She cries at night.
Sometimes, she even screams.
Whether anyone can hear the shrieks is beyond her. Come morning, no one says a word, so she assumes that her cries never make it past her bedroom door.
On nights when her dreams take a turn for the worst, she'll sleep with a light on, just like a child would. Oddly enough, the soft yellow glow gives her an odd reassurance, and she can drift off into a dreamless slumber.
But not tonight.
For once, she's welcomed into Morpheus' arms as a tender and forgotten memory begins to resurface.
A strange, but oddly familiar man with dark wavy locks as long as her own and bright green eyes that sparkle with delight looks her way.
Natasha subconsciously returns his infectious grin and finds herself gravitating towards him. Her bare feet kick past warm mounds of golden sand as the man outstretches his hand to her. His fingers are cool to the touch, but the sensation is oddly comforting.
"Natalia." His grin widens and the crow's feet at the corners of his eyes add to the genuineness of his warm smile.
Her lips mouth an unspoken name as she wraps her arms around the man's narrow hips.
His slender fingers reach for a lock of her long hair as he stares out towards the ocean on the horizon. "Your hair is like the sunset," he muses as the bright reds and oranges of the sky give Natasha's hair a vibrant glow.
She chuckles and wrinkles her nose. "That's the corniest thing I've ever heard."
"Not corny," he playfully corrects. "Romantic."
"No," she teases. "Just corny."
He lowers his eyes and quietly chuckles. "Then let me correct my 'corniness,' as you call it." His hand slips away from hers to reach behind his back.
Natasha purses her lips as she watches the raven-haired man drop to one knee.
"Natalia Romanova." His longing eyes gaze into hers. "Will you do me the honour of allowing me to be your husband?" From behind his back, he reveals a tiny satin box.
She clasps a hand to her mouth as her young teenage heart skips a beat. The box opens and a diamond ring is revealed. He's gone too far. 'Corny' is an understatement for the proposal… but she still manages a choked 'yes' before dropping to her knees and throwing her arms around his neck. "Yes!" she repeats.
"My Natalia," he murmurs into her lush curls. "I love you."
The sunset dips into the sea and the sky turns black.
The scene shifts and Natasha finds herself wearing a white gown with long sleeves that make her skin itch. Her fingers tighten around the bouquet of multi-coloured flowers, but then she notices the man standing before her, dressed to the nines in an all white suit.
"You look so beautiful, Natalia." He reaches out to brush her bangs to the side. "So, so lovely…"
Her face becomes flushed and her heart pounds in her chest, but that's to be expected of a girl who's hardly twenty.
They're children, young and in love, and not caring for what the future will bring them. The present is all that matters as they whisper their 'I do's.'
Their lips meet in a long, unbroken kiss, and the next thing Natasha knows, she's being tossed backwards onto the bed, giggling as the scratchy dress is peeled off.
And then they are one. One heart, one soul, one body.
"I love you, Natalia," the man breaths with a loving smile.
"I love you more." Her lips mouth something else, his name, but her voice can't seem to say it aloud.
Her eyes close, but when they open, a pale yellow light filters in from a nearby window and her husband is there relaxing beside her with his hair cut short. She runs her fingers through his newly-cut locks as his hand rubs circles along her middle. "I think it is a girl," he hums.
Natasha glances down to her swollen belly and holds her breath.
"What do you think, Natalia?"
Her eyes return to her husband's comforting emerald orbs. "I…" The warmth of the sunlight begins to fade as cold shadows loom overheard.
"Natalia?" His brows furrow with worry. "Natalia, what is it?"
She can feel her chest constricting as the comfort of their bedroom grows dark.
"Natalia?!"
His hand reaches out to stroke her cheek, but his gentle move becomes violent as a palm smothers her face and slams the back of her head against a steel table.
"Remove it, then give her a round of shock therapy!" a woman's voice barks as she pulls her hand away from Natasha.
The redhead frantically looks up and sees a strange man wearing a surgical mask. She feels the walls begin to move as a set of wheels squeak below her. "N…No!" she gasps. "L…Lo-"
She awakes with a broken scream as her damp cami top clings to her skin. Natasha sits up in her bed, wide-eyed, as flashes of a man in white and a painfully bright room leaves her haunted. Even the reassurance that it was only a nightmare can't help her. She uncomfortably shifts her legs as she feels icy metal probing her. Just a nightmare…But before that, it was such a pleasant and childish dream… Natasha tries to recall the blissful memory, but it's all a blur. She can't even remember the man's face, her own husband. Something about him was so familiar…
'Remove it, then give her a round of shock therapy!'
Leave it to the Red Room to try destroying every trace of who she once was.
Natalia Romanova; young, naïve, wife, mother…
Natasha pushes the thought aside and leaves her unforgiving bed to start her day early. Nothing lasts forever, she warns herself.
