Person 1: "What if Voldemort rapes Hermionie?" Person 2: "Nah. But instead of Hagrid and Dumbledore, what about Hagrid and Sprout?" Person 1: "What about a Hat Trick? Person 2: "Hat Trick?" Person 1: "Hat - Trick" Person 2: "I think I have an ulcer" Person 1: "Ewwwwww" Person 2: "Dobby and Hagrid"
Person 1: *Thinks: That's a good sex kill, but I've got a better one*
No! Dobby and Flitwick!"
Person 2: "Dobby and Dumbledore with Minerva Mcgonagall"
Person 1: "Ron raping Hermionie"
Person 2: "It is an ulcer!"
Person 1: "Draco Malfoy gets raped by Dumbledore in AU"
Person 2: "No, by Ginny!"
Person 1: "Vise Versa. Then They Fall in love."
Person 2: "Hagrid and Narcissa"
Person 1: *Doing her best impression of Narcissa*"Hagrid, go a little
slower . . . It hurts!"
Person 2: "No! It would be 'Hagrid! Go faster Goddammit!'"
Person 1: "A whole Hogwarts Fuck Quest!"
Person 2: "In the Grand Hall!"
Person 1: "And Dumbledore slams Mcgonagall against the wall!"
Person 2: "It really is an ulcer!"
Person 1: Does it smell like fish and taste like chicken?"
Person 2: "Huh? NO!"
Person 1: *LAUGHS*
Person 2: "When you laugh you sound like a donkey"
Person 1: Narcissa would sound like a donkey with Hagrid"
Person 2: "I think his beard would get in the way"
Person 1: "Which one?"
Person 2: "How do you get ulcers?"
Person 1: "I don't know"
Person 2: "I have an ulcer- and I hate it!"
Person 1: "One- you've made that quite obvious and two- What about the
fictional characters with their real life counterparts?"
Person 2: "Lucious and Petunia!"
Person 1: "Did you know that Lucious was the name of a pope?"
Person 2: "Ohhhhhh . . . Naughty naughty Lucious . . ."
In Unison: *LAUGHES*
Person 1: *Still recovering from giggles* "Voldemort, Severous and a
jar of peanut butter"
Person 2: "Hmmmmm . . . yum yum"
Person 1: "Whoa"
Person 2: "The peanut butter!"
Person 1: "Ohhhhhh"
Person 2: "That pizza looks like Dobbys ass"
Person 1: "Why are you having sexual thoughts about Dobby? Oh"
Person 2: "Ewwww!"
Person 1: "Ron can rape Cho Chang"
Person 2: "Cho Chang can rape Harry"
Person 1: "What if Dumbledore did it with Snape?"
Person 2: "Ewwww!"
Person 1: "Maybe not. After all Dumbledore would need too much Viagra"
Person 2: "What about Harry has a twin brother and his brother is -"
Person 1: "You do realize that not only would every charcter of JK's
world would have lost their virginity at this point but that they also
whould have a passel of annoying infants and toddlers, not to mention
the black wedding drsses"
Person 2: "Black as in the color or the person?"
Person 1: "The second one has some interesting qualities . . ."
Person 2: *CRACKS UP*
Person 1: "Professor Binns and Dumbledore"
Person 2: "That would be interesting . . . ."
Person 1: "What about a type of logo name?"
Person 2: "Huh?"
Person 1: "Like the 'Lucious Lickers' or something"
Person 2: "No, he looks too much like a girl"
Person 1: "What about 'The Dumbledore Ding-dongs'"
Person 2: "Harry's Hangovers"
Person 1: "Harry's Whores"
Person 2: "Sexy Slytherins"
Person 1: "Horny Huffelpuffs"
Person 2: "Grabby Gryffendors"
Person 1: "Over - Sexed Slytherins"
Person 2: "Sadistic Slytherins"
Person 1: "Raunchy Ravenclaws"
Person 2: "Sex Gods of Slytherin"
Person 1: "Polie - Polie Ravenclaws"
Person 2: "Sperm Doner Slyhterins"
Person 1: "Gryffendor Gungpow"
Person 2: "Great Sex Gryffendors"
Person 1: "*Moaning* Myrtle"
Person 2: "Instead of 'doom - and - gloom' Trelwany, what about 'moan
- and -groan' Trelawny?"
Person 1: "Ewwww"
Person 2: "I just thought of something"
Person 1: "What?"
Person 2: "*Head* of House"
Person 1: "Brittany Spears and Hagrid"
Person 2: "SPEAR BRITTANY!"
Person 1: "Whoa! Where'd that come from?!" Person 2: "You don't wanna know"
Person 1: "A game of strip poker where Dumbledore shows up"
Person 2: "Dumbledore and a dolly!"
Person 1: "We're so dirty minded"
Person 2: "* A Not - Quite - But - Almost Repressed Snicker* I know"