This story has nothing to do with my other one. I know a lot of you are waiting for an update on that story, but, this is something that I had on my mind today. Must be the weather. This is what would happen if Alex wasn't as big of a badass as she is in the show and actually allowed herself to have a moment of weakness. It will probably be a one off.
Something had changed between them. Both Alex and Maggie were not on the same page lately. Their interactions had become shorter, their physical contact less and less. Maggie, was working more, sometimes up to 80 hours a week. Alex had the occasional run in that required the DEO to help, but for the most part, Kara was handling all the attacks in National City and the neighboring cities, monster and human alike. She literally dove into her work, to keep her from feeling the pain associated with having to send Mon-El away.
Normally, Alex would go to Kara when she needed advice, or to feel a little less alone while Maggie was at work, but, Kara was not herself. Not for the past 6 months. Alex had chosen to turn to the occasional drink, which turned to one a day, then slowly progressed into a few too many a day. On days that Maggie did get home early, Alex was passed out on the couch, snoring her drunkenness away. Maggie hated to see Alex this way, but, she knew that unless she took a different job, they were stuck. She hated knowing that she was why Alex chose to drink. Alex was alone and hurting, but, Maggie was so worn out at the end of the day, that she had preferred to be alone and often pushed Alex away when she was watching tv or lounging on the couch. She didn't want to deal with drunk Alex, who was mean and annoying, what she didn't realize that each time she had physically pushed Alex away, a small piece of Alex ventured back into the loneliness of keeping the important parts of yourself secret.
Parts of her began to doubt her decision to jump into the first relationship that presented itself. She began to doubt in their love, in Maggie's desire to be married, and in her self-worth. On the outside, Alex was the strongest in their group, at the DEO, and in her family. She had to be the one to keep it together when Jeremiah had gone missing, she had to be strong for both her mom and Kara. She hated to let her little sister see her cry. Now, she wished she had the comfort of Kara's strong embrace to fall apart in instead of finding the emptiness that the bottom of a bottle provides. Maggie had suggested that maybe they open their relationship up to other people to satisfy both of their needs. Alex was immediately against it. Maggie tried to tell her that someone would be there to cuddle with Alex and to have sex with Maggie. Alex's self-esteem took a nose dive after that suggestion. She tried to explain to Maggie that all she wanted was for her to fulfill her needs, not someone else. That her fiancée is the person whose arms she wanted to fall asleep in and whose face she wanted to wake up next to. Maggie told her that she wanted to have sex more. All Alex could do was argue that of course she wouldn't want to have sex if she wasn't feeling loved or wanted. It was a never-ending argument that caused Maggie to stop talking about it and was the final thing that caused Alex to completely shut herself off from Maggie.
They had decided to stop wedding planning until they could figure out their situation. Alex wasn't sure why they didn't just call off the wedding all together. Her dad would never be here to walk her down the aisle like she had dreamed. Maybe the best thing for them was time. Time away from each other, maybe then Maggie would remember how she felt about Alex. Alex wasn't sure how much more disappointment she could handle. Maggie used to make her feel like the most important person in the world. Now, she felt as though she wasn't worth the time of day. She yearned for Maggie in the most innocent of ways, she knew that she had nothing left to offer her. Not as a drunk. She knew that things needed to change. So, with a final glance at the picture of them next to her side of the bed, Alex zipped her duffle bag and ventured off. To find a path of clarity, which she hoped would lead her back to Maggie.
