Another Story to Tell
Here we go again
Author – Maricruz
Disclaimer – Don't own anything from 'TFTF', just the characters and storyline that I made up
AN – I know I've uploaded this chptr before, but I wasn't satisfied with the way it came out when I read it again. So I've maid a couple of adjustments and now that I'm satisfied I'm working on the second chptr. It's in the progress, so it shouldn't take that long! Hope you'll enjoy.
Here we go again. Once again, I find myself running in the streets. Once again, I owe it all to myself. And once again, I hear myself asking why. I should've known from the start that it would end like this. It always does and it will probably always do. So why do they keep falling for me? And why do I let them go through with it? All these questions without simple answers. Answers that I've been searching for. Answers that I wish to find. Answers that I'll seek till I find.
I told myself that it would be the last time. I would never let it happen again. Only this time, I just couldn't resist. He was too cute, too beautiful, too nice, too... too much of everything. But the best thing was he wasn't like all those other boys. He wasn't a hustler or a player. Okay, he wasn't a saint and yeah, he did some illegal shit. But the thing was, it wasn't all that. They were just these little things that didn't matter. Minor, comparing to the things I'm used to. Minor, comparing to the things I did.
You know that feeling? When someone is totally crazy of you and you just can't resist tasting some of it. Just taste a little piece of the sweetness the person wants to give you. And tasting isn't bad, if you can resist it. But when you taste and you keep getting pieces, it's starting to get difficult to stop. Like a drug, it keeps calling you, your body is yearning for more and your mind is begging not to stop. I always was able to keep that feeling subcutaneous. That was, until him, until he became my drug, my heroin. He made it too difficult to stop. And so I didn't. I kept on tasting until I just wanted all and I wasn't satisfied until I had it all. And when I had it all, it was the greatest feeling ever. No drug had ever given me the feeling I was having at that moment. I was high, but without the use of drugs. And maybe, for the first time in my life, I was feeling what a lot of people feel all the time. Maybe, and just maybe, I was feeling... love.
Now, you gotta understand that love is something I'm not used to. But to understand that, you need to know something more about my past. About how I grew up and what made me the way I am nowadays. See, I grew up in Brooklyn as a daughter of a pole dancer and a drug selling thug. So basically, most people already thought I was damned to be nothing even before I was born. My momma, who was 17 and my daddy, who was 18 really loved each other. At least, that's what I heard. They were both killed in when I was 6, because of something I still don't know. Beside my parents, I didn't have any relatives so they placed me in an orphanage, where I grew up. Growing up there, I never really felt anything that involved care about me, so love was the last of things that I knew.
I created a fighters-instinct very fast, when I entered the orphanage. It's like the wild there: you better learn how to fight, or someone else will learn how to fight and kick your ass. Kids that grow up in a bad neighborhood are not really 'social' built. They probably inherited their way of life from their parents or whatever. I mean, like I said it's like the wild in there. You ever seen the eyes of kids that grow up like that? Their eyes all filled with anger, hate and fear. But now that we're talking about eyes. I always stood out, especially with them boys. They once told me why. It is because I'm a dark girl, my skin is this caramelish color, but I've got eyes as green as grass. That happened to be so, because my daddy's daddy was a white boy. He had green eyes and I got them too.
Now, back to the story. I was a real fighter back in the day, still am come to think about it, and I probably have fought more than a WWF wrestler in his whole career. Just because I'm short, I'm 5'4, it doesn't mean I'm a pussy. More likely a tiger or a lion. In the orphanage they have something they call 'the calm room'. And you get send there when you need to 'calm down'. Trust me, I've spend more time inside there then I've spend in any room of the place. They said I was letting myself get too fed up by the things people did and said. Yeah, whatever.
Anyway, so when I turned 16 I had enough of living in an orphanage. My body wasn't exactly one that belonged to a 16-years old girl, so I had my way around some places. I mean, most of the nights I was climbing down the fire stairs of the building and getting to some party till early in the morning and then climbing back inside to pretend that nothing happened. So let's just say that I had a lot of older friends that got me into things a girl of that age isn't suppose to get in. Bouncers knew me, owners knew me, so I was getting inside of anything I wanted. Still, I wanted out of the orphanage.
I was making money by fighting in this illegal fight club. These guys I knew, owned a warehouse somewhere down in Brooklyn, and on Friday and Saturday nights they were holding these fights where you could make money by either putting it on a fighter or by fighting yourself. Soon I was making myself a name around there, cause of my talents in the ring. People called me Beautiful, or just B to shorten it. Man, I loved that place. I lived for that place. And the place was getting pretty popular amongst people. There were nights that we had visitors from the West Coast, who had traveled all the way to Brooklyn just to be witness of a fight.
Cause of the money I was making there, I could afford buying a car. In that time I was dating one of the creators of the fight club: Lloyd. He was nice and sweet and he taught me how to drive. Thing was, the boy had it way too high in his head. Twenty-two years and getting everything out of life that there was to it. As there was to it, meaning that he was doing crazy shit to get money. And you see, I'm not like that. I do a hell lot to get money, but he was on a whole nother level. He was doing shit I didn't even wanna get involved with. He liked me though, so life was good. Until he got some crazy stuff into his mind. You remember that scene in Scarface where he gets told that a dealer never ever should start using his own shit, cause that meant the end for real? I do, but I guess Lloyd never saw the movie. He became addicted to his own stuff and after that it was over for him. He went luda and then he got to the point where he was sleeping around and stuff so that's when I broke shit up. You see, there's a hell lot that I accept from a man except for one thing: cheating. If you sleep around, it's over. And it's as simple as that.
Don't think I didn't care about what happened to him. Absolutely not, I really did care about him. I remember that I broke down after that. I was the one that finished it but it still hurts, you know? I warned him, but did he listen? No, of course not. They never do, do they? And that was number one.
After people heard that me and Lloyd were done, I had tons of men who came knocking on my door. Most of them just because they wanted something for the night. You see, there's another thing I don't do. I don't do 'just for the night', I do all the way or no way. After they realized that, all the real soldiers came to be my new man. And eventually I had mine. Rashad was a sweet guy, smart too. He had the brains to go to Yale or any other university he was interested in. Yeah, I said he was a soldier and he was, just a soldier who was thinking about the future. He was planning to go too, he wanted to be a doctor, but then he got involved into some shit with his brother, don't know really... Well, actually I do, I just try to put forget it. See, his brother was bad. He did everything that God said no to. And the loyal brother that Rashad was, he kept supporting his brother in everything. Until Tony tried to get with me and almost beat me right in the face. That's when Rashad totally freaked out. He started letting his brother run his own shit. Tony got mad, Rashad got even more and then they got caught by our lovely men in blue while doing business. They both went to jail and I just went away. I mean, he couldn't expect me to go and wait all that time for him. I was 17, I had a whole life in front of me. Oh so there's number two.
Now, after Rashad I wasn't really feeling the whole relationship thing anymore. I mean, in one year I had 2 guys who both fucked up miserably. So I just started getting involved with a couple of boys. Not involved as in all the way straight into my panties, just involved as in going out. There was Nick, who was really goofy and funny. Quentin, who was the 'American Dream'-boy. Jeff, who played basketball and was hoping to get a full scholarship to get to play NBA one day, and Rakim who just was a lady's-man. So there you have number three, four, five and six. All of them were fun for a while, but none were the relationship-type.
None, until I met this one boy. His name: Channing, his job: fight. That's what probably brought us together: we both shared the love for a good old fashionable fistfight. Channing's beautiful. His skin a very light shade of caramel and his eyes are something between green and brown. Hell, we were good together. Naw, we were more then good, we were fantastic. Definitely, we were Bonnie & Clyde, Bobby & Whitney, all the way. I think that he's the only one who came close to being loved, at least that is before him. Channing… he loves me, so that's a starter. But Channing had a lot of shit on his head. Stuff that he needed to protect me from. Stuff that still haunted him from his life before me. But he did a good job, he's still doing it. Don't go and think that me and him are still a 'thing', but he's still the best friend I have. He's running with me. No, he's not running, he's just by my side till I find what I'm looking for.
Channing… I don't know if I love him. Okay, I love him as an older brother and that's something that developed in the time we're together, but I don't know if I love him on sexual basics. Me and him, we went through a lot of shit together. And when I say a lot, I really mean a hell lot. You have to know that Channing's a beast. He's easily capable of killing someone. I've seen it happen in our business deals. Damn, what am I saying? I'm capable too. But we had something for 2 and a half years and then we broke up, just because we saw each other as just friends. We stayed together, though. Just as friends, but we lived together and everything.
Then this one night, I find out that the guy I'm seeing is cheating on me. So I get mad, we get into an argument that eventually led to him hitting me in the face. So I get back at him and the bitch he was cheating me with. But when I get home and Channing sees my face, he goes totally luda and before I could do or say anything, he had already left. In the meanwhile I come to the realization that there is nothing that keeps me in Brooklyn and I decide that it's a perfect moment for us to leave and find another place to live. So I start packing our stuff, trying to get a hold on Channing who doesn't pick up his cell. I don't know what happened, but when he came back his shirt was covered with blood and his knuckles were busted like hell. You know, I never asked him about that night and what happened. I just cleaned him up and after that we left.
With Channing sitting next to me, I just drove away from the place I had been familiar with since I was born. But I know it was the best thing I ever did in my entire life. You can say that I was running and I probably was. You can say that it was my own fault if something bad happened cause I knew that the boy was a criminal and I probably knew that he was gonna cheat on me in the back of my mind. And sure, I was asking myself why I had it come this far. But at that moment it didn't matter. I was getting me and my 'brother' to a better place and that was that.
The drive was really fun. We were just driving where the car was leading us. And so we ended up in LA. And that is where everything got better and where everything fell apart. But at the beginning Channing and I had the best time of our life.
I remember like it was yesterday…
Tell me what u thought
XOXO, maricruz
