Author's Notes: As all of you reader's out there probably already know, I've been trying to complete a 'CN New vs. Old' story for quite some time now. My first instinct was to tackle it with as an Action/Adventure story as that would allow me explore more fantastical situations. But as I've grown as a writer, I find that doing nothing but action is, in and of itself, boring.
I was on Youtube watching some old EEnE episode when I stumbled upon some old promos. After a few, I came upon one that had a most interesting comment. "Ugh's leading Edd around. Now, it'd be Double D leading Muscle Man."
It then dawned on me.
Instead of using an Action/Adventure, I should try a Slice-of-Life/General story. It made so much sense! Soon, my head was running through scenarios and my hands found their way to the keyboard. And soon, the Fourth Incarnation of the CN Internal Strife situation was born.
This story has what I like to call 'Arcs': A set amount of chapters that revolve around a certain situation/theme. The current arc, as well as the story as a whole, center around the Eds and kids dealing with the fact that they're show is stuck in re-runs and the possibility of being OOW, Out-Of-Work, looms over their heads.
Please note that this story operates in a fixed timeline meaning that anything that might change as far as how shows air or are currently airing will not affect the storyline of said fic.
Now with all that out of the way, I give you-
The Networking of Cartoons: An Eds' Story
Prologue: Bygones and Hot Topics
He stood heroically on the cliff, the staff raised high over his head as the wind bellowed angrily behind him. His eyes, once so soft and light-hearted, had grown cold and focused in the presence of the unholy monster before him. It's ethereal form, shaped by twisting shadows and given the likeness of a ravenous arthropod, snarled at him. The young mage gripped his battle-worn black cap, lifting it to reveal the Mark of Gadthos, the Unyielding.
Below him, his comrades had flashed similar Marks of Greatness. The short SpellCloak in his yellow bowling shirt exposed his left shoulder to allow all to survey the Sign of E'Olir, He of Black Mist. The tall, imposing Campion tore his ruined red shirt aside, so that their enemy might cower before the Mark of Athe' Recloaf, The Imposing Might. The creature roared, summoning a foul wind that sought to render them helpless, but the Mage skillfully wove Forticus, the dark mana diffusing back into the ether.
With a primal howl, it leapt forward, crushing the ground as it sailed to the heavens. The young heroes swiftly followed, lead by the Mage, who raised his staff high and shouted out his most powerful of arcane arts-
"Edd? You busy?"
The young boy yelped and swiveled about, almost meeting the floor had his reflexes not saved him by clawing into the counter-top. The boy's attire, a tropical orange shirt and mauve shorts with red socks, was rendered slightly disheveled from his frantic antics and he quickly set about remedying the mess. He faced the voice that had addressed him, which belonged to a man with a brunette crew-cut, bright yellow graphic T, jeans and a jacket,.
"Not at all, Harmon," he quickly saved face with a smile "Just…reading a few emails, cleaning out the inbox and whatnot."
Edd would sooner jump into a pile of Ed's dirty gym socks than admit to his Boss that he was reading Fanfiction written about himself. The man seemingly bought it and smiled brightly back at him "Great! You mind showing Muscle Man here to recording studio? He has a voice over. Thanks buddy."
The man left with haste, leaving him with the rather large, green man. He looked the boy over and gave an irritated grunt "So we going or what? I don't get paid if I don't show up."
Double D mumbled lightly under his breath and slip out of his chair. Excusing himself past the man, he proceeded to lead him around the office. They had quite a ways to cover, after all; years ago his cubicle had been right near the entrance and was the prefect distance away from the break room, bathroom, elevator, and of course, lunch room. Now, his place of work was located almost to the forgotten area of the building. Where once had been florescent lighting was replaced by a very flaky set of light bulbs and a plastic Ikea reject that stood in for a real oak wood desk.
But he wouldn't complain.
He was a Cartoon. A thirteen-year-old cartoon on a network that was constantly changing its programming schedule and dropping and replacing shows at the drop of a hat. A crummy office in the back of the building was a small price to pay to still be in employment.
"And this is the Main Office Area for Marketing/Resource Management. Over there is one of the many janitors that clean the building. Primary Gift Shop to your left, Specialized Gift Shop on your right, and a bit further in the back is the Golden Classics Gift Shop. Oh, bit of a warning, don't take up a little mole's offer for a round of 'Bones'. He's quite the shark."
"Alright, sure…You know who else likes offering to play a round of 'Bones'?" the man paused briefly to let the lad wonder "My Mom!"
"…Ha-ha-ha." Double D laughed nervously, giving the muscle man a pity laugh "Quite…humorous indeed."
In his honest opinion, he had no earthly idea how green man's show had gotten the green light. It's humor tended to be low-brow, crude, and make lewd remarks that eluded to something a bit more PG than the network's standards. Or previous standards as the case may be. The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack had pretty much shattered the Network Radar before Adventure Time came and crushed the remains.
As they continued forward, his mind wistfully wondered to the past. Each of those empty work areas had once been inhabited by stars. Walls were built to cover some, plaques dedicated to the owner protected others, and those that were left were already filled with the lively batch of fresh, new blood. For instance, he could distinctly remember Chicken sitting in the seat that one bored, blue cat playing Solitaire was now.
They continued through the building, inciting more and more memories of now gone characters and figures. It was a godsend when they finally managed to make it to their destination. The Audio Director quickly ushered Muscle Man along, pitching him hints and tips for the upcoming session to which he responded with another 'My Mom' witticism.
Edd scoffed, folding his arms "When I started, a script had to be looked over before they applied voice overs."
He quickly caught himself, startled that he would even utter such a thing. He was a thirteen-year-old Cartoon and already talking about the olden days. At times like this, he never felt more old.
Author's Notes: I have nothing against Regular Show. Okay, maybe I wish Muscle Man would get a new catch-phrase or actually use it right for once. But please note that this is from the perspective of a cartoon whose become jaded and slightly resentful over the years to a network that's constantly putting all sorts of barely humorous shows on while they're forced into once-a-week timeslots.
Double D is going to be a major focus for the first two arcs, but there are plenty of other characters out there. Next chapter, we meet more old faces as well as some newer ones.
