I have stayed here for so long. My future is bleak and my past but a mere memory. I cannot afford to dream now. I destroyed the dreams of another. I should not even be given this charity. To serve this man for as long as I hold the will to live.

But sometimes I want to quite. I want to end this. My slaving away. The ends of my control becoming frayed. But I cant.

So I continue…And I shall in till the day I die…The Captain doesn't mean to hurt me so…So I forgive him…

And here I am now. Having forgave him endless times. Having baked his breakfast, made his tea, ironed his clothes, moped his floors… And here he comes, from the rocket launch site… Remembering his dream and how it was destroyed…By me…

"Shera!"

"Yes, sir?", I asked, my usual ready-to-please way. I waited for the screams but…they never came…

Because this is another one of my elusions…He's lost…Gone to the planets core in a ship named after him…

I wiped the tear from my cheek and tried hard not to sob. My book fell from my lap and I covered my face, tears falling…

He would laugh… He would call me weak. And idiot. He wouldn't care. Not at all…

If he wouldn't care, then why do I weep for him?

Why do I pray for his survival? His return? His victory?…He hates me. I killed his dreams.

I push the flannel blanket from my lap and unfold my legs. They sting from sitting on them for so long. I wince in pain, but otherwise ignore it. I walk to the window, my white silk nightgown dragging n the floor. My eyes watch the rain pouring outside. The rain…

We met in the rain. At the preparation of the rocket…He was young, attractive, and had a iron will…Unbendable and unbreakable.

"Oh, thank you." She looked up at him, face flushed, and took his hand. The blond man carefully pulled her to her feet and retrieved her umbrella from the ground nearby.

" Terrible winds in this storm. Maybe you should get back inside?"

She shook her head, coco brown hair plastering to her face. Gingerly she pushed it aside. "No. No, I'm supposed to check over the Shinra rocket. Make sure everything to the Captains liking…"

The young man smiled pleasantly. "Oh really?" he asked. She nodded. "Yes, yes of course… Um…"

The man held out his right hand. "Names Cid Highwind, captain of the Shinra 26, and you are?" Her eyes widened.

"O-oh. Its-it's a pleaser to meet you sir. I'm Shera Mindone."

I wiped the tears from my eyes again, and turn from these memories, only to be beaten down by another. The remains of the Tiny Bronco. His airplane… It was littered with my books, and photographs. My blanket… He'd yell… He will yell…

"The-this is amazing!" Cid stuttered, running to the pink colored airplane. Shera smiled.

" thank you… I helped build it." Cid turned to her.

"y- you?!". With a frown the young lady nodded uncertainly.

"y…yes…"She felt like crying. "I…though you would like it…it's a gift from Shinra…"

He had suddenly taken her up into a hug, squeezing her tightly.

" Thank you so much…"

My lip began to bleed. I had thought I was struggling to forget, but I was only struggling not to scream. Gingerly I collected my books. My papers, pictures, my blanket and began towards the stairs. The warmth this place once held… The odd cheer and love I had held… It seemed to die with each step. Each creek of the stair.

Blindly I searched for the tab on the light switch, scanning the dark with sad eyes. The cold plastic startled me, but I flipped the tab up none the less.

I almost screamed. I hadn't expected to see this. Not now…Tears filled my blue eyes, and my vision blurred. My throat tightened." Captain…"

My voice went hoarse, my heart raced. There he was…there… Staring at the stars in the sky. He's so pale… so very pale… and thin…

He's here… Cid…

" Cid!" I ran to him, my arms outstretched. But as his face turns to mine…

I realized this is another elusion. Another trick of the mind. So…here I am…

Crying, on the floor…

My knees are throbbing, iv got a splinter in my palm. My heads pounding terribly. More tears now…more than before…

I shakily push myself from the floor, shaking my head. "I should… Just… give up…He's…not coming."

"Why are you crying?" A kind voice asked from behind her. Shera sobbed. "Sher?" Slowly she looked up, face red and tears reeked. The blond man sat beside her, a frown on his face. "What's the matter?".

Shera shook her head, but Cid wouldn't take that for an answer. " Sher…?" "

Oh, Cid!" she grabbed his shirt front and sobbed into it. Carefully he stroked her hair, trying to comport her.

"What's the matter dear?" he asked, voice soft.

"Cid…My…my sisters gone…"

His eyes widened." Oh, shera… I'm sorry…" "

she…I loved her so much. She was so tiny… and lovely… Who would want to kidnap her?! I…I don't think they are ever going to find her. They found nothing for evidence or clues at all…"

"Shera. Don't say that. They'll find her. You cant give up hope…"

I didn't bother retrieving my things. I no longer cared. My eyes were streaming, my body was burning, my heart had sunk. I felt like there was no meaning in my life…No reason to stay alive…

The door to my room had opened with merely a slight touch of my hand, and I flipped on the lights.

But this time…

There was no elusion. This was real. The smell of chocolate, green tea, grease or oil. He was grinning, as if laughing at me… Sitting in the window seat.

Cid was soaked to the bone, but I didn't care. I don't care. I ran to him ,crying harder than I had all night. I wrapped my fingers around his ears, in his hair, in the folds of his jacket, and in returned he held me like he had the night my sister was found dead.

"Shera-"

"Yo-you meanie! You-jerk!"

"I'm..-"

"You left me alone…you left me alone for so long…didn't bother to write or call or-or-"

Cold fingers touched my chin and forced my face up. A saddened frown was on his lips.

"I'm sorry… I realize now how terrible Iv been… I- I want…"

It was hard for him. I knew it. Saw it in his blue eyes.

"your… so pale… So thin." Cid had whispered, eyes thoughtful and caring.

"You left me…"

"Shera…I'm sorry…But I- I couldn't take you with me. If I had…" He closed his eyes and shook his head, but didn't release me. "I was afraid the whole time. Afraid something would happen to me and I wouldn't be able to apologize… Or something would attack the town and you…You wouldn't…"

My eyes widened in shock. All the while I had been hating him, loving him, he had though about me?…