Where did I go wrong?

When I dated guys 4 years older than me?

When I kept my secrets secrets?

When I didn't care if I woke up the next morning?

When I prayed to god to not let me live through the night?

When any feeling was good even pain?

When I didn't care if I had friends?

When I didn't care about shutting my mouth?

Now that I'm here why the hell does matter how I got here?

All that matters now is where the fuck to go