We have calcium in our bones. Iron in our veins.
Carbon in our souls. And nitrogen in our brains.
93 percent stardust with souls made of flames.
We are all just stars that have people names.
-Nikita Gill
I read that my first year at Uni. I loved it because it my mother thought science was against God and my stepfather said women shouldn't work in the sciences.
I wanted to prove them both wrong.
What are we but stardust and wonder, the universe studying itself?
That's why I wanted to work in medicine.
Never as a practitioner. I couldn't bear the look on someone's face when I tell them there's nothing I can do. More than that I couldn't bear the never-ending hope dashed by the reality that life is terminal. After all we do, after all we sacrifice, after the lost hours of sleeping, eating, and socializing we give to try and extend life by even a minute longer we'll lose.
That's why I went into research. There I can find something new everyday. I give that hope to someone else and then work. I don't see the tears or the sorrow of facing reality. I live in a land of hopeful dreams.
I just didn't know I was the one deluding myself.
After all I've given up to be where I am I only realized it when none of that mattered any longer.
Only after I met him.
What else are you supposed to think when you find someone who truly understands? Someone who, when you look in their eyes, you see that spark? Honestly, in all the years I ever thought I knew what love meant I never expected it to feel like this does. How do you describe the meeting to two souls?
There's a belief out there, the "scientific" explanation of soul mates that says maybe we feel connected to one person more than another because they're made of the stuff that was closest to the stuff that made us. As a scientist I think it's the closest I ever came to a reason for why we feel a profound relationship with some people over others.
Perhaps why, when I look in his eyes, I see my soul reflected there. Something deeper than just a surface level comprehension of my thoughts. This is someone who, on a level deeper than blood or even genetic code, responds to my needs without a thought. This is the other half of me.
He is the other half of me.
