A/N I was reading TechnoScribe's fan fiction Breaking Walls and something he/she wrote gave me this idea and i decided to give it a shot. Don't know where I am going with this though but meh who cares really.

Disclaimer: i would love to own Stargate Atlantis and a great deal of other shows all the things i could do to the characters but i don't and unless i somehow develop magical powers (or gain a few billion dollar's) that give me ownership of Stargate Atlantis and the other shows i most likely never will. So please i am begging you do not sue me for i do not claim nor do i actually have ownership of Stargate Atlantis. Now on to the first chapter.

A survival/help guide for when you are kidnapped or simply held hostage by aliens or human alien operatives while being apart of the Stargate program.

Hello if you're reading this book then either you have just been rescued or kidnapped or are reading this for fun.

If its the first two then it is most likely because of one of the following

Possibility number 1) You are one of the following people

1. Daniel Jackson

2. Samantha Carter

3. Rodney McKay

4. Carson Beckket

5. Teyla Emmagen

6. John Sheppard

7. Jack O'Neil

If you are one of the aforementioned people then chances are the reasons are most likely as followed

A) If you are either 1, 2, 3, or 4 then it's most likely because you are just too damned smart or too good at what you do for your own good or in some cases it is because you've ascended or almost ascended.

B) If you are 5 your negotiation tactics failed or it is because you can sense wraith

C) If you are either 6 or 7 you just have that bad of luck.

D) If you are anyone of those people then it is possible you where in the wrong place at the wrong time. though admittingly that could happen to anyone.

Possibility number 2) You where with either SG-1 or SGA-1 and like thing so often do everything just went to hell in a hand basket.

Possibility number 3) You have something they want. Be it technology, information or some unique ability.

Possibility number 4) As has been mentioned you where in the wrong place at the wrong time and your abduction was accidental.

Possibility number 5) Or you where at either Atlantis, on the Daedalus or at Stargate command back on earth and it has been taken over by hostile invaders.

Incidentally all of these seem to happen quite often so you might want to get used to it. Next chapter how to (hopefully) survive with one's life and limbs.

A/N Well there you go I've got chapter one finished. Constructive criticism is appreciated,Ra know's I need it, while flames shall be used to keep the wraith away R&R