Upside Down


A/N -

Oh Mah Gawd you guys... my first ever South Park fanfic.

XD

Just saw the episode The Coon, and although there are probably like, 50 billion of these out in fan fiction cyberspace now, this is my contribution.

Seriously though. Matt'n'Trey were just setting us up for this. Little voyeurs.

And I apologise in advance for all the other names for Mysterion. There's only so many times I could say 'Caped Crusader' or 'Masked Avenger', so deal with it.

Slash, and weird predictability. One Shot!

Don't own South Park... it breaks my heart a little each time, but there you go.


The nights in South Park were darker than usual, and not just because a kid in a black costume was turning over bins and calling it social justice. A global recession was plaguing the citizens, causing unrest in the otherwise sleepy mountain town. People were losing their jobs as well as their minds, which is never a good combination for simple country folk who love their guns. Mothers anxiously waited for their husbands to return home, staring out the window avidly to see a pink slip clutched in a shaking hand. Children were being denied toys, causing them to spend more time outside in the frigid air, sourly plotting revenge. And the elderly peered out from bristled eyebrows to make sure their nurses didn't short-change them their daily pills so they could sell them on the black market.

But the people remained hopeful, for there was a light in the darkness; Mysterion, the masked avenger. With a whoosh of his cape, he was single handedly cleaning the figurative scum from South Park's dingy back alleys; righting wrongs, saving lives, and looking after the town.

But even heroes needed help sometimes, and in a village of idiots, there was only one person a caped crusader could turn to.

Kyle was slumped at his computer desk, one hand settled protectively on the mouse and the other hanging limply, almost brushing the ground. His head was cushioned on the keyboard; the pale light from his Terrance and Phillip screensaver flickering across his face, making the shadows between his meshed eyelashes dance.

Kyle couldn't remember when he had fallen asleep, but he did notice when a hand brushed lightly over his pyjama clad shoulder.

"AH!"

"Shhh... It's just me." A rough sounding voice whispered.

"Oh, Mysterion.... You're back." Kyle yawned, and cleared his throat.

"Did you get the information that I needed?" He whispered, eyes shining in the neon glow.

Kyle nodded, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. Absently, he twiddled the mouse, bringing the monitor back to life. Multiple windows were opened; MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, Wikipedia, Twitter, Google Images, Google Maps... Kyle had obviously exhausted every angle he could think of to try and find the information Mysterion needed.

The caped crusader moved to closer to examine the screen.

"What did you learn?"

"The fata- The Coon has enlisted the help of the evil Professor Chaos and his sidekick General Disarray."

"The fiend." Mysterion hissed, slamming his fist onto Kyle's desk.

"They plan to ambush you at the construction site in two days, to try and frame you for all the bad things that have been going on lately."

The masked avenger looked shocked.

"How did you get this information?" He demanded. "You can't leave a paper trail with The Coon. He'll find you."

Kyle smirked.

"I created a false account under the name TheCoonIsGreat, and invited him to join a Facebook community I set up in his honour. Obviously, the dumbass added me, so now I can follow him from a relatively safe distance, gathering information as I go. He's just the kind of idiot who would post his plans for world domination as his status and update it regularly."

Mysterion looked at him, smiling a little.

"I knew I could count on you Kyle."

The boy looked at his fingers, a pink tinge dusting his pale cheeks. "Seriously dude, it's nothing. It's just..."

"Yeah?" Mysterion prompted. Kyle sighed, slide off the chair, and crossed the room to sit on his bed.

"I just want The Coon to stop being such an ass-master." He said, emphatically.

The other smirked.

"But it's true! He's being the biggest douche... and for what? His three seconds of fame?"

Kyle clenched his fists, nails digging into his palms.

"When will people realise that this entire situation isn't just a fight between good and evil anymore? This is a grudge match to put a face on fear. Whoever wins this fight is justice, but whoever loses is evil. That's... just not right. The Coon could do anything to you, and no-body would care. They can't do that to you; build you up and then tear you down again just because you are human like the rest of them."

"Kyle... I..."

Kyle looked up. Mysterion stared back at him, the moonlight streaming in through the window casting shadows across his impenetrable eyes.

He crossed his arms, gravelly voice turning sympathetic. "Kyle, get some sleep. You look exhausted."

Compliantly, Kyle leaned back, feet hitting his pillow. He groaned as he realised he was upside down on his bed, but was just too damn tired to care anymore.

Material whispered as Mysterion lightly moved over him to clamour up onto the windowsill.

"I'll see you soon." A voice promised.

"Wait."

The shadow stopped.

"Who... are you?" Kyle asked drowsily, eyelids lowering as sleep crept relentlessly over him.

"Who do you think I am?" Mysterion asked, sounding amused, yet faintly interested.

Kyle yawned.

"Not... fatass..."

Mysterion chuckled.

"Not... Kenny... your underwear would have... holes... or something..."

Through half lidded eyes, Kyle watched as Mysterion moved away from the window sill, paused, and sat in a crouch at the end of his bed, his knees brushing the top of Kyle's hair.

"Go on." He urged.

Kyle smiled sleepily.

"Not Token..."

"Obviously."

"... Or Jimmy..."

"Great kid though."

"And not... Timmy..."

"Imagine him patrolling the skyline."

Kyle tried to laugh but just ended up yawning again, eyes dipping lower.

"Kyle... Listen to me."

A knuckle grazed his cheek softly. In the gloom, Kyle could see the faint inverted outline of Mysterion leaning over him.

"I'll be back tomorrow night. I still need your help." He whispered, thumb stroking Kyle's cheek.

"... Kay..." He breathed.

"Ok."

For a minute they were still; Kyle's eyes threatening to close and Mysterion's hand curved around his cheek.

Warm lips were suddenly on Kyle's with a sweet, almost clumsy urgency, forcing the redhead into an upside down kiss. Kyle's eyes snapped open in surprise, glazed over as Mysterion's mouth slowly coaxed his open, and fluttered shut again. The hand against Kyle's face stopped stroking and instead slid into his hair, tangling fingers within the curls. Kyle lifted his arms and pressed his hands into Mysterion's neck, running curious fingertips along his jawline.

When they finally broke apart, Kyle opened his eyes and saw a smile on the masked vigilantes' face.

"You're not Wendy either." He murmured, letting his hands drop onto the quilt.

Mysterion chuckled quietly, stood and moved towards the window.

"Goodnight Kyle." He whispered before leaping into the night.

"'Night Stan." Kyle replied softly.


A/N -

... If anyone guesses the extremely obvious movie reference in here, you get thought-airmailed phatasy cookies. All the cool kids have em.

Please review! Karma has got to start somewhere. XP