A/N: Post 5x07 fix it. Please excuse any grammatical errors, it isn't beta-ed and english is not my first language.
Also, sorry for any kind of -out-of-character- stuff, mainly Steve.
Gail Peck is used to regretting decisions she's made for a long time now. But the decision of ignoring Holly's attempts at contacting her was probably the stupidest one. And now, they had officially broken up and Holly was seeing someone else. The mere thought that Gail supposed they hadn't broken up (even after weeks of non-talking to her favorite forensic pathologist) was starting to feel like the most childish assumption she's ever made, too.
Of course Holly moved on.
Gail behaved like the biggest brat on earth, ignored her for weeks, and then made the lamest reconciliation attempt. It'd actually be surprising if she just received her with open arms, completely available.
I'm such a moron. God!
Truth be told, she wasn't expecting to meet Holly that day. She wasn't ready.
Sure, she has been miserable for a long time now, and was, for a while, starting to admit she screwed up big time. But how in hell was she supposed to talk to Holly again after all that mess she managed to pile up? She was postponing day by day, waiting for some kind of epiphany. But it did not come. So when Traci asked her to go down to the morgue, Gail started to panic. And to worsen things up, she had to take Oliver's daughter everywhere with her – which didn't convey the most romantic set up.
Gail ended up blabbering like a fool, smiling out of pure nervousness, and failed to communicate pretty badly, ending up feeling like the biggest tool on earth. And that was just after their first encounter. After Holly told her she was seeing someone, all of Gail's frustration and regrets came out in form of an out-of-control scream: 'IZZYYY!'.
Way to play it cool, Peck.
So obviously, after the hell of a day she had, the last thing Gail needed was to see once again the person she longed for but could not have again. But she did. The courier must've been really sick this time, if Holly ended up having to bring her that rotten thumb to the precinct.
And in the middle of the most casual of conversations, Gail's wall melted as she tried for the second time to apologize for her behavior – this time around though, she might've done a better job, since Holly's eyes seemed to be watering up.
Or was that just wishful thinking? Gail wasn't sure. But even though Holly ended up saying goodnight and leaving her right there with a thumb in a plastic bag, at least she was finally honest and told Holly what she thought of her: that she was the most wonderful person she's ever met.
Holly Stewart is usually proud to admit she's put together and always keeps her emotions in check (even when her former girlfriend spontaneously decided to chop off most of her hair).
But now, Holly is not so sure.
It's not the first time, now that she thinks of it. She also transformed into a blabbering fool when she heard Gail might have been shot at. But that was different.
Now she was a real mess. Probably for the first time in the last few years, the doctor did not know what to do.
She knew one thing though: she knew she needed time to think. It's ironic how in the past few weeks all she wanted was to reach Gail and talk to her, but after their last interactions she can't handle being near her so soon again. Gail had the nerve to ignore her calls, not making it possible to try any kind of reconciliation. They needed to talk but the blonde cop cut all connections for too long. And after weeks of suffering because of their distance and silence, Gail had to come down to the morgue and casually try to apologize.
Granted, she was not alone. She had that teenage girl with her. It was not the perfect atmosphere for apologizing. But it was too late to even try any kind of resolution.
Holly sighed deeply. She was working late in the lab and remembering the last words she and Gail exchanged at the precinct, once again: the words that have been tormenting her for the last couple of hours.
I don't want to end up a sad sorry woman who threw away the most wonderful person she's ever met.
God, Gail. – Holly thought, tears welling up in her eyes once again - Why didn't you say that the day after you left me at the bar. Or hell, the week after? You idiot.
Holly instinctively grabbed her phone, and sent a quick text to cancel the date she had scheduled a few days before. She couldn't handle Gail right now, but she sure as hell couldn't even gather up the energy and will for a date that night. She had work to do that she could postpone, but she needed the piece of quiet of her workplace during the night.
"Hey Steve…?" – Gail quietly called her brother as he passed by her desk the next morning.
"Yeah?" – He stopped in his tracks, a folder in his hands.
"Do you have time for a coffee?" – She asked.
"What, right now?" – He asked, clearly surprised by the invitation.
"No, in two weeks. Can you check your schedule?" – Gail asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
When Steve didn't answer, Gail stood up and grabbed his arm.
"Yes, right now. C'mon."
When they were both served with coffees, Gail leaned on the kitchen counter and said, paying more attention to the coffee cup than her brother.
"So I screwed up big time."
"At work?" – Steve asked.
"No not at work. I'd never drag you to coffee to admit I screwed up at work."
"…Right." – Steve eventually agreed. His sister kept twirling the coffee with the little plastic spoon.
"With Holly." – She eventually admitted.
"Ah. What happened?" – He asked, joining Gail by the counter.
"I jumped to conclusions, said something really harsh, and ignored her calls for more than two weeks. Now she's seeing someone else." – Gail blurted out, somehow managing to hold back her tears.
Steve raised his eyebrows, opened his mouth to say something, but quickly changed his mind.
"Why…?" – He eventually asked, trying to be careful with his words. He didn't want Gail to run away from this moment too. She obviously needed to talk to someone, and Steve was glad he was in the receiving end for a change.
"Because I'm an idiot. Anyway, I need to talk to her. Bad. But I doubt she wants to – she's too nice to shut me out like I shut her out, but it's not as if I can do anything to save the situation now, right? She's dating someone." – Gail blurted out.
"Ok. First of all, it's been a couple of weeks. I seriously doubt whoever she's dating is 100% serious."- Steve stated.
"We were dating for some weeks and it looked pretty serious to me." – Gail admitted.
"Ah. Did she know that?" – Her brother asked.
"Not really." – Gail said, suddenly realizing another wrong decision.
Steve sighed.
"Listen, I think you two need to talk it out. Even if she's with someone else know, she deserves to at least know how important you were to her. It might be too late for that, but she needs to know it." – He said.
"I kinda told her yesterday she was the most wonderful person I've ever met." – Gail confessed, hoping it'd mean something. It was probably the cheesiest thing she's ever said. It was true nevertheless.
"Really?" – Steve asked, clearly surprised.
"Yeah. But she left nevertheless."
"No, I meant, is she? The most wonderful person you've ever met?"
Gail looked at Steve, not understanding why he'd ask that in the first place.
"Of course. Why else would I say it?"
"You're in love, little sister." – Steve said with a doofus smile.
"That's not even remotely helpful." – Gail said, clearly annoyed by her brother's statement, making a move to leave the kitchen.
"Okay, okay. Hold it!" – Steve called after his sister, following her out the room. Gail kept on walking, but Steve eventually caught up to her stride.
"Listen, you have to tell her that. Immediately. If that doesn't even make her budge, then I'm sorry but it's too late. Seriously though, at this point you have nothing to lose."
"Only my pride." – Gail said, though she didn't care for her pride at this point.
"The very same pride that made you ignore her calls for weeks?" – Steve pointed out.
"FINE. I get it. I have to talk to her. Tell me how though, if we both work crazy hours, and oh, how could I forget; she's busy dating someone else?"
"I can find some random things to send to the morgue."
"Really, you'll get me some random severed legs? Thanks! I'll be waiting for them tomorrow morning in my desk." – Gail responded sarcastically, almost reaching said desk.
"Ok, maybe not the brightest idea. I'll think of something. You should do the same." – Steve advised, patting her back and leaving to resume his work.
The next day, Holly was leaving for lunch break when she spotted Steve Peck leaning over a car, by the morgue's entrance.
"Steve. Hi!" – She greeted, barely hiding the surprise on her face. Surely it had to be something work-wise.
"Hey Holly. I'm afraid I'll need you down at 15th. Do you mind going there now?" – He asked in a serious tone.
"What's up? Do I need my gear?" – She eventually asks, holding the passenger's seat door.
"No, it's mostly bureaucracies. Unfortunately they have to be dealt with now because a rookie made a huge mistake and we just noticed. I'm sorry to be stealing your lunch time. We'll provide you with something to eat at the station."
"Is it that classified that I need a ride from a detective?" - She asked, finally getting into the car.
"I overheard my colleagues talking about the issue and offered to come and get you. For personal reasons. You see, my sister, she-"
"Steve, I really don't want to talk about your sister right now. I'm sorry." – Holly said politely.
Steve obliged and decided to change the subject until they arrived at the station.
Holly followed him inside and as soon as she noticed where they were heading (the cell block), she knew something was up. Granted, she suspected something was up as soon as he conveyed that ridiculous excuse for going down to 15th, though probable to happen, it still sounded fishy. But she assumed he only did it so he could try to get some time alone with her and talk about Gail, as she was immediately proved right when they entered the car.
Even though it slightly annoyed her that Gail resorted to her brother to try and get on better terms with her, and how she did not foresee that plan would fail, when Steve stopped by a prison cell occupied by a blonde, familiar cop inside, she knew Steve was just a mean to an end, and that the real plan was bigger than it previously looked. Holly had to admit it was still a better plan to lock her inside a jail cell than merely relying on his brother's power of argumentation. It was still a very annoying plan.
"If you please." -Steve asked, pointing towards the cell.
Holly rolled her eyes. Her lunchtime was ruined anyway, might as well hear what Gail had to say. She entered the cell and sat down at the empty bench. Steve closed the door and actually locked it.
"Is that necessary?" – Holly asked.
"I know how annoying she can be. Just in case you feel like leaving before she says the important stuff." – Steve winked, said something to his colleague who was standing nearby and left.
Gail knew her too well. She knew Holly wouldn't want to make a fuss and would oblige to this ridiculous plan. And so there she was. Slightly annoyed and mostly curious.
"I only have one hour left." – Holly said, folding her arms.
"I know. I just need 5 minutes of your time." – Gail eventually said from the other bench.
"You're incredibly calm for someone who's abusing their power." – Holly stated, while pointing at the whole cell.
"I'm sorry for that. I just needed some time alone with you. I have to tell you something."
"Oh really?" – Holly asked, obviously directing her sarcastic tone towards the fact that Gail had ignored her for weeks.
Gail felt a sting on her chest. She deserved that.
Tell her that. Tell her everything. Don't hold back.
"I deserved that. I deserve every single drop of sarcasm and hatred you might feel against me, Holly."
Holly wanted to interrupt but she noticed Gail was not finished yet.
"Actually, I don't even deserve that. I don't deserve anything from you. I'm an idiot. I screwed up, I didn't listen to you, I panicked, I…Listen, I know. It's too late now. But you need to know how important you are to me. I need you in my life, Holly."
Holly couldn't find anything to say. How did she let this happen? She tried to avoid this confrontation. She knew if she faced Gail, if she apologized sincerely, she'd break. She misses her too much. But she can't admit that. Gail will only hurt her again.
"And I know you'll just leave anyway but Holly-"– Gail started to say, her eyes watering up.
Holly noticed that and she suddenly felt like someone had just kicked her in the chest. She looked down, trying to gather up the courage to interrupt Gail and get the hell out of there before she did something she might regret.
"I love you." – Gail said.
Holly did not expect to hear that.
"…what?" – She eventually asked, looking up.
"I love you." – Gail repeated, louder this time. "And I know that doesn't turn back time, but I just had to say it. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you now. "
Gail stood up, making her way to the cell door. Holly was still processing what she just heard.
Gail gestured to the policeman who was monitoring the cells and said: "Hey, you can open the door now."
Holly heard the exchange.
"Actually, officer, we need some more minutes here." – Holly demanded, standing up.
Gail was slightly taken back by Holly's sudden proximity. The policeman just nodded and went away again, shaking his head.
"Listen up; my friend sometimes likes to judge people and relationships pretty fast, sometimes she's right, sometimes she isn't. But that night I didn't feel like starting an argument with her because it was a special night and I didn't want to get mad at her. So I dismissed her and you probably only heard that part. Which ironically is even worse than what she did, because you judged me in the wrong context after knowing me for quite some time. I never thought you were a beat cop. And us was not all about just having fun."
Gail knew all that now but she thought it wise not to interrupt Holly.
"You hurt me pretty badly, ignore me for weeks and expect to solve everything by locking me up at jail and saying you love me?"
"No. I don't. I-I… just wished I said it sooner. I wish I realized it sooner. If I had I probably wouldn't panic like I did. I wouldn't have gotten so insecure by what I heard and actually believe what your friend said. I just-listen, I have no excuse, really, it's fine if you never forgive me. But I just had to tell you-"
Gail tried to finish her sentence but eventually her mouth got blocked by another one.
Holly was kissing her, hard. It was a desperate kiss; somewhat similar to the one Gail had given Holly not very far from where they were right now. Gail responded with as much eagerness as Holly, the tears she was trying to hold finally free.
The doctor eventually broke the kiss and tried to step away to try and figure out exactly where they stood but Gail didn't let the embrace break.
"No way in hell I'm letting you go after that." – She said, tears still rolling down her cheeks.
"I wasn't lying when I said I was seeing someone else." – Holly said with a sad smile on her face. She wiped the tears from Gail's face with her thumbs – "I shouldn't have done that. And I need time to figure things out."
Gail nodded.
Holly turned and called the officer in charge, who opened up the door and let her go.
"Thanks, Bruce." – Gail eventually said towards the officer, leaving shortly after Holly.
"My name's Gary." – He pointed out, clearly annoyed.
A/N: Ok, so, I'm clearly not over with this one. But let me know what you think while I work on the next chapter!
