**********I do not own any of the characters; they belong to who they belong to. No copy right intended. This story is rated mature. It contains profanity, violence and adult situations.********
Chapter 1
YOU MUST READ ...RICOCHET OF LOVE...FIRST TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS STORY!
xoxo
PG
ABELS POV
Going for a ride to the bank to clean out Dad's safety deposit box. It's been a couple of weeks since he's been gone. I was finally getting everything done I needed too. I took the long way there just so I could think. When I ride it always helps clear my head.
I had to show them the death certificate so they would let me get into it. I folded it back up slowly and put it back into my cut. It was the first time I really looked at that. It's been the small things that keep hitting me the hardest over the last couple of days.
Knowing dad, who in the hell knows what I'd find in there. Thomas and Crystal wanted to come with me but, I thought it was best if they didn't. If there's something that would hurt his family, they would never know about it. Cause I would destroy it and keep his secret. I won't let his legacy be tarnished by some of the wrong things that I already know he did. The more shit I find of his; the more secrets I know he was carrying with him.
There were stacks of cash, nothing unusual about that. When you earn above the law you never keep it all in one place. A bunch of papers and a large manilla envelope. I threw it all in a bag and would go through it some other time.
Riding by his old house. I almost went in but decided that I would wait to tackle that shit another day. Fuck I can only imagine all the shit I'm gonna in find in there that I don't wanna know about.
I've been open with Thomas since Dad has been gone. Maybe that was my first mistake. He doesn't understand retaliation the way I do. Cause usually all he ever goes on are pussy type runs. I don't think he would have even patched in if Dad hadn't forced him into. I think it was the guilt that finally got Thomas to do it.
"He wrote this for us and you should at least take the time to read it Thomas. There's so much shit no one knew about him and the way he struggled."
Thomas didn't feel any of this was important and I don't think he could care less about who dad really was or things he tried to do. I know Thomas has never had the love for the club like I have.
Riders of the Storm
Brothers of Love; Outlaws by Heart
By Jackson Teller
For my sons, my life, Abel and Thomas
.
Everyman carries a gun as his own symbol of allegiance and strength. But a true outlaw carries it cause he's sworn to violence and his own insatiable will for power.
Sometimes you gotta talk out of your gun. Sometimes you gotta talk out of your mouth to get what you want and make shit happen.
Violence is our way of life and how we survive it. It will be our ending too.
I wanna make sure you both become a better man than me.
In loving memory of: JT, Piney, Opie and Andrew.
Entry 1-
There will be days when your
forced to make decisions that
affect the lives of everyone you
love. Choices that will change
you forever.
You reach an age when you
realize being a man isn't about
respect or strength. It's about
all the lives you touch. I'm at that
place boys. I'm staring one of those
decisions in the face and it looks
back at me with historical eyes.
It calls me a coward, killer, a
fraud.
It wants me to crack and run
from my service of my fate like a
broken boy. Today I will not be that.
I will be the man my father tried
to be. I will make you proud.
.
Entry 2-
By now I'm sure that you've
figured out for yourself that I'm
embracing my outlaw side.
Welcoming it in and dancing
with the devil for it. I've traveled
it's full circle and I'm back where
I started, having to kill to make
shit right again.
On my watch I've let my family
side suffer. You can't be both.
You have to be willing to give
more to one side than the other
at times. Or just completely get
out of one. I'm gonna do what I gotta
do no matter the consequences I
must face for it.
But you've gotta get bloody and
cruel. Sacrifice what you love the
most and that's been the struggle
that I've had. No matter if I fail
know that I still love you. You'll
have the chance to grow up to be
the man that I could never be.
Thomas only read the first few entries before he was done with it. He tossed it back on my desk "This doesn't mean shit Abel. I loved Dad just as much as you did. But he was rambling in there about a lot of nothing. He was probably drunk or stoned when he wrote most of it. Let it go man."
I always thought Thomas and I were so different cause we had different moms. He has always been more protected from the club life than I was. More on the outside of it. But now, I don't think that's it at all.
Thomas is very educated like Tara. Hell I couldn't wait to quit school and get that cut on my back. But not Thomas. He hangs out sometimes in the clubhouse but he doesn't know shit about what we really do. I don't think he could kill anyone if he had to.
When Thomas would go shopping at some fancy clothing store, he would wear that in the clubhouse. Dad would just shake his head "How in the fuck did I raise a pussy ass biker is beyond me."
That's exactly what Thomas is too. He only wears the best and everything is just a symbol status to him. That's the part of the cut he does love. Everyone in Charming gives us respect cause of it and fears us. Not mention all the pussy you could ever want.
"I'm thinking about going to talk to Lilyan about Cain. Do you wanna do a ride along with me?" Thomas thinks I'm obsessed on this subject too.
"How do you know Abel that Dad didn't know about him?" I told him again what Cain had said again. His father died before he was born.
"Yeah I know that. But that doesn't mean that Lilyan didn't tell Dad and he didn't want to have anything to do with the kid." Thomas is so fucking hard-headed. There is no way Dad knew about Cain being his son. The way he spent the rest of his life dwelling over Lilyan and torturing himself because he wasn't with her.
I didn't give a shit what Thomas thought about it. I was gonna talk to her anyways. There's a part of me that's gotta know the truth. The truth about a lot of things that everyone seems to wanna hide or pretend like it didn't happen. I rode all day to get to where Lilyan lives. I wasn't sure how to approach her yet. But I'd figure it out once I got there.
Lilyan answered the door and didn't look like she was surprised to see me "Abel, what can I do for you?"
Asking if she had a second to talk, she came outside and we sat down on the porch. I tried to be subtle about it and we talked about nothing but bullshit stuff. Then I decided fuck it just ask her "I need to know Lilyan is Cain Dad's son?"
She tried to act like I was out of my mind and had no idea what I was talking about. I took the letters out of my cut that Dad had written to her over the years and gave them to her.
She only read a couple of them and was trying hard to not break down but, she finally did. I went to try to comfort her but, she pushed me away "You need to leave and don't ever come back here."
Lilyan gave the letters back and told me she didn't want them "I just wanna know the truth that's all. Dad kept journals Lilyan. He wrote about everything. Including when you were with him."
She had a horrified look on her face when I said that "I don't care what Jaxs wrote. It doesn't mean anything."
"I know there's more to it than you two just deciding to part ways. I've asked everyone in the club and they all give me a fucken different version of the story. Nobody will answer my questions. That's all I really want, is just some fucken answers."
Going into the house cause Lilyan couldn't get away from me fast enough "We don't have anything to talk about because there's nothing to tell you. You need to leave."
"Fine. How about I'll have this conversation with Cain? Let's see how he feels about it when I show him what Dad wrote and when he figures out you've been lying to him all these years."
"You need to listen to me Abel. I loved Jackson and he was a good man. But you have no idea how much bad shit your stirring up right now. Somethings are best left buried where they belong. Let your father rest in peace and don't you come back here again." I left cause there was no talking to her. She slammed the door shut in my face along with the Dad's memory. But I know she's hiding something and I'm gonna find out what it is.
I've put off going through his papers from the safety deposit box. I needed to get his life insurance taken care of so I could finally have this shit finished. Putting in trash what wasn't important. After this I just need to get his house ready to go on the market then I can put that part of it to rest.
Opening his wallet I found; pictures of me and Thomas when we were babies, a picture of one of our baby sonogram, money, condoms and bunch of bitches phone numbers.
There was a picture of Lilyan all dressed up in red dress with a fancy hairdo. I think she was setting at the bar of the clubhouse before it got remodeled when the picture was taken. It was worn from time and being carried around all those years. She looked so beautiful though. When I flipped it over; Madam Lil "What the fuck. Was she a hooker too?"
I went to stick the pictures in Crystal's photo album when I noticed the sonogram picture had a name typed on it; Andrew Teller "Jesus Christ how many fucken kids does he have that we don't know about?"
The cash I would divide up between me and Thomas. I thought about Cain but, decided from the looks of their house and what they drove they probably don't really need the money anyways. Besides how would I explain that to him. Here's some cash from your old man you never knew about.
Looking over all the papers there wasn't anything else that I needed to do. I opened the envelope up and I found two trust funds that had been setup by some corporation. Dad was listed as the beneficiary in case of our death and until we reached the age of twenty one. But it was the amount that blew me away. Each one was worth one hundred thousand dollars. Not exactly something that someone who lived on an outlaw budget could ever afford.
There was so many damn things going on since he died that made no sense to me. Inside there was also a letter too.
Jaxs,
I waited until you left the clubhouse to put this in the mailbox. I know we aren't suppose to ever meet again. We have to protect our families from what we've done. No one can ever know our truths.
This is for Abel and Thomas to have for when they grow up. I wanted to make sure that they were taken care of. I know you didn't want any of the money but, it's only right that they have it.
When you came into my life all I had was grief and sorrow. I know that I'm still responsible for what happened to my family because of who I am but, you eased that pain for me.
I once told you that I didn't have room for anyone but Gabriel and Addison in my life or in my heart. That I would truly never love again. But, I was so wrong. You have been my broken heart savior. Giving me more than you will ever know.
I really didn't want the weekend we spent together to ever come to an end. It will be the last memory I have of you. The last time I will ever get to lay in your arms. But we can't keep sneaking around hoping that no one will find out. This has to be our ending. I will always have a piece of you with me that I will protect and love forever.
Please don't come looking for me again. We are only hurting each other more by doing this. I will be gone by the time you get this. Quietly will have slipped away in the night.
I will never stop loving you,
Lily
Going through Dads journals by dates trying to see if he wrote about their meeting. I couldn't find anything in there. He had so many separate notebook that he wrote shit in. I found one that had on the front of it; Ricochet Of Love. It was all about Lilyan.
The only entry I found that even came close to the time frame was when he went on a run alone.
Sabbatical Run
The best weekend of my life.
When a man truly loves a woman it doesn't end
even when they leave you.
What a fool I was to think I could get by
with only these few million tears I've cried.
I should have known the worst was yet to come.
And that crying times for me had just begun.
Cause today I started loving you again.
I'm right back where I've really always been.
I get over you just long enough to let my heartache
start mending, then I rip my heart open and start
loving you all over again.
That must have been it and maybe that's when she became pregnant with Cain too. I'm now more sure than ever that Dad didn't know anything about him. That's the most confusing part. Why would she not tell him about having his child?
The only thing I could think of was she had a family already. That could be why everyone was acting like it was some dirty little secret. She mentioned Gabriel and Addison. I needed to know more about them too.
After reading several entries I know Dad never stopped loving her. People are hiding a bunch of shit from me.
It's been a year, since the last time I've seen her.
My God, I could swear it was ten. And all the
liquor I've drank to forget her. Is gonna kill me but
fuck it I'll keep drinking til then.
I've been living in hell with a broken heart as my
prison cell. Still paying for my cheating crime and
I've got a long ways to go cause I'm still doin' time
for that one too.
It's been twenty to life in a place where the sun
never shines for me. For so much shit I've done in
my life and for the club. And tomorrow you're
gonna find me right here in this clubhouse sitting at
the head of the table, still doin' time.
Still doin' time, where a man ain't gonna ever be
forgiven. My poor heart is breaking and there's no
escaping it no matter how much I fucken try. Each
morning I wake up and I find, I'm still doin' time
without Lil in my life...
He had filled up the entire notebook of her. Some of it was hard to read cause when he wrote it when he was either drunk or stoned out of his mind. There wasn't enough time for me to sit and read it all. I flipped to the last page that were dated the week he died.
The bars are all closed. It's four in the morning and
I must have shut 'em all down by the shape that I'm
in. I laid my head on the handle bars to just catch
my breath and the fucken horn started honking.
The whole neighborhood knows it's just the biker
home drunk again.
I tripped on the floor when I came stumbling in
from another empty day of no love in my life.
Goddamn it's been four bottles since I tried to
forget her. My memories of her was still with
me while I laid on the floor trying to sober up
enough to get my pathetic ass up.
I can't hold up much longer the way I feel. God if
drinking don't kill me. Lil's memory will...
How in the fuck did I miss what Dad was going through? I was by his side all the time and I never saw it. I knew he had feelings for Lilyan when I was growing up and loved her. But he was completely broken, bleeding on the inside and I never knew it. He was hiding it from all of us, the hell he was living through everyday. I rode the next morning with him after he wrote this and he was in the middle of it. Strong and taking care of club business as usual.
The last couple years is when I noticed the biggest change in Dad. When we would retaliate he would always want to be the one that pulled the trigger. He never showed fear and would walk straight towards the line of gun fire instead of taking cover from it.
Jackson Teller feared no man and nothing. Not even the reaper coming for him. Just to find out it was a woman who made him weak and just her memory brought him to his knees.
The more I read and find out the more none of this makes any fucken sense to me. Why did he stay with Tara all those years if he loved Lilyan so much? If Lilyan loved him why would she leave him so far behind?
Locking that shit up in my safe cause nobody needed to see it. No one needs to know that truth about his weakness. Thomas will never know about this either. It would just give him another reason to distance himself from Dad even more.
I asked Dalton to find out anything he could about the Children of Tomorrow Corporation. I told him to find out everything he could about Lilyan too "Keep this shit between me and you."
This is not how I wanna start things out in the club, hiding secrets from them like Dad had done. He had so many secrets that even I didn't know about serving by his side everyday. But until I know the truth it was the only alternative I've got. I'm also gonna keep this from Thomas for now too. Right or wrong it's just the way shit has gotta be.
Riding home I saw Lilyan in the Police Station parking lot. By the time I turned my bike around and got back she was already gone. I went to find out what the fuck she was doing here "She was asking questions about Jaxs death. She got a copy of the police report and wanted pictures of the crime scene but I told her I couldn't release those to her."
Lilyan was confusing the hell out of me. When I went to see her a couple of days ago, she didn't wanna even talk about Dad. Now she comes all the way to Charming to find out shit about his death. But why the fuck would she do that?
When I went home I tried to shut it all out but I couldn't. I told Crystal about Cain along with some of the stuff I read in Dad's journals. I asked her what she thought I should do about it. She don't ever sugar coat shit about her opinion. That's what I love about her the most; we keep shit real between us. No matter if it's a fight to the end. We say what we gotta say.
When she sat my plate down on the table I rubbed my hand over her stomach "I love you Crystal and him too."
She laughed "You don't know that yet. It could be a girl you know."
Sitting down on my lap and putting her arm around my neck "I think you should do what you think is right Abel. Don't let the others tell you what that is, not even me. Because you know that your father wouldn't have. He would have done what he wanted too no matter what anybody else wanted him to do."
Dad was right about when you find that one that holds you together; you never give them up. Crystal has given up so many things to be with me already. Her family never understood how she could be with someone like me. When they found out she was pregnant with my kid, she was totally disowned and discarded as nothing in their lives. No longer existing in their world anymore. The club has shown her that she was a part of our family and she does have people who care about her.
"Thomas thinks it's wrong and I should just let it go."
"So what if Thomas does think it's wrong? He believes that a lot of the things that happen in the club are wrong. But he doesn't ever have to deal with them Abel, you always do."
Giving me a slow sweet kiss just like she always does "No matter what you decide to do about Cain. I will support that one hundred percent. Cause your my man Abel and always will be."
Asking Crystal if she would wanna go with me on a drive. She already knew when I told her where we were gonna go "Maybe I can get Lilyan to talk to me. She is more likely to open up to me than a guy. You know woman to woman." Goddamn I love her she's always just knows what to say or do.
Lilyan's car wasn't parked in the driveway. But I saw Cain pulling out of the driveway on his bike. We tailed him and was hanging back so he wouldn't see that we were following him.
We parked across the street when he pulled his bike up by a car. A dark hair girl got out of it and Cain opened up the trunk of her car. He took out a large case. They went walking in the bar hand in hand.
Me and Crystal parked by his bike and went inside too. Finding a table in the back to sit down at. I went up and got me a beer and Crystal a coke. She actually seemed to be enjoying this "Do you know how long it's been Abel since we went out anywhere that didn't have to do with the club?"
I forget sometimes just how hard this life really is on her. How much I'm gone and she's left alone.
The lights went down low on the stage and I almost choked on my beer when I saw who was here for the entertainment tonight, Cain. That cocky little fuck sure could play the guitar and sing though. The attitude he has and his smile was all Dad. All the women in here was coming on to Cain. But he was only paying attention to the girl who came in here with him. Even Dad would have enjoyed watching this shit.
The last song they played was a slow one "Come on babe dance with me."
Crystal was right it's been so long since we've done this. Holding her and my kid as close to me as I could on the dance floor. Cain saw us dancing and gave me a little nod from the stage and I gave him one back.
After he was done him and his old lady came over to talk to me and Crystal. Everything was cool and we were just bullshiting. Until I started asking him questions about his family, his mom and his dad "This conversation is over."
They got up and walked out. Not good-bye, go to hell, nothing. So we followed them out "What the fuck is your problem Cain?"
"I said this fucking conversation is over Abel."
Getting his helmet out of his saddle bag. Cain drew a gun on me. I pushed Crystal behind me to protect her and the baby "My uncle warned me some day a biker would come around asking a lot of questions just as you did tonight. Tell your old lady to walk away. This don't got shit to do with her. He told me I gotta take that biker out when he comes snooping around to protect my family. I didn't think it would be you Abel. Sorry man it's nothing personal, it's just business. But I gotta kill ya."
I hope you enjoyed reading me.
