I'm really into genderbending and yaoi. So, I was thinking "What if Ted was a girl?" Obviously she would be in love with Barney (sorry, guys, I'm not a big fan of Robin). She would still be his wingman. I think the show would be funnier. And I could totally picture her running away with him on the day of the wedding. Anyway, this came out a little more dramatic than I meant it to be. Please review!
When she saw him in Robin's room, cleaning the rose petals off of the bed, she'd thought she'd been hallucinating. After all, she wasn't completely sober. For a second, she stood in the doorway. Should I leave? She thought. It was very tempting to pretend this never happened. But then she saw his face.
It was blank. No emotion. But she knew him better than anyone and knew exactly how he felt about Robin. It was the way she felt about him. And then she knew that it was too late to leave. She stepped forward to put a hand on his shoulder before he could blow out the candles.
He turned around, startled, and definitely not expecting to see her. "Eve. What are you doing here?"
"I live here," the woman said, raising an eyebrow. "And I thought I heard something when I came in so I came to check it out. What are you doing here?"
"Just cleaning up," he said, not looking her in the eye.
"This isn't your room to clean. Just tell me what's going on, Barney." She was sick of it. The lies, the women… She just wanted him to be honest with her. Well, she wanted a little more than that, but that could wait until later.
He seemed conflicted before finally relenting and sitting down on the bed. She sat beside him. "Robin and I made a deal earlier to break up with Nora and Kevin and get back together. But she didn't follow through. Now, I have to clean up all of this crap before she comes up here."
"Assumptions," she muttered.
He chuckled a little. "They definitely made an ass out of me."
"So, what are you going to do now?"
"Isn't it obvious?"
He was going back to the lies and the women. She sighed, disappointed. "I guess it is."
She got up to leave, but before she could reach the door, he grabbed her arm. "Wait!"
"What is it?" She asked. Her mind was lucid now. Every detail in this situation presented itself loud an clear. He was gazing at her as if he'd just realized something and she could her heart pounding in the silence. She wondered if he could hear it, too, if he could see the need in her eyes.
Was it really that hard? She thought. Pulling him to me and pressing my lips to his? He'd been her best friend for so long, longer than she'd been Robin's, but could she really do it?
She didn't have to.
He pulled her back down to his level on the bed, and pressed their lips together. She moaned as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. She could taste a bit of alcohol and kissed him deeper. She wanted more of him.
They'd kissed a few times before, but never like this. They'd helped each other get laid, but never had sex with each other. She didn't know when she started to want him. Maybe it was when they first met. Despite her rejection, they'd connected and become close friends. Still, she couldn't believed that he could change the way he had.
He pulled away to look directly into her eyes. "Sorry, Eve. I didn't mean to–"
She interrupted him with another kiss.
He smiled against her lips. "I guess that means we're good?"
"I was hoping for a little more than that," she pulled away to grab his hand and pull him to her side of the apartment.
He seemed dazed as he followed her across the living room to her bedroom. When they got there, they didn't waste anymore time. He pushed her up against the back of the door. She wrapped her legs around his waist. He quickly pulled her thick sweater off and unhooked her bra, quickly wrapping his skilled lips around one of her nipples.
She wanted to do something, anything to distract her from what he was doing. The sensation was making her dizzy. She pushed him back onto her bed and climbed on top of him. She untied his tie and unbuttoned his shirt, treating both items with care and knowing how much they meant to him.
She kissed him slowly, languidly, as she reached the last button. She slid her hand down to the bulge between them, and he sucked in a breath. She grinned teasingly, slowly pulling down the zipper. He stopped her.
"We shouldn't be doing this."
She tried not to let her disappointment show.
But then she was on her back, and he was on top of her. "But it doesn't matter. I want to."
She wanted him to say the words she knew he would never say. Even when he took off her pants and buried his tongue within her, she still didn't hear the words she wanted to hear. What she wanted was for him to say "I love you."
She knew that it was silly and childish. She knew that for him this could just be another one night stand. But without those words, could she really believe that it was her he was having sex with? She buried her fingers in his hair as she thought this. Even after she climaxed she couldn't stop thinking about it.
He kissed her, and she tasted herself on his lips. She wondered if she was allowed to believe this was real. He felt real. That orgasm was definitely. But there was something wrong.
"What's wrong?" she asked aloud. "Are you really okay with this? You could still have a chance with Robin. But if you sleep with me–"
"Eve, in case you didn't notice, I'm the one on top. I want to do this," he kissed her again, more deeply this time as he buried his member within her.
The first time was hard and fast. He seemed to be trying to get something out if his system. Probably Robin, she thought, even as she yelled his name. What surprised her was when he moaned hers. Did her really see her?
Her short, dark hair was similar to Robin's and they had similar bodies. As long as Barney wasn't looking into her eyes, he could pretend all he wanted.
The second time they did it was oddly slow and sweet. He was making love to her while looking directly into her eyes. She felt open and vulnerable, even when she saw the sad look in his eyes and realized that he did want this. He wanted her, but that didn't mean that he would just forget about Robin.
She wanted to stop him and say that this was a mistake. What if Robin and him were meant to be together? She tried to ignore the thought in the back of her mind that said, "What if you and Barney are?"
She gasped out his name, holding him closer as she felt herself tighten around his member. When they finished, he held her against his chest, burying his face in her hair.
"You're staying?" she asked. She was a grown woman. She!d had enough heart break to know guys like Barney didn't stick around. Hell, she herself had one night stands all the time. Still, the romantic in her held her breath.
"Of course, I'm staying," he said. "What? Did you think that this was just another night for me?"
She turned around to face him. "What was I supposed to think?"
He was quiet then, brushing the hair out of her face.
"What is this?" she asked.
"I don't know," he answered. "I'm s–"
"Don't say it," she interrupted. "If this meant anything to you, then don't apologize."
"It did," he said. "I can't just bang you and leave. You're my wingman, my bro–"
"I'm a woman," she interrupted again.
"Point is, you've been here for me even when Robin hasn't."
So he did realize it, she thought, wrapping her arms around him.
"So, I'm staying."
She wanted to say that if he couldn't make up his mind right now then they shouldn't see each other until he did. She wanted to tell him to leave. She wanted to tell him she loved him. She wished she could say that she said any of these things.
Instead she asked, "Aren't you in love with her?"
"I am," he said. "That's why I'm so confused."
We didn't say anymore after that. We couldn't. Instead, we laid in bed, side by side, unable to sleep. He stroked her hair, she held his hand. They heard Robin come in at five in the morning, and finally got up. They got dressed, and went up to the roof to share a cigarette.
"What now?" she asked. "Are you going to wait for her?"
"I'll try," he said, taking a drag of the cigarette. "What about you? Gonna to keep looking for your soulmate?"
"If I haven't already met him," she answered, trying hard not to look at him.
"You mean Victor? I thought you were over him."
"He could still be the one." A part of her just didn't believe it.
"God, you are such a romantic."
As the new day was dawning, she could tell that whatever vulnerability he'd shown her was being hidden away again. She wanted to demand that he to define what had just happened between them. Was this going to happen again? Was he just blowing off some steam?
"What are you guys doing up here so early?"
They both nearly jumped at the sound of Robin's cheery voice. She joined them with a cigarette of her own.
"What are you doing here, Barney?" Robin asked suspiciously.
"He stayed the night," Eve answered.
Robin's eyes widened. "You two–?"
"It was just this once," Barney said quickly. "I needed someone and Eve was here."
"Yeah…" Eve said softly. So, he chose her. Was she ever even an option? Whatever he'd been confused about earlier, he now seemed sure of as he gazed at Robin.
Robin nodded slowly, a look of understanding briefly crossing her face.
"Well, I really need to get started on my lesson plan," Eve said, practically tripping over her own two feet to get to the fire escape. "See you guys later."
She couldn't be around those two any longer than she had to be.
