The Day Bulma Bought a Trampoline

Being the first part of The Day Bulma Bought a Trampoline

Vegeta was sitting at the kitchen table, plotting how to embarrass Trunks in front of his new girlfriend, Tori Derfus. But from what he had heard about her, she was a hard one to scare. Apparently she came from a rather strange family, and was used to odd people. Just then, Vegeta heard a knock on the door. He walked over to the door and opened it.

"Hi Vegeta! Did you know that it's Wednesday?"

"It's Tuesday, you idiot!"

"But Chichi said that-"

SLAM!

Vegeta hurried into the living room to find Bulma. "Woman," he said loudly, "today is Wednesday, correct?"

"Yes," Bulma replied slowly, eyeing him suspiciously. "Why?"

That ought to mess Kakarot up, Vegeta thought gleefully.

Just then, the doorbell rang again. Vegeta growled in the direction of the door, but Bulma went to answer it.

"No, don't!" Vegeta cried.

"Why not?" Bulma asked. "It's just the doorbell." With that, she opened the door, revealing Goku.

"Hi!" Goku cried. "Vegeta answered the door earlier, but he must not have recognized me because he slammed the door in my face after telling me that it's Tuesday."

After turning and shooting Vegeta an icy look, Bulma said calmly, "Come on in, Goku. And don't worry – It's Wednesday. "Vegeta's just stupid."

Vegeta made a hissing noise in the back of his throat. Goku stared at him with a concerned expression on his face and said, "You know, you might want to see a doctor about that," before continuing into the kitchen.

With a strangled cry of frustration, Vegeta started tugging at his hair. But soon he forced himself to stop. Premature baldness wasn't going to help him in this situation. Deciding that pulling out a clump of Goku's hair would brighten his day considerably, he stalked after his rival, slinking along in the shadows. A floorboard creaked and Goku looked around. Vegeta quickly grabbed a potted plant off of the windowsill and held it in front of his face. Goku, not noticing anything suspicious, opened the fridge and took out Vegeta's sandwich!

Vegeta leaped from his hiding place, stepping up right behind Goku, and prepared to rip out his hair, quickly grabbing a clump of the pokey black stuff. He was surprised at how fuzzy it was, and patted it before pulling it. Quickly, he made a mental not to ask Goku what kind of conditioner he used. Before he could start yanking, a shrill cry split the air: "Vegeta! Goku! I need your help!"

Goku turned away from the fridge and noticed that Vegeta had his hands entwined in his hair. "Um… could you please let go?"

"No," Vegeta snapped. He tugged furiously at Goku's hair.

"No!" screamed Goku. "Bulma! Vegeta's being mean!"

Bulma called back, "Just slap him on the hand and tell him no."

For the next five minutes, Goku tired – but failed – to get a hold of Vegeta's hands. Vegeta, meanwhile, was frustrated to find that he couldn't pull out Goku's hair. Perhaps he used glue as shampoo. He put both feet on Goku's shoulder and tugged as hard as he could, but the hair did not come out.

"Ow! BULMA! IT'S NOT WORKING!"

"Just hit him with something, then."

With determination glinting in Goku's dark eyes, he snapped his head back, smashing Vegeta into a cupboard. Vegeta cried out in agony, but held fast to Goku's head, screaming, "I'll never let g, Goku! I'll never let go!"

But after Goku bashed him into the cupboard twice more, he relinquished his hold on Goku's hair, crumpling to the floor from whence he glared up at Goku. "A plague upon your house."

"No, don't worry Vegeta. We brush our teeth to get rid of that."

"Plague, Kakarot, not plaque."

"Plague? Wait, isn't that an amusement park?"

"Plague, Kakarot – and it's Six Flags, not Six Plagues."

"Oh. What's a plague, then?"

"It's something very bad."

"Oh!" cried Goku. "Well, I don't want one of those! But thanks for the offer."

"Too bad. You're getting one."

"No!" Goku screamed. He plugged his ears and ran from the kitchen and out the back door. Vegeta, his energy renewed, jumped to his feet and gave chase to the screaming Goku. He darted out the back door and collided with something very solid. He fell over backward and looked up, confused as to what he had run into. It was Goku. The dumb Saiyan just stood there, staring straight ahead. Vegeta got up and was about to take another whack at Goku's hair when he saw what Goku was staring at.

There was a large box in the middle of the yard, and Bulma was standing in front of it, talking to a man with a clipboard. Goku shifted his weight and his elbow bashed into Vegeta's head.

"Watch it, Kakarot! You're going to give me a goose egg!"

"Sorry," muttered Goku. "You're just so darn short."

Vegeta stared at Goku. "I hope for your sake that today is opposite day."

Goku looked alarmed. "But I thought it was Wednesday!"

The two Saiyans tentatively approached the box, sneaking around behind Bulma and the man so that they would not be noticed. After the man left, Bulma thought she heard some whispering and turned to see Vegeta and Goku muttering to each other, shooting wary looks at the box.

"What is that thing?" Vegeta asked quietly, his eyes wide.

Bulma decided to have a little fun with them. "It's a Saiyan eating monster."

"NO!" screamed Goku. He covered his eyes and tried to run away, but crashed into the corner of the house and fell over. "No, no, no," he whispered, rocking back and forth. "If I can't see it, it can't see me."

Vegeta, however, had straightened to his full height (which wasn't very impressive) and was glaring at the box with a strange light in his eyes. "Well, aren't you going to let it out?" he demanded, licking his lips in anticipation of a fight.

"No."

"Then I'm just going to have to blow it up!" Vegeta raised a hand and pointed his index finger at the box.

"No!" cried Bulma. "I was just joking! It's a trampoline for Bra!"

Vegeta lowered his hand. "Why are you getting her a trampoline? Is it her birthday?"

"No."

"Is it her half-birthday?"

"No."

"Is it Christmas?"

"No."

"Easter?"

"No."

"Valentines Day?"

"No."

"St. Patrick's Day?"

"No."

"Martin Luther King Jr. Day?"

"No."

"Vegeta Day?"

Bulma looked at him. "Do you mean your birthday? Do you even know when your birthday is?"

Vegeta just scowled at her. "It's not my birthday, but yes, I do know when my birthday is. Just because I didn't tell you when it is, doesn't mean I don't know. Vegeta Day is a national holiday. At least it was on Planet Vegeta."

"You don't say?" Bulma replied sarcastically. "I wonder why."

"Is it Kwanza?"

"No! Did you make that up?"

"No, it's an actual holiday. Is it the day the new Freddy movie comes out?"

"NO! Are they making another one of those?"

"How would I know? Why would I want to know? But if this day is not special in any way that I know of, then why did you buy Bra a trampoline?"

Bulma shrugged. "Because she wanted one."

"So you just give people things because they want it?"

"Yes. It's a nice thing to do."

Vegeta turned and looked at Goku, who was still rocking by the corner of the house with his eyes covered. "Well then, I want Kakarot to leave."

Bulma glared at him. "Only nice people get the things they want."

Vegeta laughed triumphantly and crossed his arms. "You think Bra is nice? Obviously you didn't know that she was the one who stole your ridiculously large makeup kit. It's in her drawer – you can go check if you want."

"What?"

Vegeta cackled at the look of rage on Bulma's face. "I bet you're wishing you hadn't bought that trambolune-trombone-thing, aren't you?"

"It's a trampoline, Vegeta."

"That's what I said, woman."

Bulma rolled her eyes. "Well, since you seem to know so much about it, why don't you and Goku put it together?"

Vegeta looked over a Goku again. He was muttering, "I can't see it, it can't see me, I can't see it, it can't see me."

Vegeta frowned. "Can't I just do it alone?"

"No," Bulma snapped. "It's about time the two of you did something productive together. This is a group project."

Vegeta growled menacingly at her. "Well, why don't you help, too, since this is a group project?"

"I have to go pick up Trunks, Bra, and Pan from school."

"Pan?" Vegeta cried. "Why is she coming?"

Goku sat up and yelled, "No! Don't bring her here! She's young and innocent! She doesn't deserve to be eaten by the monster!"

After staring at Goku for several seconds, the two went back to their discussion.

"She's coming over," Bulma continued, "because we arranged this sleepover with her last week!"

"SLEEPOVER?"

"Yes!" Bulma cried. "I told you this last week, Vegeta! You need to pay more attention.

"Yeah? Well you need to… need to stop inviting people over, that's what!"

"Whatever. Have this trampoline set up by the time I get back, or else." With that, Bulma turned and left.

"Oh, now I'm scared!" Vegeta called after her. When she disappeared from view, Vegeta whipped around and screamed, "Kakarot! Get up now and help me set up the trampoloon!"

"But what about the monster?" yelped Goku, peering out from between his fingers.

Vegeta rolled his eyes. "Don't worry about it. It's eating me."

"No!" cried Goku. He jumped up from his fetal position and charge across the yard, tackling Vegeta into the box and knocking it over.

"You imbecile!" Vegeta bellowed, pushing Goku roughly away. "There is no monster!"

"Really?" Goku looked around nervously, then smiled. "There's no monster!" Goku jumped up and down and clapped his hands happily.

"You can't possibly be a Saiyan," Vegeta muttered.

-

To Be Continued...