Ok this is my first fanfiction, so I'm really sorry if it's really terrible > honestly I don't think it's that great, but my sister can't get to the internet and so can't tell me how to improve it, so I'm hoping you guys can tell what I need to do to improve my story. I hope you guys don't hate it, I know it's not that great, but I just woke up one morning and decided to write a story about Gaara and some random character that I made up. Anyways here's the full summery (well I'll try and make it a full summery, I've never done that either ;)

Gaara is now 22 years old, and he is and been content being Kazekage. Having the respect and aknowledgement of the village is all he needs, or is it? Why does he feel lonely at night? Why is he longing to have someone be there by his side? And is there someone out there for him?Hana is finally able to return to Suna, a place she played at when she was a little girl, a place where she befriended a lonely little boy with messy red hair and green eyes. Where is this mysterious little boy now? What has become of him? Will she ever again meet that little boy from her memories?

Chapter 1: Memories

Flashback.

Six year old Gaara sat on the swings by himself again, like everyday. Why do they look at me with those eyes?... What's wrong with me?... Why don't they play with me? Tears started to well up into his jade colored eyes. He lowered his head and shut his eyes tight, squeezing the ropes on the swing tightly as he clutched his heart with his other hand. Why? But unknown to him, a pair of violet eyes watched him intently.

Gaara, so deep into his grief and pain didn't notice someone had followed him to the swing set. They were right in front of him now, and still he kept on crying…"Why are you crying?" a soft young voice asked him. He gasped, and looked up quickly, distracted for a minute. In front of him stood a little girl his age, with hair as black as night tied up in piggy-braids, violet eyes, and head cocked to one side with a curious look on her face.

"B-b-because n-no one p-p-plays with me." He replied sadly. He lowered his eyes to the ground, wishing the girl would go away. He didn't want to see that look in her eyes…that cold, cold look. But the girl just squatted down so she could make eye contact with him again. "Why?" she asked him. He turned his eyes away to avoid her gaze. "Cuz I'm a monster." He replied dejectedly. With his head turned and his eyes away from the girl he didn't see her walk behind him while she put her small fingers in his hair looking like she was searching for lice. He vaulted up out of the swing like lightning, "What are you doing?" he demanded with a slight blushed. No one has ever touched him before except Yashamaru.

"Well I thought monsters were supposed to be scary looking. With claws and horns and scary teeth. You don't look like a monster to me." She said with her head cocked to one side again. His heart pounded in his chest…don't look like a monster to me…he was scared to breathe. What is she saying? But she just looked at him, then she smiled slowly, "Wanna play with me?" Gaara just stared at her with astonishment, scared, so scared to hope. She giggled at the face he was making, "Hehehe, what's your name?" she asked.

He looked down, suddenly shy "G-Ga-Gaara." He said softly, looking back at her discreetly to see her reaction. She smiled wide at him, "I'm Hana, wanna see what I found?" she didn't even bother to wait for his answer, but grabbed his hand to lead him to this small treasure she had found. His heart was beating fast, he didn't understand it. Usually his heart would always be in pain, but now, looking down at his small hand clasped in her smaller one, he was feeling…he just couldn't describe it, but whatever it was, his heart stopped hurting.

Hours later, just as the sun was setting Hana heard her mother calling her. She smiled at Gaara, her new friend, "I have to go eat dinner now, I'll see you tomorrow Gaara." She turned to leave but was stopped by a wall of sand. Confused she turned to look at Gaara who's hand were clenched at his sides and face looking down. "You can't leave, you can't leave me. I won't let you! I don't want to be alone anymore!" he screamed at her. Hana gazed sadly at the boy in front of her with unshed tears in his defiant eyes. She walked over to him slowly, and with a little smile on her face, wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly to her. "Gaara, I'm not going to leave you. You're my friend. If you want, you can eat dinner with Mother and me." She pulled back to look at him, "You're not alone anymore, you have me."

End of flashback.

Sixteen years later…

Yuki Hana rubbed her eyes and blinked against the harsh sunlight rippling through her window. What was with the flashback? I haven't seen or heard from him since those three days Mother and I spend in Suna. I wonder how he is. She thought to herself as she went through her daily morning routine. I should go back and visit him sometime, she thought, as she got dressed. "Hmm I wonder what he'll look like." She said aloud, remembering fondly of the boy with red messy hair and the loneliest green eyes she's ever seen. Feeling guilty that she had broke her promise to him, but how was she to know that she would never again see Suna?

Knock, knock. "Hana-sensei you ready yet? We're going to be late, and this'll be our fist mission in a while." A male voice called from the other side of her apartment door. "Coming Koji-kun!" she called to her student as she put on her head protector. She smiled at herself in the mirror, a proud Rain Jounin.

As Hana, and her students Koji, Keisuke, and Akari listened to the details of their mission, Hana became more and more excited. It was a diplomatic mission to Suna, asking them for help since the Earth country was attacking their own village repeatedly. The Rain country being as small as it is, doesn't have enough ninja to fight off attacks and keep bringing in money from missions, true they were in a desperate state, but she couldn't help herself. It was like the dream/flashback she had was letting her know what was going to happen, a wonderful coincidence.

Once they were done with their meeting with the Amekage and they were walking back to go pack, she smiled as she watched her students eagerly talk about their up coming mission, excited about finally leaving the village. This is how kids should be, she thought to herself. Happy with friends and having fun. But remembering the boy in her memories, he was anything but happy. She felt a pain in her heart, no child should be as unhappy as he was. She hoped with all her heart that he had found some happiness in his life.

Gaara stretched out his muscles as he finished analyzing and signing the last of the documents on his desk. He slowly got up and grabbed his tea as he stood and looked out the window, staring down at his village. He had been Kazekage for years now, and he enjoyed it. Enjoyed being respected by his village, though they still had a little fear in their eyes, they at least acknowledged him now. He remembered telling Kankuro that the respect and need that his people had for him was all he needed, all he wanted, but lately at night it was beginning to become lonely again. Even though he no longer had the Ichibi in him, he rarely slept. Instead he would look over his village night after night, and each night he'd see through the windows of families or couples. Wondering what such a life felt like, and if there would ever be someone waiting for him at home. Someone to talk with him, be with him, share her life with him.

He sighed as he thought about his friend Naruto, he just left today from Suna, paying him a visit. Naruto just recently got himself a girlfriend, the quite pale-eyed Huuga Hinata; and he seemed as happy as always. Happier now that he had found someone who loved him, Kyuubi, and all. Gaara was happy for his friend, he deserved happiness; but he couldn't help but feel a little envious, didn't he deserve a little happiness to?

"Aaahhh this mission is so boring!" Keisuke yelled. Koji just rolled his eyes while Akari giggled. Hana smiled, "Well at least you'll see a village that you've never been to before. Suna, is very beautiful." Akari looked at her sensei, "Have you been to Suna before Hana-sensei?" Hana looked into the fire, thinking again of the lonely boy in her memories, "One once, when I was a little girl." "You guys aren't going to talk about girly stuff again are you?" Keisuke interrupted. Akari bonked him on the head, "Well if you don't want to listen the least you could do is leave." Hana smiled, "Yes Keisuke, why don't you train a bit, since you're not tired." Keisuke pouted and left while Koji excused himself to go to sleep.

"So what happened while you were there?" Akari asked, eager to get back to the story her sensei started. "Well my parents had an arranged marriage, but they never learned to love each other. So when my father had passed away, my mother saw her freedom. After the morning period, she took me to see different places. She had always wanted to travel. So we spent a few days in each village, Suna being one of them." Hana looked up at the night sky, letting her mind drift back to those three days in Suna. "I met and befriended a boy there. At first I was playing with the other kids, but when I saw him in the distance, all by himself I felt bad for him. I had never met anyone who needed a friend so badly." Akari smiled, she loved her sensei like an older sister. She had to be one of the most kindest soft-hearted people she knew, never wanting anyone to feel sad or alone. She hoped one day she could be just like her sensei.

Once Hana was done reminiscing she looked over at Akari and smiled, she was already asleep. Hana shook her shoulder, "Akari, wake up. Go to bed, it's been a long day. Thank you for listening to me" Akari sleepily looked up at her and nodded, yawning and going off to their tent. Hana stood up and put out the fire, hearing some light snoring from the boy's tent, she didn't need to worry about Keisuke, he was the one snoring. She couldn't sleep, she was too excited, and she quickly looked around trying to sense any danger. Once she determined it was safe, she quickly took off for Suna, it's only a couple of miles away, and I won't stay long, she told herself.

Once she arrived at Suna, she paused, loving its beauty. Some people didn't like the desert because of its barrenness, but that was the main reason why she loved it. Living in the desert, you appreciate water, plants, and life so much more. And it also gave you a spectacular view of the stars. She didn't want to be mistaken as a trespasser, so she jumped to a hill near the village, and looked down upon it, wondering in which house was the boy of her memories. (She hasn't heard that Gaara is the Kazekage)

Gaara was on the outskirts of the village; he didn't want to see the families and the couples tonight. He didn't want to feel envious of his people, of anyone. He didn't want to feel this loneliness. He didn't want to feel pain in his heart again. Though Naruto had taught him about trust and friendship, he still kept himself a little distant, not wanting anyone to see him whole. Though he was close with Temari and Kankuro, they can't stop this kind loneliness in him, and though there are some women in the village who try to lead him to their bed, he had a feeling that had more to do with his title of Kazekage than himself as a man, as a person.

As he brooded over his thoughts of loneliness and how to fix it, he walked to his favorite spot just outside the village, close enough and high enough to watch over it, but far enough so he couldn't see the people in their homes. He looked up a noticed someone already in his spot, the full moon shining down it's light, showing him it was a woman. He scowled, Who is that? No one from the village would be here. An enemy?, he wondered. Well better to be safe that sorry, he would not allow any threats to his village.

In the blink of an eye he was in front of her, "Who are you and what are you doing here?" Hana gasped and cursed herself, she was so busy wrapped up in her thoughts, she didn't even sense the man now in front of her. She raised her hands in a defensive manner, "My name is Yuki Hana, and I come from the Rain country. I'm here to see the Kazekage, I mean no harm." She studied the man in front of her; he seemed to relax a little. It was difficult to distinguish his features even though there was a full moon; all she could tell was that he was tall with dark, short messy hair.

Gaara relaxed a bit; if she was here to see him then she was no enemy. "I am the Kazekage, what do you want of me?" She shook her head, "Gomen, but here in the dark and outside of the village, I cannot tell if you are the Kazekage or not. Forgive me, but if you are who you say you are, then I shall state my business tomorrow." He nodded, he was a bit upset that she didn't believe him, however he understood where she was coming from. He moved to stand next to her, and watch his village, comfortable silence filling between them.

"I've been to Suna only once, and I missed it. My team is still miles from here, but I couldn't sleep, I was too excited to come back here." She stated quietly. She didn't know why she told him this, but being the Kazekage, he would have probably understood. The corners of his mouth came up slightly, but he remained silent. She turned to him and smiled, "Well I better get back to my team. If you are the Kazekage, then I shall see you tomorrow." And with that she bowed and left. He watched her go then looked back at his village, and for the first time since becoming Kazekage, he didn't see the village, instead his mind and eyes were filled with a certain woman.

As Hana and her team walked into Suna the next day, she kept looking around, wondering where she was going to find the boy of her memories. Akari smiled, "Trying to look for him?" Hana put her hand behind her head and gave an embarrassed laugh, "Am I that obvious?" "Hai." Koji answered. "Huh? Nani? What's going on?" Keisuke asked. Hana laughed again, "Oh nothing. Come on let's go see the Kazekage."

"Sensei, do you know who the Kazekage is?" Koji asked. "Actually I don't, but every leader of a village has a specific room that they do their work in, and usually it's easy to spot. Like right over there." She pointed to a large circular building over looking the whole village. Once they reached the building they asked a sand ninja to see the Kazekage, "Yes, he is waiting for you." And led them upstairs. "He knew we were coming?" Akari asked aloud to no one in particular. "Oh he's good." Keisuke smirked.

Once they arrived and had been announced the ninja left them alone. The Kazekage had his back to them, staring out one of his windows. "Kazekage-sama, I am Yuki Hana and this is my team Koji, Akari, and Keisuke. We are here on behalf of the Rain country in a diplomatic mission." Hana stated after they bowed formally. "We are here to ask…" Hana started but never finished, for Gaara had turned to look at them, she recognized him immediately. She was suddenly speechless, seeing him again. He was tall and his red hair looked the same, the only thing different about him was he now had a tattoo on his forehead. He was probably the most handsome man she's every laid eyes on. This thought confused her, why did she think of him like that?

"Sensei, doshita?" Koji asked. Akari looked at her sensei and smiled, This is probably the boy she was talking about. Keisuke sighed, annoyed with his sensei, Why is she acting so weird?, "Look we're here to ask for you help." He stated for her. Having one of her students answer for her shook her out of her thoughts. "Hai, though the Sand and the Rain have never been enemies, they also never been officially allies. We come here to ask for you to become, officially, our allies and help us fight off our attackers." She sighed in relief, glad that she was able to get it all out without stuttering.

Gaara just stood there looking at them, silent. Hana frowned, Why isn't he saying anything?, "Hey, Koji, Akari, and Keisuke, I want you to leave right now. Go explore the village, go shopping or whatever. I need to talk to Kazekage-sama alone." She commanded. "Nani?" all three of them exclaimed. "Now!" she usually was never stern with them, so when she was, they knew not to question her. Akari was the last to leave and as she did, she turned back around and hoped for the best for her sensei.

Garra wondered why she made her students leave, but he remained silent, knowing that she would eventually tell him. He studied her, she was slender but had all the right curves in all the right places, her black hair tied up in a braided bun, but he couldn't see the color of her eyes. For some reason he desperately wanted to know, needed to know the color of her eyes.

Hana kept her head down, trying to come to terms with finally seeing the boy of her memories. She suddenly felt so sad that she wasn't able to be with him as they grew up. And now he's Kazekage! She felt tears form in her eyes, "Ga-Gaara? Is that really you?" she asked hesitantly as she slowly looked up at him. He was surprised at her question, it was almost like she knew him before, but he couldn't place her. He was satisfied though, her eyes were violet. "Of course. Who else would I be?" he asked her.

She slowly walked towards him, tears now falling down her cheeks. She smiled through her tears, when at last she was right in front of him, she couldn't contain herself anymore. She jumped and wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body to his, in a tight hug. He gasped, no one has ever hugged him before, and he didn't know what to do. He felt her breasts crushed against his chest and her hips oh so close to his. He didn't understand this feeling, why his heart was beating fast. She breathed against his neck, "I'm sorry, so sorry I wasn't able to be there for you. I wanted to, really I did. Oh Gaara I missed you so much."

He was at a lost for words, What is she talking about? I've never met her before in my life. But feeling her breath on his neck, brought alive a part of him that was never alive before. He could feel it rising and getting harder, and it hurt, he didn't want her to feel it so he pushed her from him. He was panting softly and really confused. What's going on with my body?

Hana looked at him surprised. Why did he push me away? "Gaara, what's wrong? Why won't you talk to me? Don't you remember me?" She asked him. He looked at her, and cleared his throat, trying to get his body under control. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I only met you last night." Hana's jaw dropped, He…he doesn't remember me? Demo…demo…, "Demo…" she didn't know what to say. She never anticipated that he would forget her.

"Now getting back to your mission…" he started sternly, Hana blushed. "I shall think on it, and give you my answer at the end of the week. Meanwhile I suggest you stay here and allow us to show you our hospitality." He stated, he didn't know why he said that, he could have made up his mind right now, but she intrigued him. Have we really met before?, he found it hard to believe, anyone he knew never greeted him like she had. She lowered her head and nodded, "Hai, arigato gozaimasu." She said softly, and with that she scurried out of the room.

She leaned against the door, and sighed softly. Why doesn't he remember me? I know it was a long time ago, and it wasn't for very long, but still. He said he would never forget me, she though sadly. She turned around towards the door, "Gaara." She whispered softly. Hana felt her heart break, Why would it matter if he doesn't remember me? It's not like he needs me anymore. He obviously found acceptance from his people. I suppose it's time to move on and leave the boy in my memories behind. And with that she turned to look for her students.

Gaara watched her leave, and sighed. What was wrong with me? Why do I feel guilty about making her sad? I've never met her before…so why does the room feel empty now that she's gone? He frowned, she was a distraction, and he should avoid her at all costs. Yet, for some reason, when she hugged him, the pain in his chest stopped, and he felt excited, like when he was younger and about to kill someone. His heart beat faster and he felt pleasure, except this was a little different. He sighed; it was going to be difficult concentrating on work.

Ok what do you guys think of my first chapter? Pardon my sad excuse of trying to incorporate Japanese, I don't know the language very well but I thought it would be fun. I would really appreciate if you guys would review for me and let me know how I can improve. I don't mind if you critize my work, but please no bashing > if you hate it with a passion then just don't read the rest of it and please keep it to yourself. But if you have a suggestion (contructive criticism) then by all means let me know. I'll try and update often, but my school work load isn't exactly the lightest, but I'll try