A/N: And this is what occurs when I try to write a story with a serious (Sirius?) plot while I'm hyper. Oh well. Enjoy! It's very random.
Disclaimer: I seriously doubt that Harry Potter would have been as famous had I been the authour. So no, I am not JK Rowling, if I were, I would not be on ...
Chapter 1: Not the Gillyweed!
"I always knew Myrtle's bathroom was good for something!" Sirius announced, placing a cauldron in the middle of the floor.
Myrtle immediately began to wail.
"I let boys in my room and they insult my home! Waah!"
She dived into a toilet with a deafening splash. Sirius turned around to catch three angry boys staring at him.
"Oops?"
"Oops, Padfoot?" Remus asked, looking horrified. "Show the girl some bloody respect, will you? You're going to get us caught!"
This sent James into hysterics.
"Shut up, Prongs!" Remus hissed, getting frustrated.
"Lighten up, Moony. I can only glare at Padfoot for so long. It's not like you have anything to threaten me with…"
Remus gave a smirk suggesting that he did have something he could threaten James with. James widened his eyes and started to work quietly with Sirius, careful not to let out another slip of the tongue.
"What is the potion going to do, again?" Peter asked, staring the potion sloshing around the dirty cauldron.
"Honestly, Wormtail? Are you really that daft?" James asked, looking up at Peter. "How many times must we remind you?"
Sirius snickered, "It's getting up near the number of times James asks Evans out in a day."
"OI!"
"Guys!" Remus hissed, having somewhat of an air of superiority. "Be polite. Work on that blasted potion."
"Well," James said, as he and Sirius turned back to the potion. "It is supposed to make the people relive their best memories."
"It's one of our good pranks," Remus said. "Seeing as I helped. I reckon it's needed in such dark times."
"Oh yeah!" Peter said, realization dawning on his face. "I'm sorry, we just do so many pranks, I keep forgetting!"
The Marauders all rolled their eyes. James decided that he would converse with Peter to keep him quiet and stop him from asking questions that could potentially divert their attention from the potion.
"Okay," Remus said, reading off the book. "You need to stir the potion 22 times counterclockwise now, Padfoot…NO! The other way!"
Sirius started to rotate the spoon in the opposite direction.
"And now you need to add the—"
"GILLYWEED! Honestly, how could you forget? GILLYWEED!" James suddenly exclaimed, waving his arms in the air. This statement was directed at Peter, not Sirius.
"All right," Sirius said, standing up and walking over to the storage cabinet.
"NO!" Remus said, running up to Sirius. "Not the gillyweed!"
Sirius was not paying attention to Remus, but instead, brought the gillyweed next to the cauldron.
"How much?"
"None! Padfoot, none!" Remus screamed, waving his arms protectively around the potion.
James grabbed the potions book and started to show Peter a page in the book.
"You can't possibly forget the gillyweed! Two small pieces will fix the potion!"
Sirius obediently grabbed two pieces of gillyweed.
"Not the gillyweed, Padfoot!" Remus hissed, trying to knock the gillyweed from Sirius' hands.
"But Prongs has the book, and probably knows what he's talking about. Plus, it might make an interesting combination."
"WHAT?!" Remus asked, horrified. "Prongs, bring the book here!" James was too into the intellectual conversation he was having with Peter. "Okay," Remus said, taking some deep breaths. "Padfoot, don't move, I will retrieve the book."
Sirius nodded and froze, making an obnoxious face.
Remus rolled his eyes, got up, and made his way over to James.
"Prongs, I need the book."
"No!" James said, suddenly seeming very protective over the book. "My book! I'm teaching Peter stuff."
Peter nodded, "I'm learning loads of stuff!"
"Stuff?" Remus asked, exasperated when the two boys nodded. "We're working on a bloody potion for a prank—"
"Not a fun one, though," James pointed out. "This is a happy prank."
"Pranks make people smile!" Remus said, making a grab for the book.
James did some quick thinking in his head and threw the book to Sirius.
"HEY, PADFOOT, CATCH!"
It being an order from James, Sirius suddenly forgot any order Remus asked him to and dropped the gillyweed, catching the book heroically.
"Great catch!" James applauded.
Peter had hobbled over to the potion and stared at it. Remus, Sirius, and James, however, were too busy fighting over a book.
"Oh yeah!" Sirius said, making a bow. "Catch, James!"
James made a spectacular dive at the book, while Remus, hopelessly, tried to make a grab for the book.
"What is this, bloody monkey in the middle?" Remus muttered, jumping again to try and catch the book.
Suddenly, the potion started to bubble, and Peter was still standing next to the potion, not warning them that the potion seemed as if it were about to explode.
"Hang on," Remus said suddenly, his eyes growing wide.
James and Sirius paused at the trembling sound of Remus' voice.
"If you're playing monkey in the middle with the book, then what did you do with the gillyweed?" Remus asked, dreading the answer he realized he was likely to receive.
Sirius suddenly widened his eyes and glanced towards the cauldron. Peter was still staring at it, not saying anything. In fact, he started to prod the potion with the spoon.
"NO! STOP, PETER!" Remus yelped, knocking Peter away from the cauldron. "Damn it! The potion is going to explode! Sirius, why did you drop the gillyweed?"
Sirius was in no fit state to answer Remus, as he was very busy panicking over the messed up potion.
"PADFOOT!" James bellowed. "Shut up! Let's fix the potion…where's the book?"
Sirius went red and glanced towards a toilet, which was flushing at the moment in time.
"You flushed the book?" James asked. Remus was fuming.
Sirius nodded mutely.
"The potion is going to explode!" Remus yelled, forcing Peter behind him as they ran back.
In all the panic, Sirius brought up an excellent and very productive point.
"It's a good thing I cast the charm to make this room soundproof."
James nodded, but Remus was looking at Sirius incredulously.
"The potion is going to explode, and we can't fix it because in your panicked state you flushed the book down the toilet. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"
"I was nervous," Sirius said, chuckling nervously.
Peter looked distraught.
"I'll never be able to learn all the amazing wonders of gillyweed from that book again…it was the only copy in the restricted section, according to James."
Remus was massaging his forehead.
"This is not happening…this is not happening…tell me this is not happening!"
"It's not happening," Peter said loyally. "Except, it is."
"AUGH!" Remus screamed, seeming to have lost it completely. "POTION, EXPLODE ALREADY! THIS PRESSURE IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!"
Sirius seemed to still be stuck on what Peter had said about the gillyweed.
"Wait, so, er, the gillyweed wasn't for this potion? Oh, that's why Moony was telling me not to put it in!" Remus smacked his head.
"You put the gillyweed in the potion?" James asked, completely shocked. "WHY?"
"I, er, thought you were reading off the page…"
"And," Remus said, breathing heavily. "He thought it would be fun to experiment."
"You what?" James asked.
But experimenting is how people learn, right?" Peter pointed out.
Remus pinched the bridge of his nose.
Suddenly, without warning (because clearly this whole setup wasn't enough), the potion exploded upwards, launching the ceiling and all of the people with some sticky, goop-like substance. The room fell silent. Except for Myrtle's wailing. And then Sirius'.
"MY HAIR! MY HAIR!"
"Your hair?" Remus asked, completely bewildered. "A potion just exploded that we have no idea of the side effects and you are worried about your hair?"
Peter started to play with the murky goop. He smeared it on his cheek and chin.
"Ahoy, matey! I'm Hagrid!"
"Since when did Hagrid become a pirate, Wormtail?" James asked curiously.
Peter blushed, although it was not visible through the goop.
"This might make my skin all soft!" Sirius declared, and started to smear the goop generously all over his body.
Remus stared at the scene before him. He was shaking in fury.
"Guys! A potion exploded! Let's get out of here before we are found!"
This led to Myrtle giggling insanely.
"Come visit me again sometime."
She started to make her way closer to James, which gave him the incentive to get out of the bathroom as quickly as possible.
"Okay, let's get out of here!"
Sirius and Peter obediently followed, which put Remus into a sourer mood than he was in before.
"So everyone listens to him and not me?" he asked, pouting.
He didn't receive an answer.
"This potion was the best invention ever!" James exclaimed, quietly so they wouldn't get caught.
"It made my skin all soft," Sirius sighed.
"I could play dress-up," Peter said dreamily.
"And there was a bloody explosion that could have got us killed," Remus hissed angrily.
"Nothing happened, though, Moony," James pointed out as they passed the Fat Lady.
For some reason, Remus had the sinking feeling that the potion had more side effects than providing soft skin.
A/N: What do you think? And yes, this story does have a plot...should I continue this?
