towers,' I think?"
"Yeah, but that movie is supposed to be obnoxiously long. Besides, I haven't read the book in years…"
"You…read?" Wufei had a look on shock on his face. I kicked him in the shin.
"Yes, I read! Quite fond of it, thank you very much!"
"All right, sorry. Just a joke," Fei said, humor alight in his eyes. "I bought tickets for the seven o'clock showing."
"Sounds good," I said. "Remind me to not buy any soda, or else I'll have to run to the bathroom multiple times."
"Okay, I'll remind you, but I don't know how much good that's going to be. You always tend to ignore me when I'm trying to do you good," Wufei said, waving his fork at me.
"I know. You can taunt me afterwards if I give in a buy a gallon of soda."
"You know I can't pass up the opportunity."
I smiled, feeling stupidly happy. Wufei's earlier depression seemed to be wiped away and he was lively—cracking jokes, even! I know when someone's faking happiness and this was not the case. He already seemed much happier than I've ever seen him. Maybe everything will be all right. Maybe this was what Wufei needed. A fresh start. A new beginning.
I know that's what I needed, those few weeks ago. It already seemed so long now. I was honestly worried that night that Fei wouldn't take me in, but I should have known that he really wouldn't turn me or anyone else away. He might not act like it, but he had a caring, sensitive soul.
Wufei snapped his fingers in front of me, drawing me back from my thoughts. "Sorry," I said sheepishly.
"Don't do that again. Your eyes went kind of out of focus. Thinking hard there, weren't you, Duo?"
"Yeah, takes up all my brain functions," I said. I raised my glass of juice. "Let's have a toast."
Wufei stared at me blankly for a moment and I motioned to his glass. He rolled his eyes and raised it, though I saw the corners of his mouth twitch up. "To new beginnings," I said. "Here's to a fresh start for you, Fei."
"To new beginnings," he repeated and we clinked our glasses together. He took a long drink of his water and set it down. "I suppose…I suppose that's one way to look at this situation."
"I think it's the best. Chance of pace…let things slow down for a while. You don't even have to go on the job hunt right away. Spend some time being lazy."
"That's hard…being lazy. Not how I was raised."
"I know, but give it a shot. You'll thank me later," I said, quite seriously.
He smiled sincerely and stood up, plate in hand. "Thank you Duo. This is what I needed."
I was honest to God touched by his words. "No worries, Wufei," I said softly. "You know I'll be there for you." Okay, so that was a bit sappy, but it was completely and utterly true. I'd probably do just about anything for him and all of my friends.
"I know. Now, I'm going to get in a nap before the movie, so keep it down," he said and tossed the paper plate away.
"Sure…not much to watch on television anyway," I grumbled. "Sleep tight. I'll wake you up at six."
"Thanks." He left the room. I could hear his door shut quietly soon afterwards. He was looking a bit tired, so a nap would probably do him good. I yawned suddenly. A nap probably would do ME good as well.
I pushed myself up from the kitchen table and went to the living room and flopped on the couch. I wish I had a bed, but this was good enough. I'd have to buy one to put in that spare room. That should probably go higher on my list of priorities. Cable would be fine in spot number two on the list. Well, I'd have to ask Wufei about claiming the spare room as my own. We hadn't really talked about it.
Pretty much I slept on the couch whenever I could. Since Wufei was the only one with the job, I didn't want to be taking up his bed (which was very, very comfortable), and spoiling his sleeping habits. But the man was completely stubborn and spent his fair share of nights on the couch.
I stretched my legs out and propped him up on the arm of the couch. Sleep was coming pretty quickly and I hoped that I would get up in time to wake Wufei. The last thing I would need is a cranky Fei…
….end for now
September 2002
I still don't know if this is the end or if I should continue.
