Arriving back late at his house, Chris sighed as he realized the reality of how late it really was. He had been spending the day with Kaito and Haruto, teaching Haruto a few dueling moves to help him finally defeat his brother. It was a generally relaxed Saturday afternoon if nothing else, but the time escaped them far too quickly. Yet seeing the two so carelessly playing together…
It struck a harsh cord with Chris. He couldn't help feeling a touch jealous over the whole ordeal, but overall felt a close kind of warmness seeing the two so happy together at last.
His heart clenched uncomfortably seeing them smiling so, and he longed to be back near his own brothers. And now that was more than possible, so what was stopping him? Well…though the three were now adjusting back to their regular social lives, there was still an edge of alarm around each other.
Particularly with Thomas and Chris. Michael was fairly easy-going, so Thomas found himself teasing and prodding the other on as they were when they were younger quite easily. Chris felt he still had unfinished business with Thomas though, as if he had yet to…yet to speak with on solid terms.
Brushing back his hair, Chris walked towards the living room where he spotted Thomas organizing his deck. The younger was quite absorbed in the act, and Chris couldn't help but pause for a moment and smile. He looked so young…he was fairly young, but young in the sense that he looked happy. Thomas felt Chris's absent gaze upon him, and turned to face his older brother.
Oh shit.
Was he in trouble? Why was Chris just staring at him?
"Umm, sup?" Thomas managed, standing up for the first time in, what had it been, an hour? He casually stretched slightly and furrowed his brows at the troubled look on Chris's face.
"…Thomas. I…never…I know we're family. I know…it's…I just need to say it."
"What's…what's up Chris?" Thomas replied, trying to put on a casual grin, but the note of urgency in his brothers voice made him take a step back
Was something wrong with dad—was Michael okay—
Dammit why was he so
He was always so..prim and perfect..but what the hell was he getting at?
"…thank…thank you."
"…w-what?"
"Just. Back then. Thank you for…taking care of Michael. I…wasn't there…as I should have been. I. Never gave you the credit you…you deserve." Leaning in closer, Chris felt his arms wrapping around Thomas before he knew what he was doing. Clinging to him and pulling him in closer, he laughed slightly to himself…
When…when was the last time he had hugged his little brother?
Thomas couldn't stand the touch of Chris so close to him. Chris was missing the entire point of…Missing the fact that…he wasn't there for Michael. He distanced himself from his family. He wanted…to be better than everyone. To prove his worth.
He kinda…left Michael alone at one point. They grew apart—
"I…I wasn't…"
"…Thomas…"
Trying to maintain his cool, Thomas attempted to push away from his elder brother. Chris's hair was the only thing that gave though, tickling him slightly on the nose. It was tight…it was…warm…he didn't deserve—
Dammit all, why did his face have to start leaking now? The stream of tears were relentless, and left his face drenched in the salty liquid. Worst of all, some of the stray strands of Chris's hair stuck to his face now, why didn't he just fucking cut it? Throat too tight to curse, he coughed abruptly trying to clear his throat.
"D-don't be a fucking idiot! You know…you know I've always been the screw up. I wasn't there for Michael. I wasn't there for anyone. I don't…I don't blame dad for…for leaving me…"
"T-Thomas—that's—"
"Just shut the hell up Chris. Don't pull this shit on me. I'm not a fucking…I'm not…" shoving Chris away, Thomas rubbed his eyes too harshly, causing them to burn
"Thomas. I'm the one who left you—"
"You were looking for dad. You were trying—I just gave up."
"Yeah! I'm a fucking quitter! I just, I left Michael. He was…he"
"…you…never left me." Michael's voice broke through from behind the other two
"—!"
"Stop…putting all the blame on yourselves…both of you. We're a family. We went through a rough time."
Putting his hand on Thomas's shoulder, Michael held his brothers gaze, just waiting for a response.
"You, at the orphanage. I left. I left to become…a fucking dueling…fake."
"Stop being such a drama queen. We…none of us though dad was coming back. Chris was lying to himself, I…I just wanted to be alone. I pushed you away."
Michael was lying through his teeth at this point
No, he couldn't stand it. Couldn't stand the way Thomas had changed
But he couldn't live with this…he didn't want Thomas to feel guilty for it.
"…I…back then. There wasn't much hope for it. We all had to take a different path to be where we are now. Stop being such a little girl, stop crying. If I wanted to kick your ass for back then, I would, okay?"
Grinning playfully, Michael felt his heart warm at the sight of the slight smile that spread across Thomas's face
Yeah
He was lying
Yeah
He was spewing out hopeful friendship speeches…all this, just to make his brother feel better. It was all true, but—
It didn't matter anymore
They were together
Nodding in Chris's direction, Michael dragged the others together, embracing them close
It…was strange. Chris…he was shaking…
Shaking…the two elders were trembling…
Michael couldn't help but smile
He held onto his brothers closely, rubbing their backs gently. They both…we're still kids too
Crying like little kids.
Tron—no their dad…Michael could see him from behind Thomas's shoulder
So he had heard it all too?
That was fine
Beckoning their father, Michael wanted him to know there was no bitterness left in his heart
It was just too hard. Too hard to stay mad at your family
Narrowing his gaze, Byron pulled the three boys apart, and looked Thomas directly in the eyes
"Thomas. I don't want you to ever. Ever say—"
Turning his head away from his father's gaze, Thomas shrugged his shoulders casually, feeling like a weak bastard for allowing himself to cry in front of everyone
"…dad…how…how long have you been…" Chris felt his heart seize in his chest. This…his father…
Hadn't looked so angry
In…Chris couldn't remember, but it made him tremble. Made him feel like a small child again
His father…had never looked at any of them like that before
It was…terrifying. He…
What the hell was wrong with him
He just wanted Michael and Thomas close to him
Just wanted to hold them close away from that…that face.
It wasn't that…half of his father's face was virtually missing
It was…just the weight of that gaze
Gripping the sleeves of his jacket tightly, Chris was resisting the urge to step between Thomas and his father
His father…wasn't…he wasn't that kind of man
He loved them all—
"…I've been here…to hear what…"
"Whatever, it doesn't matter." Thomas dismissed, composing himself fully. As long as…as long as he didn't face any of them, he was fine
It didn't mean anything. None of this. Sure…they were back together, sure they were family…
But he still felt so inadequate. As if…he'd yet to prove himself. He couldn't even win in a duel against fucking Shark.
"Thomas Arclight. Don't move." Byron's voice came out in a cold, harsh demand. Not like he was talking to his son—but as if he was talking to himself
…he was the failure as a father. He looked to his sons smiling faces throughout the day, wondering how in the hell he could have been blessed to have such…such grace in his life
It wasn't right. All that happened in the Barian world…it didn't mean anything compared to what he had done to his sons
They tried to be strong for him. So strong. It…wasn't right. None of them hated him…he feared for the longest time after the defeat of Faker, that they would hate him
But this was so much worse
Thomas…was blaming himself. They were all trying to take the burdens upon themselves
Michael…he still remembered how he could easily swing his youngest son around in his arms…now
Now Michael was lying through his teeth, just to appease his siblings.
He couldn't imagine what these boys must be feeling, and he had no idea how to deal with it—
His wife…why did he keep coming back to her? She had been gone…gone for so long
He wanted her to help him, though he knew he deserved none such a gift
These were his sons, he needed to talk to them, he needed to let them know they were in no such wrong
How much he loved them. How proud he was of them…
"Leave it…leave it dad. I'm…just going to go out—"
His body moved before he could fully register what was going on
The impact of his hand against his sons face. He—he never did ask how his son got that scar under his eye
His hand dragging across it, dug into the crevasse of the scar
It felt..so…wrong
"You will not. Stay here and face me."
Michael and Chris froze. Their father had never—would never—
Byron couldn't handle it—he wanted to slap himself. He wanted to yell at himself
Thomas was—Thomas wasn't listening
But how could he listen, when his father wouldn't speak
Couldn't speak
"—-just—just I get it! I know I'm not—not smart like Chris or Michael. I know I act brashly—but. But you—"Thomas tried to start out strong, but his voice faltered
It fell, and he felt as if he deserved that slap. He deserved so much worse
What worth was he to this family?
They were so…happy…he just…he was selfish, he hurt so many people…people that looked up to him—
"Thomas." Again, Byron's brain was overcome with thoughts upon thoughts
He had no idea what to say
He—should he hug him, should he do something?
Anything
He was just
Frozen in place
His face—solid
Thomas…tried to make his face do that all the time…but at this time
When he was trying so desperately to stay composed
He broke down
Hiccupping sorely, hair falling over his face, Thomas gripped his face where his father's hand still burned
"I—I—I'm sor—"
"That's enough."
Chris shoved past his father and gripped Thomas's shoulders
"I'm done listening to your garbage, Thomas."
"Yeah! Don't—you, dad. You can't treat him—can't treat us like…like this.."Michael stuttered
Fearing that his father…was…wasn't the same anymore
That he might drive their father away—and that he might leave them again
Michael knew that was one of Thomas's greatest fears, Chris's as well…
All of them were terrified…but
But that didn't change the fact that they were brothers.
"You…you won't…" Michael attempted once again to stand up to his father, but faltered at the effort it was taking
"…I…" Byron was at a loss. How…how was he suppose to apologize? What did his words mean…he could never…
He just turned away. Turned away from the three souls he had damaged so and walked back to his study. He needed time to think, time to reflect!
He was a man of science, he was still unsure of his emotions. Never being too good in that field anyways, he clenched his fists hating himself for being so weak. How would he make this better…how…
