My sweet Christine,

I cannot do this. In those ten years we were separated I thought I would never suffer in such a way again. Little did I know then that I had everything I needed. Hope. Hope is the most important thing in the world, Christine. Hope is what inspired me to push on, to live, to fight, to long for that day when I could see you again. And what do I have now? I have Gustave, of course, but he misses you as much as I and how does one comfort a lonely child? He does not see me as his father, I am but a stranger to him.

My love, I wish I could tell you that I have taken him back to his native France but you know as well as I that it cannot be so. I fear that if I was to return then I would be hunted down and all of those who despise me would destroy everything and anything I loved. So, I have decided to remain here. I have done my best to educate him as well as I can thus far but I know the day will come when I have to send him to school. I do not wish to part with him, my sweet, he is the only thing in the world that connects me to you. Education is not my greatest worry, I fear for the night where he has a bad dream or when he falls and hurts himself. What do I say, Christine? How do I comfort him in the same way as you would have done. Look, the guide and guardian has now turned to the object of his protection for guidance. I cannot be a mother to him, Christine. I can barely be a father.

Do not misinterpret me, dear one, it has not been solely misery and despair. There are times where we laugh over small things. His laugh is like yours in every way. He came into my study this morning and was laughing at some trinket I picked up on my travel and in my half-dazed state I looked up expecting to see you there. His spirit is also remarkably like yours, well, that is until he gets angry and then I am afraid to say The Phantom within him comes out. He rages with such terrific force sometimes that even I have to withdraw to my study! Can you imagine that, darling? The man who once struck terror into the bones of every ballet dancer within a ten mile radius is now frightened of a ten year old boy! I have grown old without you. Age has finally caught up with me and has done its worse. It is a vengeful beast that attacks the body and mind. I forget things, small things, but it is a fault nonetheless.

Christmas is approaching fast. I have done my best to prepare for it by gathering all the presents I imagine a boy of his age could ever wish for but they will be no replacement for you. Please, my angel, if there is anyway you could come back then do it. The thought of facing another day without you fills me with dread but I do it for the boy. I do it for our son.

With all my heart and undying love,

Your O.G.