Prologue

Lily shivered, wrapping her shawl closer around her. A deep gnawing guilt scraped at the inside of her stomach. However, despite the ache, she couldn't help but smile at the sight of his dark silhouette turning around the corner. Without a word she buried her head into his robes, inhaling deeply. With his hand supporting her neck, she could feel the muscles in her shoulders finally relax. As if every muscle in her body was tense in preparation for this very moment.

Lilly pressed her lips together as they withdrew, looking cautiously up at him.

He smiled, "Been a while, hasn't it?" he paused, waiting for her response. But her eyes were lowered. Tears welled up, a sob climbed into her throat.

"Lil? Lilly, what's wrong?" She licked her lips, she could taste the salt of her own tears. But… she hadn't realized she was crying.

"Severus," she breathed deeply, she couldn't let her voice fail her. She couldn't look into his eyes because she knew that with one look she would say what she had so many times before. "Never mind," she'd say, "I love you." The simple statement grew in her lungs but she fought it back, not this time. This time was special circumstances.

"We… I… can't meet you here any more." She choked.

"What?" His face was confused, but devastated, "Why not?"

"Severus…"

"No. You can't just cut this off. I-I thought you were happy!" he was angry now, though not at her.

"I am happy, sweetheart. But…" She suppressed another sob, "It's not fair to any of us… to you, to me, to…"

He shook his head. "Lilly! I mean- you keep saying you're going to leave him! I agree. You can't keep us living this way! But, we can live in that house. We can have our own family-"

"Severus, I'm pregnant!" his stunned, silent, face sent a shiver down her back. "For the boy's sake… I can't do this anymore. Don't be angry."

"I'm not angry." He breathed through clenched teeth. "I'll just-I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too."

"When will I see you again?"

"I don't know." And with that Lilly went up on her tippy toes, and planted a kiss on his cheek. She smiled grimly as she turned around the corner and disappeared into the dark.