I don't know if I am really back to writing fic (or if this will get any longer). This is just me playing around in the Season 1 sandbox.


Jane took a moment while she was still outside. The air was sharp and cold with the stink of stale ash, though she couldn't spot a smoker in the gathering of women waiting to get in. She tried to ignore hint of piss lingering from the dumpsters that weren't as tucked away as they looked. Romantic. It didn't make her feel like making small talk in dim lighting, with the aim of feeling someone up by the end of the night. She should have chosen another bar, but she was here now. Jane was standing close to where it had happened. She knew the spot well enough; she'd crouched over the body with Maura only a few days ago. Not enough time for someone to have lived and died, but there it was. Right here, on the dirty pavement less than a week ago. A woman had lain here thinking God knows what as the minutes slipped away and something inside of her went dark. Love. And here Jane was. She must have a screw loose.

She closed her eyes and took a breath. She was going to do this. She marched up, lined up among the throng of LGBTABCDEFG–lettered women. It wasn't a short line. Despite the manager being jailed, it was a busy night at Merch and women from all around Boston seemed unaware that something big had even happened. Jane couldn't look at any of them while waiting to get in and once she was inside she tried to let the music and noise fill her head until she wasn't thinking at all. She pressed at her hands, needing something to hold. A drink, two drinks. The bartender was a new one, of course. Jane didn't stutter or sound nervous when she ordered her beer, because this was just a bar. Just a bar. It wasn't any different. The women weren't terrifying, She was fine. She didn't have to stay, didn't have to answer for this night with a new identity. She didn't.

Nobody recognised her as the cop that had hidden among them a few nights ago. She was nobody, and it was a relief. She downed her beer from the bottle and let out a breath, tried to deflate the tension that had built up inside her muscles. She started to look around.

It hit her then how ridiculous she had been. That what was an abstract concept on the way over had to be played out with real people, that she had to be there while it happened. Saying words and making eye contact and she should have stayed at home. She wasn't gay. She wasn't interested in women. Not really.

The song changed to something faster, and she stumbled a little as a couple of women pushed past her.

'Watch it,'

She was ridiculous.

She went back to the bar and downed the rest of her beer, putting the empty bottle on the counter and feeling awkward somehow even in that. Like the bartender could see through her, knew she was a coward. She was.

She headed towards the entrance, but she didn't feel relieved. She felt humiliated, her face growing hot. She didn't even notice that her name was being called.

'Jane?'

The hand was on her arm and she wanted to flinch, but she looked up and didn't understand.

'Maura.'

Maura smiled, but she seemed uncertain.

'What are you…'

'The case…' Jane started, but she couldn't stand the lie even as she started it. 'I mean. I was just…'

Maura's hand was warm, her thumb moving slightly. It was all Jane could do not to react too strongly. She tried not to blink at Maura stupidly. Tried not to make up a lie, even though every instinct told her she needed to be gone. She needed to get out of there.

'I was about to get a drink,' Maura said, and her tone was calm. Soft, like nothing extraordinary was happening. 'Shall we go together?'

Jane felt herself nodding.