This is my first fan fic, so sorry if it isnt that great. I think i will make it a one shot. but i dunno. this is set right after julie and caleb's wedding.


Finally, the wedding is over. Ryan was relieved when he was able to start packing. He couldn't bear to see his new friends and family so depressed, especially Marissa. He knew she was sad because she was practically crying when they were dancing at the wedding. He hated the fact that he was the reason for her grief. But, what could he do? He needed to go back to Chino with Theresa. It was his child she was carrying- well, maybe his child. Ryan was so lost in his thoughts that he barely heard the knock at the door.

"It's open," he said and looked up at the poolhouse door. The door opened and his heart sank when Marissa appeared. Her tear-stained cheeks were red from her obvious attempt to wash up. He got up from his duffel bag and walked over to her. Why does she have to make it so hard for both of us?

"Hey Marissa," Ryan said while looking down at his shoes. He knew it would hurt too much to look her in the eye.

Marissa bit her lip and looked at Ryan. His face was hidden behind a somber expression and she could tell he was hurting. She was fighting back the urge to just envelop him in a big hug.

"Hi," she said with a weak smile. He met her gaze and they just looked at each other for a moment, silently conveying their pain and sorrow. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes and quickly looked away. You can not cry now, Marissa! She willed herself to stop.

Marissa took a deep breath and walked over to the bed where he had started to pack. She could feel his eyes watching her. She hesitated, not sure what to do, before turning towards him.

"Ryan… I need to talk to you, about you going back to -" Ryan closed his eyes and sighed.

"Marissa, please don't do this. Please. I just can't deal with it anymore."

"No, Ryan. Just listen to me for a minute," Marissa's voice was shaky as she grabbed Ryan's hand, "You don't need to go back to Chino with Theresa. You can't!" She hated begging, but she had to.

Ryan sighed and led her to his bed. They sat down facing each other, resting their hands in one another's. He knew that she wanted him to stay, but he couldn't.

"Look, Theresa needs me to be there with her and her family for the baby. You know that! I've explained this to you already."

"Jeez, Ryan! Can't you see?" Marissa's voice was rising, "It might not even be your kid!" Ryan looked down. He had heard this all before.

"I know, I know. But-," he tried to reason. Marissa's voice softened as she looked deep into Ryan's eyes.

"Ry, you don't need to save everyone all the time. You're not a superhero or something." Ryan looked confused so Marissa continued.

"Come on, Ry. It's obvious. Ever since you got here and probably before that you have tried to help everyone. You helped your brother steal a friggin' car! And what about Seth, you protected him from all the jocks who teased him and beat him up. And... And Hailey, when you tried to get her out of that strip club. You also helped Theresa before by keeping her from Eddie. Then of course there's me, who you have saved many times- like in Tijuana, and from my mom, and from Oliver…" Ryan looked down and gave a sad smile at the last part.

"And I love you for it, Ryan. But, you have gotten yourself in more problems because of all of it. And I know that if you go back to Chino, Eddie will probably be looking for you. And that is not a good thing." Ryan had to admit she was no doubt right about this. But, he could take care of himself. He used to get into fights a lot back in Chino.

"You don't have to worry about me. I'll be able to handle it."

"That's not the point…plus, if you leave, you will be hurting everyone here- the Cohens, me and even Summer," Marissa chuckled, "You should see Seth. He's really hurt that you're leaving. He hardly talks and always wants to be alone." Then, she muttered under her breath, "He even blamed me for this whole mess." Ryan caught what she said.

"What? He blamed you for what happened? I can't believe it! Marissa, it's not your fault." Ryan sighed and ran his hand through his hair. Marissa looked like she was on the verge of tears.

"Yes it is, Ryan. If I hadn't hung out with Oliver and just trusted you, you would have never slept with Theresa!" Marissa choked out and started to cry. Ryan sighed and wrapped is arms around her.

"No, it's not, Marissa. I don't blame you for anything. What happened just happened and nobody is to be blamed for it." He comforted Marissa as she sobbed into his shirt. He leaned back against the bed's headboard with her head resting on his shoulder.

"I don't know what I'll do without you once you leave. You know, you're the only thing that has really gotten me through all this shit with my mom and Luke and the wedding. I haven't exactly thanked you yet. So, thanks Ry," Marissa said once she had calmed down.

"You're welcome," Ryan half-smiled and looked down at her. What was he doing? He can't leave all this behind! He lay his head back and closed his eyes.

"Can we just stay like this for a while?" Marissa asked, not expecting an answer. Ryan gave a melancholy smile and put his arm around her. She closed her eyes and snuggled closer to him. It was so peaceful just lying there.

Ryan had been shocked when he first learned that Teresa was pregnant. He never even imagined that something like this could happen. Once it sunk in, he was almost angry at Teresa-even though he knew it wasn't exactly her fault. Why did it have to happen right then?! His life was just starting to get better. His relationship with Marissa was going back to how it used to be. He was starting to leave all of the shit with Oliver, Eddie and Teresa behind him. Ryan didn't want to leave Newport Beach.

His thoughts kept turning in his head and he could feel his eyes burning. He finally broke down and let the hot tears silently roll down his cheeks. Shit, he thought as he let out a few quiet sobs. He gently wiped his eyes with his free hand, making sure not to disturb Marissa. He would never let anyone, especially her, see him cry. He sniffled and took a deep breath to calm himself down.

Even though her eyes were closed, Marissa wasn't asleep. She had heard Ryan crying, but she wasn't sure what to do. She contemplated not bothering him but couldn't stand the thought of him having to suffer all alone.

"Ryan?" Marissa said while getting up to look at him, "You okay?" He quietly gasped and quickly wiped his eyes. She put her arms around him the best she could and hugged him tight.

"Yeah, I'm, um, fine," Ryan answered shakily. He looked away to hide his embarassment. Marissa raised her eyebrows in doubt.

"Ryan, it's okay. You can tell me if you are upset or sad or something. I'm here for you." She rubbed his back, comforting him.

"It's just that I don't want to leave here. Everything was just starting to get better and now I have to go back. I don't want to be with Teresa, even though it could be my kid."

"Well, there has to be something you can do. I really don't want you to go- no one does. Maybe you could explain to Teresa that you can't go. I mean, wouldn't she want you to be happy," suggested Marissa. Ryan sighed. He knew it wasn't that easy.

"Marissa, I can't back out at the last minute. But I promise you that I'll find out if I am the father as soon as I can. OK?"

Marissa looked down and frowned. Well, I guess that's the best that can happen. She gave Ryan a sincere simile and kissed him.

"That works." Marissa laid her head back down on his shoulder and took in the familiar scent of aftershave.