"Oh, Jesus Christ."

"Lord, not again."

"Odin's beard."

"Nat, I swear to God, if you-"

"Red."

The room echoed with groans of exasperation. Sam took an angry swig of his beer before slamming it down as Bucky's head crashed to the table and Natasha smirked. The only person who didn't seem put out was Clint. He had to have half the reds in the deck somewhere in his giant hand of cards.

"Take you turn, Barnes," Tony grumbled, shuffling through his own hand. He tried to get a peek at Loki's, but the god glared and pulled his cards to his shirt.

Bucky scowled. "I'd like to, but I can't. Robin Hood is hogging all the cards."

"Bitch, please," Clint scoffed. "We play with two decks for a reason. Suck it up and draw."

With perhaps a bit more force than necessary, Bucky took cards off the deck one by one. After about seven, he slapped a red "Draw 2" down on the pile.

"Gee, thanks, Buck," Steve grumbled.

Shrugging, Bucky said, "Sorry, punk."

"Eh, don't feel too bad." Steve calmly placed another Draw 2 on top of Bucky's.

An instant later, Thor placed an identical card. It was one of the quickest plays the god had ever made. Usually he took his time weighing his options.

Tony whooped with laughter. "Eat it, Foster!"

"What's that?" Jane responded. Another draw was added to the growing stack.

"Ooh! Draw 8!" Tony hissed. "From you best friend! How's that feel, Darcy?"

"Pretty nice, actually." Darcy smiled. Another Draw. "All's fair in love and Uno, Stark. Never forget."

With the total now at Draw 10, the group's attention turned to Loki. Loki, who had two cards left in his hand.

Tony rubbed Loki's shoulder sympathetically. "Don't worry, babe," he soothed. "You're still better off than Princess Merida over there." Clint scowled at the jibe.

With an elegant flick of his wrist, Loki pulled out one of his cards. "Yes, darling, I most certainly am." He gave Tony a maliciously delighted grin. His card hovered face down, just above the rest.

"You wouldn't dare," Tony hissed.

The card was flipped and dropped.

"Draw 12, Anthony."

The table roared with laughter as Tony spluttered indignantly. He counted out his cards to the sounds of jeers being shouted from all sides. While the billionaire rearranged his hand, Loki added, "Oh, and also, Uno."

Frowning, Bruce looked through his own hand. He peered at Loki's yellow draw sitting at the top of their precarious pile, then back at his own cards.

Sam raised a hand between himself and Bruce, blocking his view of the doctor. "Play it close to the vest, Banner," he advised.

Bruce immediately snatched his cards closer to his chest. Across the table, Darcy snickered and added a tally to the score at her elbow.

"How many?" Jane whispered.

"Thirteen in the last two hours," Darcy replied.

Bruce huffed as he played, laying down a reverse card. "Would you two knock it off?" he requested for neither the first nor last time.

Still pissed about Loki's betrayal, Tony threw down a card and crossed his arms over his chest.

One perk of being the god of lies was always having a good poker face. Loki's expression did not reveal one bit of exactly how smug he was as he laid down his final card, sending out waves of discontent once more.

"Impossible!" Tony cried. "You've got to be cheating, you've got to be!"

"I'm afraid not, sir," JARVIS chimed in. "Magic suppressors are being used, just as you requested."

"One, just once," Clint whined. "I'd like to win one single round." He began totaling up the score of his massive hand, which Natasha helped him with one she'd finished her own, considerably smaller one. She rolled her eyes and ruffled his hair affectionately, dispelling his sulk a bit.

Jane made a note of Loki's score in the spreadsheet on her Stark Pad. he was in second place in the running score, behind Steve and with Natasha close on his tail.

Sam held out his hand to everyone. "Gimme the cards," he commanded. "I'll shuffle. Rogers, it's your deal."