Mr. Monk meets Mr. Big

By: Mindy K.

Rated PG-13 for adult language and adult situations.

Summary: "Sex and the City" and "Monk" collide for an interesting crossover
where Charlotte is a prime suspect for a very "Monk-like" "impossible"
murder and Sharona goes back home to Northeast USA.
NOTE: there are a few minor things changed in this chapter

Chapter 1 Nice to meet you?

Foreword: Sharona is off of a blind date with none other than Big from "Sex
and the City". Sharona's sister, Gail, and Gail's friend team up the two.
Gail's pal knew Big and Gail knew Sharona. Sharona is dressed and has a
hair do (bobby pinned) a la Carrie Bradshaw. Sharona and Big are supposed
to meet in the park both wearing or having pink carnations with them.
(Carrie's favorite flowers!) They're both VERY distracted when they see
each other and hardly get to look each other straight in the face because,
well, they're both thinking about different things.

Big's early for their lunch date. He sits on a bench and looks around.
Sharona, on the other side of the park, gets out of her station wagon and
looks around. She has the flowers in her hair and outfit. He has his in his
pocket (though they are visible, like at a wedding or formal occasion). She
starts walking his way and looks around. Sharona wasn't acting like herself
today. She had to admit it; she didn't care for blind dates. She'd
forgotten her lipstick, carried a small, stylish purse, and her mind was
completely focused on how Adrian had sounded when she'd said "goodbye" to
him that morning. She felt so guilty, for reasons she couldn't really
explain, but she knew she deserved that date.
He saw her out of the corner of his eye. He quickly whipped his head around
to get a better look. 'It can't be- she said she was done with me! But why
would she be 3,000 miles from home? Maybe she wants more "closure"- like
all these women talk about. She said we're still friends. I'll give her a
hug, say "hey", and I'll ask for "the scoop".' Went Big's internal
monologue. He got up and sort of half ran, half walked over to her.
"Carrie!" Sharona didn't notice. Again, "CARRIE! Carrie Bradshaw!" He
finally got up to her. "Hey there!"
Sharona noticed the carnations and took that as her hint that he was her
date. She smiled and then coughed. "Hey- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come.
I've got this cold and-" She said as her opening statement in her lowest
voice ever- sounding very sexy from her cold.
"What are you talking about?" He said, figuring she would be like that.
"You look great!"
"Thank you!" She said shyly.
"Hey, can I have a hug-or.?" He half- asked, remembering their last
conversations.
"Why not?" They hugged. It was awkward to say the least.
"Hey, kid, did you do something with your- .?" He started another strange
question.
"Excuse me?" Sharona asked completely confused. This WAS, after all, a
"blind" date. Or was it?
"Never mind- hey, I'm supposed to meet someone here- but- uh. Would you
like to go out to lunch or something with me sometime? What brings you
here, anyway?"
Sharona was completely confused. She was stuttering with speechlessness and
she was thoroughly embarrassed. "Well, you see, I was supposed to meet
someone here too. I can't go out with you, but."
"I know- just friends- unless you broke up with that guy, hot dog, again-"
"What?!"
He saw another woman with pink carnations sit down and he said, "Hey, Car,
it was great seeing you again!"
"Again?" The tension and exhaustion is growing to frustration and chaos.
"Car? What's wrong?"
"WHAT'S WRONG?!?!? WHAT'S WRONG IS I THINK ONE OF US HAS LOST THEIR MINDS
AND I'M NOT CAR, AND WE'VE NEVER MET!"
"Jeez! It HAS been awhile!" He announced sarcastically. He then even more
sardonically "re"-introduced himself.
"Ok, kid. MY NAME IS JOHN, BUT YOU AND EVRYONE ELSE CALL ME 'BIG'-"
" 'Big' WHAT? OH MY G-D!"
"Carrie, this isn't funny!"
"I'm not Carrie! I've never met you! I thought you were my blind date
because of the carnations!"
He puts his hand through his hair as realization comes to him. "Shit!
You're my pal's friend, Gail- I mean Gail's sister, aren't you?"
"YES!!! What is going on?!? You ARE my date, AREN'T you?"
"Crap! I mean- yeah, but.. You wouldn't believe. I HAVE to show you
something!"
"I don't know if I can take anymore!"