We Have Gone Mad!
A/N: I realize that the characters here are OOC. That's the point. Don't mention it unless you want my OC Ro to freeze you. This is from my POV; please remember, I like to torture the characters. And I used my real name for my own purposes. Please tell me what you think of it, as it is unbetaed.
"Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Sadie Kane." I said softly. "That girl was THE BIGGEST PEST IN THE UNIVERSE!" I shouted.
"What the bloody Horus am I doing here?" Sadie demanded.
"Shut your freaking mouth, woman. Answer the questions, don't ask." With that, I turned on the light.
Sadie must have been shocked, seeing me look like an evil villain. Well, a twisted version of an evil villain. I was sitting on my bed, stroking my cat. My room was a soft lavender, and I had shut the blinds to make it slightly creepier. The creepy effect failed; instead, it looked like I wanted to take a nap in the middle of the afternoon.
"Tell me who you are." Sadie shouted.
"Shut up and I'll tell you."
Sadie instantly shut up.
"I am Emily, self trained magician, wizard, and demigod. First question: is Annie afraid of emo waffles?"
Sadie gave me a questioning look. "Anubis," I explained.
"Very. Bast sent them after him one timeā¦" she shivered. "It wasn't pretty."
I nodded and wrote down her answer on a notebook. "Question 2: do you think I'm weird?"
She stared at me for a few minutes. "What kind of a question is that?" She burst out.
"It's the kind of question I asked." I said helpfully. "Now answer before I slap you!"
She muttered, "Someone has anger issues."
I gave her a sharp look. "I heard that," I warned.
She looked at the picture behind me. "Yes you are. I mean, a normal person doesn't just capture and interrogate another person!"
I wrote her answer down next to question 2. "Next question."
She interrupted me. "How many questions are there?"
I glared at her. "Watch your tongue, Sadie Kane, because it might just disappear. There are seven questions."
She nodded, satisfied.
"Okay. Question three: what would you say if I made you meet my little brother?"
Sadie looked at me, horrified. Mojo hissed at the mention of my brother. "Behave," I said to Mojo sternly.
"I would say, you have a sibling? That's absolutely horrifying. Spare me the terror of meeting him."
I grinned. "Too late." I opened the door for my brother to enter. He walked in the room.
Sadie backed away from him, an expression of pure terror on her face.
I smiled again. "Sadie, meet Jimmy. Jimmy, meet Sadie Kane."
Jimmy looked at me oddly. "I thought she was a character from a book," he mused out loud.
Sadie frowned at him.
"Jimmy, she's real, as you can see. I mean, how could I have kidnapped her if she wasn't real?"
Jimmy looked at me in horror. "That's against the law!"
Sadie smiled a triumphant smile. "Ha. Return me home or be pressed charges!"
I looked at Jimmy. "Jimmy, go ahead and sing her your parody of Baby."
I took pleasure in causing Sadie pain at this moment in time.
Jimmy started to sing. "I'm Justin Beiber, Beiber, Beiber, can you cure me with cosmetic procedure, cedure, cedure? Help me, I'm having a seizure, seizure, seizure-"
I cut Jimmy off by shoving him out of my room. I glorified in Sadie's traumatized look. "Never, never again," she whispered.
"Okay, onto question four."
Sadie looked at my notebook. "You didn't write down my answer," she pointed out.
I quickly wrote her answer down. "Question four. If Amos married Bast, what would you do?"
Sadie answered with a question. "Why are these so random?"
I slapped her. "Because I want them to be. And don't you dare make fun of that TV show."
She glared at me, rubbed her cheek, and said, "I'd be extremely creeped out and slap them both. And then I'd go blow up some demons."
I wrote Sadie's answer in cursive this time. "Curse cursive," I muttered under my breath.
Suddenly, I heard my mom's voice. "Emily, what's going on?"
I cursed. "Crap." Then I shouted, "Nothing, mom! Just talking to myself!"
"Okay," she called back.
Sadie looked at me, confused. "Your mother doesn't think that's weird?"
I shook my head no. "Question five. What would you think if Carter started going out with Annabeth?"
Sadie thought for a moment. "Can I have some cereal?"
"After you answer my question." I said sharply.
She sighed. Mojo hissed at her. "Mojo, stop it!" I scolded. Mojo looked at me as if to say, Can I slice her? Pretty please?
"Mojo, no slicing," I said firmly.
Sadie looked from Mojo to me and back. Finally she shook her head and said, "I would say, who the Horus is Annabeth, and Carter is perfectly fine with Zia."
I nodded and wrote down her answer.
"Now can I have my cereal?" Sadie pleaded.
"Fine." I sighed and walked to my kitchen, fixing a bowl of Raisin Bran.
I carried it back into my room and handed it to Sadie. "I wanted Cheerios," She complained.
I stuck my tongue out at her. "Too bad. You didn't specify. Question six: do you have a stuffed animal bunny?"
Sadie looked guilty before answering, "Yes. Mr. Fluffles."
I shrugged and wrote down her answer. "Last question: what did you think of this quiz?"
She stared at me. "THAT'S THE LAST QUESTION? I thought it was going to be something deeply embarrassing!"
I slapped her. "Don't make me freeze you. Now answer the question!"
She drew her staff for the first time. I immediately froze all but her face. "Answer it," I hissed.
"Fine!" Sadie yelled. "This was the most annoying hour of my life!"
I giggled. "That wasn't the question."
"You are a flippin' freak!" She yelled.
"That's still not the answer to the question," I pointed out helpfully.
"I HATE IT!"
"Okay. Come with me." I unfroze her and led her out of my room, outside, to a tree in my front yard.
"Why are we here?" She demanded. "I should ha-di you!"
"That may be true. Shut up." I held my hands out, on the tree trunk. I whispered the spell to open a portal and specified the coordinates for the Brooklyn House. "Go home."
Sadie jumped through the portal gratefully.
I went back inside, on the computer. "And this is where I show fanfictioners that the Kane Chronicles are real."
