CHAPTER 1
Dimitri looked me deeply in the eyes and gave me a half-smile.. We were standing outside, in front of the gym, and the sun and the warm wind played so beautifully with his hair, and made it seem so much more angelic then it already was. His hair was an inch longer from the time in the cabin... I remembered that day so clearly. I could easily say that it was one of my happiest days in my life. Although this wasn't bad either. It made me crack a little smile. He took my breath away. But underneath it all, it all seemed so wrong.. Not that I wasn't happy, because i was very much, but in the back of my head i knew, that something wasn't right.. If i listened close enough, i actually could hear my heart breaking.
We weren't hiding, which didn't seem strange at all, right now. It felt right.. But then again, there wasn't any people around to bust our lust.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked me, while he moved closer to me.
"Nothing important" i said... I lied. I was a heck of i lier these days. I lied so well, that i actually started to believe it myself.. "I know you better than that, Roza." he stood so close to me now, that i could smell that aftershave of his, and feel his bodyheat. I was sucking it all in, every inch of him. I just couldn't get enough. I yearned for him, for his kisses and his touch. "It's been a long time since you last came to me.. I've missed you." i said. I could feel my tears was about to burst out, but i calmed myself with the thought of him next to me. What's with all the emotions? It was actually kind of embarrassing. "I know, I just.. I had some business to take care of" he said, sliding his hand up my back, tangling it in my hair playfully. I gasped for air. "But im here now." he said and smiled. He was so beautiful. So graceful and so..beautiful. God, i needed a bigger vocabulary. "Kiss me." i whispered. And just like that our conversation ended. He leaned down to me, pressing his lips against mine so lightly, cautious, at first, then the kisses grew stronger and stronger. They were hungry and they were consuming me. His hands and lips took possession of my body, and every touch was like fire on my skin. "I love you" he said every time he got the chance to catch his breath, he looked me in the eyes, "Roza, i want you..".. And that's when i saw a hint of red in his eyes, growing stronger.. He kissed me again, so hard this time that i wasn't sure that I ever could break free of his hold. Not that i wanted to. But something felt way of track here. His change of expression wasn't right. All of this, it wasn't right. He pressed me against the building wall, while kissing me hard on the lips, and then he started to make his way down, first to my cheeks, then my jaw, then my neck. "Dimitri, wait..." i moaned. He didn't stop. He slid his hand up to my throut, cutting of my oxygen supply.
"Dimitri, stop!!!!" I hissed. He looked at me, his hand still pressing against my throut. "Dont worry, it won't hurt" he said, cracking a cold smile, showing fangs. His eyes were red and his skin pale white, giving his true identity away. "You're a Strigoi.." I choked out, letting tears drop from my face. He released his hold on me, but i was frozen. I couldn't move, not even an inch. The sharp pain overwhelmed me, it felt like my chest was going to explode, and i was crying my ass out. "I won't hurt you, Roza. You know that. But i want to be together forever, i want you" he said. He leaned down and kissed me on the lips, pulling me into his chest. I knew it was a bad time to feel fuzzy, but I couldn't help it. Come on, i'm only half-human. He pulled back, looking at me for a second, and then leaned down to kiss my neck. I could feel his fangs. I closed my eyes, and a tear ran down my cheek, I exhaled and felt a flair of pane. His fangs bit hard into me, and i cried out.
I shot up, just as my alarm-clock went off. Looking confused around, I could recognize my room. "Holy cow-" I exhaled. I tugged the duvet to the side and got out of bed. I was all sweatty and, well, gros, so i headed for the shower. As the cold water was pouring through my hair and down my body, I reflected back on my dream. I had flashbacks of Dimitri kissing me, touching me.. Biting me. I touched the spot where he had sunk his teeth in, a couple of months earlier, when i was trapped in a building full of Strigoi, and remembered the feeling.. I was a sucker.
The graduation was getting so close, and the dreams was getting heavier. And they were starting to feel more real for every dream, for every night that passed. They started always so blissful, but ended..violently. Story of my life. I stepped out of the shower, dried up and put on some jeans and a hoody, pulled my hair back in a ponytail and left for class.
"She Looks like Rose, walks like Rose, I would have said sounds like Rose too, but you haven't said anything today.. What's up?" Christian asked on the way to lunch, and almost sound worried. "I'm just tired, I guess" I responded with no sound of interest in my voice. "Jeeez, Rose, could you sound any more miserable? You almost broke my heart there".
"Could break a heck of lot more than just your heart, if you don't shut up" I said with a smirk. He laughed and shook his head. "There's the Rose we all know".
As soon Christian saw Lissa he started walking in the other direction. "Where are you going, firecracker?" I joked. "Um, i'm kind of.. I'm still not comfortable seeing Lissa yet. I gotta go, Rose. See you later" he said, and then left. "Dramatic much" I thought to myself. It was months since the episode with Lissa kissing Aaron while under the influence of compulsion. "Let it go, Christian" I though to myself again.
"Where did Christian go?" Lissa asked, as soon as i was in hearing range. "Um, he got this thing.." I lied. " What thing?"
"Jeez, do I look like Sherlock Holmes? How should I know. Probably off setting someone on fire" I joked. Lissas lips twitched and then she cracked a smile and turned her serious face on again. "He's not over the whole Aaron thing, is he?" she asked with a sad voice. I could feel through the bond, that it actually hurt her more than she showed. I felt sad for her, and kind of imagened punching Christian in the face. Yup, it would bring me great pleasure and him great pain. "He'll get over it soon, really" I said, trying to be convincing. She looked at me and smiled. " Yup, gonna happen anyday now." I couldn't understand how Christian could do that to her, she was so loving and giving, how could he hurt her this way. And although she was hurting, she made jokes just to cover it up. I admired her for her strength.
I could feel from the bond, how exited Lissa actually was to see me. I returned the feeling. I've missed her. We hadn't been able to spend much time together, with all the things that's been going on. Making our own breaking-Victor-Dashkov-out-of-prison-jail-free-card was the biggest worry for the time being, even though i soon enough would get a promise mark and a certificate that said I was done being headmistress Kirovas slave.
After classes we hung out in Lissas room and watched movies, even though I wasn't in the movie-watching mood. Neither was she.
"Liss.." I started speaking, but cut my self off. "What?"
"Um.. Nothing". I could feel curiosity rushing though her, through the bond. "What is it, Rose?"
"Um, I just.. I'd been having these dreams.. About Dimitri." The mention of his name took her by surprice, it was long time ago since a last mentioned his name. It hurt to much to let his name slip through my lips. "What kind of dreams?" she continued.
"Well.. Him turning me. Into a Strigoi. And for every night that we're getting closer to graduation, they seem more and more real. They feel real.. I've been thinking about this for a while now, and um, I don't think I can wait till graduation.." I realized what I've said, after it slipped through my teeth. Damn it. This would go down bad.
"You want to go? When? You know I'll follow you, I won't make the same mistake again, letting you leave all by yourself" she said firmly.
"Liss, I can't drag you out of school two weeks before graduation" She looked at me puzzled like i was talking jibberish, then smiled. "Who's dragging? Im going by choice, Rose. Because I want to. Screw School, I'm a princess, I can graduate whenever I want." I smiled. I could feel from the bond that she really ment every single word she said, and her feelings rushed over me. She was actually exited. But could I be that selfish and take her outside the protecting wards of the school and only have me to defend her? I couldn't stand the thought of her being hurt because of my own vendettas. If the Strigoi takes me down, she'll be defendless. I can't take that risk. I've lost half of me because of Dimitri, I can't stand losing another half because of Lissa. "Liss, I love you.. You know that. I can't risk you. You're too important. And I know how much you want to go with me, trust me, I do. But I don't think it's an option at this moment." She looked hurt. Good god. "You don't want me with you? Saving Dimitri?" The mention of his name burned in my ears, and my heart ached. I looked down, and I could feel Lissas regret-"I'm sorry" she said. "It's okay. I gotta go." I said, closing the door behind me. It was past curfew, and i headed back to my room. I crashed on my bed, and felt slumber. The sleep was sneaking in on me. So was the dreams. And Dimitri.
I was up in the cabin, where me and Dimitri had sex for the very first time.. I sat on the bed, and could hear footsteps outside. I jumped to my feet and grabbed my stake. The handle turned, and a tall and handsome man entered. Dimitri... I stood there, ridgid, not budging. I was prepared, I knew what to do. I was ready for him.
"Roza.." he said. I jerked back. "Don't call me that! You don't have the right to call me that, without a heartbeat" i cried out. He took another step towards me and I followed my insticts and jumped him. I punched him in the face, took a step back and flykicked him in the gut. He flew back, and I landed on top of him placing my stake to his heart.
"But I have a heartbeat" he said, looking at me with those gorgeous eyes. There was no Strigoi over him, he's eyes was beautiful and full of life as usual. He saw me gazing, and didn't miss his shot at taking me down by surprice. Ripping my stake out of my hand, he flipped our positions, so he was on top of me now. "Let go of me!" I yelled. "This isn't legal, comrade!" I continued. He chuckled. "Oh, and staking a man is?" he chuckled again and the sound of it made my heart race. "Depends on which state your in" I said smiling. "I got my right to protect my property"
He laughed. "What property are you talking about?" The sound of his laugh made me want to kiss him so badly, he smelled so good. "Im talking about, well, my body for an instance. MY body is MY property." I said. "And guess what, Comrade, you're on top of my property! Move" I ordered smiling. I really didn't want him to move. And I think my smile gave me kind of away. "I don't want to move" he said smiling, pulling my waist against his body while the other hand slid down my thigh, pulling it up, so it almost went around his waist. I gasped for air and suddenly felt so lightheaded. A normal reaction around him. His head hovered only inches away from mine and I couldn't help myself. I put my arms around his neck and let him carry me off to the bed. He laid me down and brushed his lips against mine.. I pulled myself away from him to look him in the eyes, to remember this moment. "Whoa, déja-vu!" I smiled. He chuckled and shook his head. "Last time we we're in here, like this, it ended good.." he said smiling. It was like a stab in the heart, my smile suddenly came to a hold."No, it didn't." I said. His smile faded too, and he looked me deeply in the eyes, and I felt like the whole world stopped, right in this second. He kissed me again. This time more intensely. I pulled his shirt over his head, and unbuttoned my. The feel of his warm skin, burned inside me. He looked so good barechested. I could feel his heart beating, and it made me smile..
Someone knocked on the door and made me shoot up in bed. I was all sweatty and my heart raced. I pulled on my jeans, and went to open the door. I opened the door and I knew why they were here.
"What are you guys doing here? You're going to get so much trouble for this." I exclaimed. "I told you, I don't care. But I care about getting caught, so hurry, pack your bag, we got to get going" Lissa said. "And you know, i'm all for adventures, little Dhampir" Adrian joked. "No. I told you, i'm not dragging you in to this, Liss." I frowned, ignoring Adrian completely.
"Look, don't make me use compulsion on you, Rose!" Lissa said angrily. I knew I couldn't make her change her mind, so there was only one thing for me to do. "Come in, before anybody notices you. Give me 10 minutes". Adrian and Lissa stepped inside and I started packing my bag. We were going to try to save the love of my life, and it was now or never. I threw a hoody, two tank tops, a t-shirt, a pair of jeans and two stakes into the bag. Threw on a hoody and closed the door behind me. So far so good.
"You're going to let us go, and you're not going to call for help when we're gone. You're going to forget that you've talked to us tonight" Lissa was already using compulsion on one of the guardians that guarded our dorm." We ran as fast as we could, through the big lawn that led to the front gates.
"It's past your curfew, you're not allowed to be out here!" one of the guardians said. Lissa looked him deep in the eyes and concentrated. "Let us through. When we're on the other side of the gate, you're going to close it and forget about all of this". He stared blankly at us and then noded. The gate opened and we ran. "Damn, i'm good" Lissa laughed and just like that, we made our goodbyes to St. Vladimir Academy. "I coming, Dimitri" I thought. "im coming!"
I didn't know how to feel about this. I was exited. I was worried for my friends. I was.. missing Dimitri so much. These last couple of months I've felt that my life had lost meaning. Without him I didn't see reason in breathing anymore. Didn't see the reason in living, laughing and crying. And Lissa's darkness caused by Spirit, wasn't helping at all. I was in a dark place. I was lost and confused, sad and torned.. I was without him. I felt hollow. Like he had taken a part of me with him. Never in my entire life had I ever felt like this. This was beyond darkness. The only thing I had of him, was the dreams. I was cold inside, dead. Just like him. Whenever I dreamt of him, I felt alive. Everything I dreamed, was about him. And I wasn't ashamed to admit it. The sound of his heartbeat was the most significant sound in the world. And I would rather die, than live another day without it. I loved Dimitri not only with my heart. I loved him with my entire body. Every part of me ached for him.
If I couldn't save him, then I would be forbidden to remember him. I couldn't live like this. But I would be terrified to forget. It would be a hard line to walk. His hold on me was permanent and unbreakable. This was the way it was going to go down. If I couldn't save him, then everything would be lost. I would be lost, and there would be no more purpose for me in this life. I would follow him till the end. Till the bitter end.
Adrian got us everything we needed. He got us everything that was in his power to get. Cars, flight tickets. And we were already boarding our flight to Pensylvania, we we're going to the Royal Court to break Victor Dashkov free.
"What do you not get about the none smoking areas, dude? You're not allowed to smoke HERE." I said to Adrian. Something told me that this guy would never learn to obey the rules. "I paid a whole lot of money, to fly all the way to Pensylvania. The very least you could do is to let me smoke in peace, Hitler." Adrian joked. "Why am I Hitler, when you're the one gassing me with toxic smoke right now?" I replied. "Whatever, you're got to be some kind of evil, when you're ruining relax-time for me." Something in that sentence made me twitch. "Don't call me that.." I said coldly. "Call you what?" Adrian looked confused. " Never mind..." After that we didn't speak a heck of a lot. Lissa was in a coma, sleeping like there was no tomorrow. And Adrian just sat there, staring into nothing. I suddenly felt the urge to go to sleep, even though I wasn't that sleepy. I felt the urge to be with him..
"Where did you go?" His voice was soothing. We were sitting down in the middle of a meadow, and it was beautiful. The stars were shining so bright, and the moonlight was reflecting in his eyes. I was wearing a short silky black dress, with straps pierced with diamonds and a low cut. It was perfect. Sensual and seductive. Showed my curves beautifully. And I wore my hair lose, just the way he liked it. The wind blew calmly, and nothing else existed in the world, but the two of us.. It was warm, and the wind functioned like an aircondiotion. Keeping our skin cool. Everything was perfect. "I didn't go anywhere.. I've always been here with you." I replied. It was true. Everytime I wasn't with him psysically, i was mentally. My thought were with him, and so was my heart.
"No, you left. But it doesn't matter now, as long as you're here with me.. You know I can't exist if you're not here with me, Rose. By the way, you look beautiful" he said smiling. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. He wore his hair lose, and I couldn't resist the temptation, I moved closer to him, tangling my hand in it, it felt like silk.. "You're handsome yourself.." I said looking him deeply in the eyes. My heart was beating so fast, that I was sure of a heartattack. He wore jeans and a unbuttoned shirt. He was beautiful, and seductive aswell. I put my other hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. His skin was so hot, that it felt like I'd burned my fingertips. It was perfect. I closed my eyes and enjoyed it. He sneaked his hands around my waist, moving me closer to him. I opened my eyes, looking at him. He was my world. He was the thing I lived for now. I gazed. But so did he. He loved me. I could feel it, I could see it in his eyes. He brought his lips to mine, and it turned into a passionate kiss. He pulled me closer, bringing me sitting on top of him, weilding my legs around his waist. He tangled his hand in my hair, while kissing me, and then tilted me to the ground, so he was on top of me.. The wind blew, and made his aftershave spread all over the meadow. I layed my hands around his waist, under his shirt, pushing him down at me, digging my nails in his skin, this was animal instinct taking over. And I was pretty sure it was going to leave a mark. He couldn't be close enough, I yearned for him. He let his hand slid up my thigh, gathering fabric with one hand. I couldn't get enough. He pulled back to catch his breath. "I love you." he whispered.. "And no matter what happens, i'll always be here, Roza. Know that. No matter how it'll turn out to be, don't be afraid to live on. Im inside of you. And i'll never leave you." Something about that was off. "What do you mean, no matter how it'll turn out to be? What will turn out to be what?" I think I sounded totally worried, because he smiled at me and shook his head. "When the time is right, you'll understand." He said. "Dimitri wha?.." I could here someone calling my name and already could feel how I was dragged out of this place, away from him, by someone. "You got to go, Roza. Don't worry, I'll still be here when you get back" he said smiling. "I don't want to go.. I want to stay here with you, Dimitri, why can't I stay?" I was tearing up. "Rose, wake up. We're here." The voice sounded familiar. Someone was pulling me back to reality against my own will.. I looked up at Dimitri, and gave him a last kiss. "I love you".
I woke up by Adrian pulling me. "Jeez, I thought you were dead." I strained a smile. "We're here".
It was freaking cold outside, and my hoody didn't keep me warm for long. As soon as we stepped outside the airport, I was shaking. Adrian took of his big, comfortable and probably pretty expensive jacket off and gave it to me, as we were walking towards a black Volvo. How could he pull this off? Unbelieveble. This was apperantly our ride. "It looks like you need this more than I do" He said. I could tell he was freasing too, but he didn't need to tell me twice to take on his generous offer. "Thanks" I murmured. "No problem."
It was going to be a really tricky thing, to get Victor out of jail. The place was strongly guarded, and it was a pickle to even go visit him, that time when he threatened to expose Dimitri and I. Dimitri had to pull some thick strings. "What are we going to do exactly?" Lissa asked. "We're going to the top, starting with our Queen bee." I said confidently. "So what, I'm going to use compulsion on her to get her to free Victor, and then what? I can't use compulsion on all the guards, there's to many." She was getting curious, she loved planning. Even though this was criminal planning. Potatoe, potata. " I don't need you to use compulsion on all the guards. Just Tatiana. You can order her, to order them to leave the prison. And while they're gone, we get Victor and run for the hills" I said. "It sure doesn't sound like planning of a master mind" Adrian smiled. "Look, if anyone's got a better idea, pleace, do NOT hold back, share it with the rest of the class. But if not, then it's all we got, and we're going with it-" I was almost yelling. Nobody said anything and I could feel the tension and hear Lissa in my head. "Rose, we got to think this more through. We can't risk getting caught. You know that, it's not the time for being reckless." Auch. I knew she was right, but reckless was all I had. I was risking it all.
As we started driving towards the royal court, we began to discuss our options. There wasn't a lot of them. Shit.
